"49ccs? What's that, a kid's toy?" Well, it might be if it wasn't equipped with a crossbow and hatchet. The Motoped is a souped-up moped with dirtbike dreams -- they take a small, efficient engine, strap all sorts of manly improvements to it, and call it an extreme machine...which it is. Engine displacement isn't the only way to measure the worth of a bike.

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Count your pennies, baby: the "Captain America" chopper from Easy Rider is going on the auction block. Several were made for the film by Cliff Vaughn, but the mint models were all stolen during production. This one is the bike that crashed at the end, and the director gave it to Grizzly Adams, who worked on restoring it. The style is so iconic they make custom kits just of the Captain America, but drive the real thing around and you'll be the cool kid on the block.

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UD Replicas is a leathermaker who specializes in movie replicas, and they've got something awesome for sale: Batman leather motorcycle gear. It's designed to look just like the movies, except in leather and safety-approved for actual racing. Make sure you live in a state with weak helmet laws, so you can wear it with a cowl and cape.

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So, Playboy, what kind of motorcycle riders do you think your readers are? Guys who want their butt resting on an aborted Decepticon turd. On paper, the motorcycles are powerful and not too shabby in structural respects, but the crotch-rocket is so fucking ugly. The one point of respite is that the top of the page is a Harley, a 1200 Sportster, essentially, but eurostyled with matte-black pipes and a plastic, non-Harley-looking butt. Put a normal Sportster on the list, with some chrome and a classic round fender, and then we can talk.

As part of an exhibit dedicated to the Triumph motorcycle, designers took spare parts from the bikes and made new things - like this awesome Triumph turntable:

It's pretty much just an Ariston RD80 transcription turntable with the platter replaced by the brake rotor of a Triumph, which will probably wreck the turntable's motor due to weight and inertia after a while, but, hey, with that kick-ass Triumph thing bolted to the side in such a way as to prevent the cover from closing, it - um, crap, how could somebody take two things like an RD80 and a Triumph and make something that sucks? They could have added some racing stripes to make it sound faster, too.