Everythingless Bra!

Seriously, ladies, if you're top has so little fabric that you think you have to resort to one of these, you might actually be topless and just not realize it. This is apparently for women wearing the J-Lo dress but with 300% more boobs. The mechanics of these strapless bras seems to be elastic clamping of the breast, which may appeal to the S&M afficianados among you, but everyone else will have to sacrifice for fashion. The elastic looks tight and spring-loaded: I imagine this model, during the photoshoot, sneezed and both of these popped free and flew across the room like Nerf rockets. But I like to imagine those sorts of things all the time anyway.


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Porn Starlets Centered!

A new study took a look at the mental wellbeing of female pornstars and found that, not only weren't they all "damaged goods" with a history of sex abuse and mental illness, they are actually well-balanced, spiritual women with a handle on their lives. I'm sure there's some stragglers on the outer edge of the bell curve - conservative arguments love to show those as examples of the whole - but it's nice to hear that it's studied and documented, not just assumptions made. The drug use statistic is a little unpleasant, but compare to sex objects in other industries - film, music - and you're likely to find similar numbers...or so I assume - statisticians, get on it! The full study is here if you're cool enough to have journal access.

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Vagina Hacking!

Ah, a woman after my own heart. Let's say you enjoy both the fun of electronics hacking, and the pleasure of diddling yourself? You figure out how to redesign your vibrator for maximum efficiency. I've wondered this for quite a while and messed around with remote control vibes before, and I figured that there's a lot of technology here to be manipulated that nobody has looked at before in quite the same light. Good for you, Scanlime vagina hacker!


Win Lingerie From Slip!

My good friend Slip over at A Slip of A Girl is hosting a contest in which you can win some lingerie. Go enter, and see what sorts of stuff Slip has to say about lingerie, she has a brain full of good info on the subject.

Crazy Eyes In The Bath!

She has come down a a small case of the crazy-eyes, but maybe she's just a little cold. Standing in the bath with your naked bits hanging out, all soapy like, with nobody to holdw you close? Downright maddening.


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Steampunk Pasties!

Organic Armor makes a variety of cosplay and costume armor, particularly steampunky adornment, but what if you're, say, travelling on an airline and can't afford to pack your entire suit of armor? Why, bring your brass steampunk pasties! It provides the best of both worlds: armor that allows the greatest range of motion, while protecting your most important assets - your nipples. Just be careful, though: while normal silk and tassels might cause a few minutes of eye irritation when a burlesque admirer gets too close, brass pasties are liable to put an eye out. Also, beware of men with powerful magnets.


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Unfurl Your Flag!

Happy Veteran's Day everyone! As a public service announcement, here's some useful information on how to unfold a U.S. flag. God Bless America!

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Tight Rock Band!

OK, here's my reality-show invention hat. From this hat, I draw the following words: "rock band"...and..."porn star"! Damn, Bree Olson already invented this, and called it Tight. Their show is coming to a cable TV station near you in the fall of...2011? Oh, don't worry -- they're still around and giving interviews, probably to promote the DVD release.


Lesbian Bath!

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize there were two - oh, I'm still invited? Well, I'm not sure where I would fit. My, how gracious of you ladies: you seem to have plenty of places for me to "fit". How considerate!

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Beery Boobs!

It's so sad when someone so young has such a big drinking problem. Just look at her downing that beer: somebody can't hold their alcohol well. It looks like she's just missing the, ahem, support she needs. Maybe she just needs to get things off her chest.


Fuck Yeah Obama!

Here's to all of you who voted for Obama yesterday! Granted, he's not as far Left as this country needs, but he's a hell of a lot better than the alternative. It extends down to Congress, too, getting things back on track. Since Obama's election we've had four years of increases in economic growth, home prices, unemployment has dropped, and things have been moving in the right direction. Nothing has been more maddening than the amount of "America Sucks!" that has been filling the campaign ads. If you've been in Congress over recent years, take credit for the successes, stop saying you and your fellow incumbents have been fucking it up.

By the way: BOOBS!



If you've ever been bored at grandma's and watched how her music boxes worked, you'll appreciate the Dyskograf. This technological marvel is played by drawing musical compositions on circular disks, which are then read by a device resembling a record player, which essentially makes them a 21st century version of this.


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Sexuality Definitions!

Sexis wants to make sure you understand just how wrong those comments on 4chan are, by offering a nice, thorough, and concise description of the non-binary levels of human sexuality, particularly when actual sexuality is so disconnected from what's on the tin in so many cases. As a bonus, here's some prizewinning trans women for your entertainment:

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Figurines and Dolls!

See, here, dear readers, this is why I get paid the big bucks: to uncover weird corners of the sexual internet for you. This is something I've run across way too often to overlook. Today, we're talking about men who play with Anime dolls. Not the lifesize RealDoll crowd, but little, Barbie-doll sized ones.

OK, Japan is weird to begin with, so it's no surprises that sexually explicit figurines are a common thing over there. They love their hardcore anime, so why not have little statuettes and action figures of your favorite cartoon whores?

Yes, that's a bookshelf figurine, approximately 1/8 scale, but the tits look about 1:1 for most normal adults. But, hey, you've got fully grown men buying these things, so you have to trust their sensibilities when producing your product. I'm sure, ladies, when you first go to a guy's apartment and see shelves and shelves of these figures - with their clothes temporarily on, of course, the guy's not a sleeze - you might want to give a little more thought to your opinion of the guy. If you're on the same page when it comes to tiny women with huge breasts, by all means, you're exactly the gal he's looking for.

Of course, you can't just leave sexy little naked figurines like that alone. When it comes to fan-created pornographic video, the "cumming on figurines" crowd are some of the most enthusiastic and productive group of 'em, as their Reddit club shows guys love orgasming on miniature women.

As you might guess, having a immovable and unresponsive statuette isn't nearly as fun as if you could pose them. Here comes the next step in the doll worship continuum: the ball-joint doll, or BJD.

Sorry for the nightmare fuel; that's what a plain unembellished one looks like. The fun is getting to build your own, choosing clothing, hair, and even different body parts to fit your particular needs in a jointed tiny woman doll. Volks is the premiere maker of these dolls, but several other companies are also in the market:

I looked around for pictures of men cumming on a BJD (such an exciting life I lead), but they're not as common. The appeal of moving into jointed sex doll territory is this magic of modern technology:

This isn't just a standalone toy, though: it is designed to use the modularity of the BJD mannequins, replacing the fun parts that you want soft and sexy while leaving the rest of the ladyparts on a 1/8th scale to a normal-sized human.

And, yes, it does look about as much fun as you might think:

Really makes a small penis look downright intimidating, doesn't it? All of this is peripherally related to koonago, literally "small lady", or "shrinking woman" pornography. There's a degree of domination, of course - which should make it no surprise that giant-woman-small-man is significantly more common - and on the further edges having a tiny woman crosses over into vore territory, but that's a bit beyond the scope of today's discussion. The thing that impressed me most about this affection for tiny women is that it has little to do with youth - it teeters on the edge but never quite goes there - and is more about an actual tiny adult women facing off against a giant penis. And who isn't turned on by that?