Condom Cookbook!
Oh, Japan, you're so creative. As a way of drawing attention to poor condom usage in Japan, a manga author has put together a book on using condoms. No, not on penises: to quote Twilight Zone - IT'S A COOKBOOK. You might think this is weird, but given some thought, cooking with condoms is just like sex with condoms: put tasty-juicy meat in the condom, don't EAT the condom - throw it away when done, and, um, well, it's about that simple.
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Nudist Water Thieves!
A California resort has been siphoning a creek to fill up their wildfire-fighting reserves. Sounds reasonable, right? Well, they're in trouble because they've been swimming naked in their "reserves". It wouldn't be nearly as newsworthy if they weren't a nudist resort, but trying to pretend their swimming pool has firefighting benefit when everyone else has to live pool-less due to the drought is a bit selfish.
The Most Dirty Books!
It's Banned Books Week here in the U.S., where underpant superheroes and hog warts are somehow destroying society. For a bit of reflection on how far we've come, though, here's an article from The New Republic in the 1930s, an interview with the book censor himself. Of course he found them titillating, but the children! He's protecting children from smut! The more things change, the more they stay the same - although today 'banned books week' is in a sense about how far we've come, because the books aren't being stopped at the border anymore, intercepted in the mails, it's the individual shelves in a school or library where the battle rages on.
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Pets: Sex Trouble!
Why aren't couples having sex? According to this survey, most of the time it's because of financial stresses. A third of the time, however, it's the dog's fault. Mind you, this is a British survey, so you may need to factor in the stoic British passive aggressiveness. "Yes, it's Fido's fault we haven't had sex in a while."
"Indubitably, darling, were it not for the dog's snoring, we would be banging right now."
"Yes, bad dog! Snoring...and leaving the toilet seat up, boy, I do hate that! Bad dog!"
"Well, in that case, don't forget how...Fido...forgets to balance the checkbook and we get an huge overdraught fee for going over only a few quid. Bad dog!"
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Cosmo Positions IRL!
I've been commenting on the viability of Cosmo's sex positions for years, and somebody finally decided to put their health at risk and actually attempt these dangerous acrobatic techniques. I hope they were at least certified in yoga, so that their inevitible disclocations and bone-breaks didn't cause too much permanent damage.
Three Breasts!
Up until now, the only reason this website has the tag "three breasts" was for Total Recall - but now - supposedly - there's the real thing. Jasmine Tridevil has undergone cosmetic surgery to put a breast implant directly centered on her sternum -- with a small "nipple" bump added, and an areola tattooed for added realism. Here she is answering questions, and apparently her objective was to make herself unattractive but still pretty, but getting fat would suck. Never heard of chubby chasers, baby? Anyhoo, the most likely reason is that she wants a TV show according to the Daily Mail, and has a camera crew following her around to film a pilot documenting the trials and tribulations of being a three-breasted woman. This is just what the three-breasted TV audience has been praying for these so many years. Seeing that she literally appeared out of nowhere only about a month ago according to Facebook and Youtube, but already has a TV crew of her very own, I'm leaning towards 'hoax' and 'viral video', or some gray area in between, and Snopes appears to agree with me. If the supernumerary titty turns out to be real, well, now that's something that aughta be on TV.
Bubble Bex!
When your boobs are that big, it's a Herculanean effort to cover them up with bubbles; it simply can't be done. Something is always going to be poking through just a little bit...
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Captain America Chopper!
Count your pennies, baby: the "Captain America" chopper from Easy Rider is going on the auction block. Several were made for the film by Cliff Vaughn, but the mint models were all stolen during production. This one is the bike that crashed at the end, and the director gave it to Grizzly Adams, who worked on restoring it. The style is so iconic they make custom kits just of the Captain America, but drive the real thing around and you'll be the cool kid on the block.
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Older Women: Better Lovers!
"Sexpert" Tracey Cox wants you to know that older women are better lovers. However, really, that's like asking which is better: a Tesla S versus a 70s-era Barracuda. Both have their pluses and minuses, it's all a matter of taste, you see. Note that they distinguish between "MILFs", which apparently is any 20-something that looks of child-bearing age, and 40- to 50-somethings, like the lady you see below, who is almost 40 in this photo. Attractiveness isn't the whole game, though: Cox points out that an older woman likely has figured out sex by now, and is more likely to have fun doing it.
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Ricoh WG-M1
Here's something for the Christmas list: Ricoh has teamed up with Pentax to made a new rugged camera. The WG-M1 does full 1060p/30fps, takes 14MP photos, can go underwater and be dropped from great heights. At least that's what the promotional material says, it isn't out yet, but at $300 it's not quite as cheap as a GoPro, but it promises a bit higher quality.
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Porn Star Textbook!
A textbook has been withdrawn from circulation because what appears to be cheap stock photography was probably much more expensive than that: one "teacher" is actually a screenshot from cosplay pornography. No, it's not the girl with pigtails, but that was my first guess, too. The woman at the bottom is Mana Aoki, who, as far as can be determined, has never taught mathematics in a professional setting.
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Grandma's Giant Penis!
Grandmas seem to gravitate towards fabric-crafts as they get older: knitting, sewing, rugs made from your old t-shirts -- but one Kansas City grandma has taken things too, too far. Holly Pollyester - if that is her real name - sews, knits, glues, and fastens giant penises. She has an exhibition at the UMKC (go Mizzou!) Gallery of Art. Being short on funds, they got their brochures and posters made through a Kickstarter effort, which is the absolute pure reason that Kickstarter exists. I vote their next Kickstarter is to put together a traveling exhibition to travel the rest of the western-central states - Kansas, Nebraska, Utah, Wyoming - showing off the giant penises at every little small-town community art museum they can find. What that area needs are more giant penises anyhow.
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Bike: Bettter Sex!
A survey of people in Britain has proven that people who ride bike to work have better sex. Well, after a while I suppose. Once you get through the first couple months of biking, I'm sure the positive effects are seen, but those first two months, when you arrive home from work, dripping with sweat, wheezing, thighs twitching uncontrollably, and you go throw up in the bathroom before you take off your bike helmet, yeah, those days aren't going to be very good for sex. But, stay positive through all that, people: someday, you're fucking will improve. It really goes for any exercise: when you've got endorphins flowing, your body is a healthier shape, and you don't just sit around like a lump, it only makes sense that everything, including getting laid, will improve.
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Sex Monsters!
Looking for something sexy to do tonight in New York? The show "Sex Mosters" opens at No Romance Galleries. The show, a collection of works from a variety of artists jumps off into the deep end of sexual depravity, which is just the way they like it in TriBeCa, or so I'm told. More examples of the art here, much of which seems to be photography, multimedia collages, or a mix of the two.
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Meddie Getting Clean!
Stop that, rubber duckie! You're leering at the young lady -- don't be such a creep. Oh, you're such a naughty rubber duckie -- so naughty!
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Sex Toy Data!
Ugh, I never thought anyone could make sex toys boring, but when you look at them purely as data---no, I'm kidding, sex toys are awesome any way they are laid out, even in an end-to-end spiral. Jon Millward has looked at LoveHoney's sales data and put together some nice chart porn describing what he has found.
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PrettyBald Nude Calendar!
It's getting to be that time of year - Calendar Season! And what Calendar Season would be complete without charity nude calendars! The first one to catch my eye is the PrettyBald Alopecia charity, who have brought out twelve bald women to bring awareness to their hairless affliction. Given how much non-alopecia-suffering women put effort into making themselves hairless, you know that there's plenty of customers who have a particular interest in this specific calendar.
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Swiss Titties!
Boy, workplaces in Switzerland are really, really laid back: a Swiss federal secretary spent downtime during her workday tweeting nude and explicit photos from her desk. Her defense is that what she does on break is her own business, but the governmental inquest might not be so flippant about it. Here's some examples of her posts, and she apparently deleted her original Twitter account, but reportedly this is her new one, and her porn vids are still online. Sure, Switzerland has a liberal workplace, but if you gotta make ends meet with your government job by doing porn on the side, those little multi-tool pocketknives must not be entirely worth living there.
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Beards: Unsexy!
Sad news, fellas: we have reached peak beard, and an abundance of facial hair is now unattractive. It's not really about any cultural change, but an inherent nature of facial hair: the more people that have beards, the less attractive they are as a whole. Elle magazine weighed in, and unfortunately did not reach a consensus. AskMen, of course says don't shave, because they want all the women for themselves, those greedy bastards. Esquire believes the 'peak beard' news, finding that more women dislike beards...but not by a landslide. I'm one of those guys who shaves once every week or two; my beardy-state varies depending on when you run into me. Maybe that'll improve my odds overall, by playing for both sides, and I can beat this 'peak beard' madness until the tide turns again, and clean-shavenness dominates, making facial hair the more desired trait.
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Playmates Not Hookers!
The line between "porn star" and "prostitute" is actually less blurry than you think, and Playboy would like to keep it that way. Not that Playboy wants to call their Playmates 'porn stars', either, but a lawsuit filed proves they won't stand by Playmates being called prostitutes. A Canadian escort website is using the word "playmate" to describe their staff, and Hef wants to make sure that 'playmate' only applies to his nude models, and they're much too wholesome to be associated with prostitution. His claim is that calling the escorts 'playmates' sullies the character of his trademark - yes, 'playmate' is trademarked, despite kindergarten teachers using it as a gender-neutral descriptor of friendship for decades - and wants the escort service to stop. No word yet on whether the Canadian hookers have a resonse, but I'm betting that response will be polite.
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God Loves Sex!
A Pennsylvania church has bought a billboard to advertise their congregation by announcing God loves sex! Of course he does -- he wants you to have sex with your wife, your wives, your slaves, your dead brother's wives, anyone else willing and able, or even unwilling in the case of slaves and prisoners of war, and, heck, if you're righteous and too drunk to know what's happening, sex with daughters isn't too bad, either.
But this non-denominational church is looking at it through the lens of the Song of Solomon, which is quite interesting, seeing most churches prefer to read it as an allegory, with limited sexual connotation, and a church reading it as straight-up erotica is a nice change. It's my favorite book of the bible, you know.
Of course, other churches have a problem with this. I'm not sure why since, being a Christian sermon, it is unlikely to change the common rote rules about sex that Evangelical Christianity has wrought upon humanity for the past century, so the problem seems to be that this is a "SEX - now that I've got your attention" moment, a grab for attention, which apparently it has worked, so God works in not-so-mysterious-ways sometimes. Hopefully the sermon isn't as sexy as The Notebook, because church parking lots already have enough sinful sex going on.
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