A California resort has been siphoning a creek to fill up their wildfire-fighting reserves. Sounds reasonable, right? Well, they're in trouble because they've been swimming naked in their "reserves". It wouldn't be nearly as newsworthy if they weren't a nudist resort, but trying to pretend their swimming pool has firefighting benefit when everyone else has to live pool-less due to the drought is a bit selfish.

It's getting to be that time of year - Calendar Season! And what Calendar Season would be complete without charity nude calendars! The first one to catch my eye is the PrettyBald Alopecia charity, who have brought out twelve bald women to bring awareness to their hairless affliction. Given how much non-alopecia-suffering women put effort into making themselves hairless, you know that there's plenty of customers who have a particular interest in this specific calendar.

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Dave Olinger of Oak Harbor, Washington, wants the position of Sheriff of Island County. Dave happens to be 87-years-old, mad as heck, and likes to sun himself completely naked. His wife blames Jon Stewart for Dave's new interest in politics, which makes him all right by me. Part of his issue is that the current sheriff advertises himself as a Republican candidate - something rather vile to do for a nonpartisan elected position - so Dave's first intention was to run as the Nudist Party.

Trust me, googling "Nudist Party" does not get you information on party affiliation, grassroots initiatives, or political platform FAQs.

Anyhow, Dave wants to keep Whidbey Island safe from political shenanigans for the old, liberal, nudists that call it home. See, just look at the kindly coot, wouldn't you want him as your sheriff?

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Sure, when I go to church pantsless and flappin' in the wind, the cops get called - but in Virginia you can go to church naked and nobody complains at all. At the White Tail Nudist Resort, they've got a chapel and hold Christian religious services in the nude - or, as you'll see in the video, there's some clothed people, so you won't feel left out if you want church but don't feel like not dressing up. I suppose there's a good message in the trappings of earthy materials, and looking how you were the way God dressed you on the day you were born, but all I can think about is how often the pews get cleaned off.

In September this woman shaved for the last time, and has been blogging her hair regrowth. Riveting as it sounds, it's actually more subtle than that: most of her posts are about the expectation of beauty and women's bodies, so you might actually learn something more than just what pubes look like at various stages of growth. It appears she just registered her own domain, but not much content there yet.

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You might not be pushing for full nudity, but sometimes maybe you're just feeling a little quasi-nude. It might be mostly legal in a few states, but the group gotopless.org is trying to spread uncovered boobs throughout the entire country. It's no half-assed group: one of their members, Phoenix Feely went on a 9-day hunger strike over being arrested for sunbathing topless. They're not messing around when it comes to uncovered nipples in public.

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The nudist community is trying to rebrand themselves by pointing out that not only old, fat people like to take off their clothes. For example, they have organized the The Young Naturists and Nudists America, an organization which aims to get young people naked. OK, as a 40-something, that just sounds creepy, but the interesting thing about the Young Nudists is their explicit connection between nudity and sexuality, which they find empowering -- something you hear a lot of well-rounded porn stars talking about. The problem may be less about young people wanting to be nudists, but the asexual message of old-school nudism (not that it was ever without sexuality; people didn't buy naturism magazines for the articles, ya dig?)

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So, despite last night's fireworks you still have all your fingers and you didn't fall into a bonfire or die of alcohol poisoning, so what do you do today on the 5th? Read Naked Day, that's who! Sure, all their photos are of sexy ladies reading profound books, but just picture 40-something naked guy me, 20 pounds overweight, reading Salem's Lot for the twelfth time and then you'll really understand what this holiday means.

Tourists taking a nice ride on the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad got a shock: they saw boobs! Granted, anyone showing off their boobs to random trains full of tourists is an asshole, but they got the attention they wanted, so all that'll mean is more boobs.

So, now, I would totally take a train ride through the mountains if it means getting to see some boobs, so maybe, just maybe, narrow-gauge railroad people, you can turn lemons into lemonade and make this a selling point. If you can't beat them, why not make a buck off the drunk idiots?

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I hope it's purely coincidence that National Masturbation Month coincides with World Naked Gardening Day, which just happens to be today. Because the last time I masturbated in my back yard, it did not turn out the way I expected. So many screaming people, all at once. Anyhow, nudists garden like that all the time, so here's your chance to try it out, hoe around, plant your seed, plow that rut - dammit, it all sounds like sex anyway. Enjoy yourself anyhow.

Something's awesome in the state of Denmark: a Denmarkian politician has announced his plan for fighting oppressive fundamentalist extremism: BOOBS. Citing conservatism's disgust towards the naked human body, Mr. Peter Skaarup figures that as long as topless sunbathing is allowed and encouraged in Denmark, they've got nothing to fear from religious zealots. The Conservative party in Denmark said, come on, how can boobs defeat extremism?, at which point a woman lifted her shirt, causing the members of the conservative party to shriek like little girls, cover their eyes, and run in circles until they crashed into each other, their heads colliding with little coconut noises. As for the naked Denmarkite boobs? Regardless of their antiterrorist weapon capabilities, I say let's keep them out - just in case it works. (via)

While these new x-ray specs installed in the name of airport security have the world up in arms over invasion of privacy (causing protests in Germany), there's one group of people who are more than comfortable with the clotheslessness of the machinery: Nudists! "So if travelers just think of the screen as a virtual skinny dip, something regarded as American as apple pie since before Norman Rockwell, everyone wins in the name of better air travel security," says the head of the American Association for Nude Recreation, who thinks people are being too uptight about what's underneath their clothes - but, generally, you skinny-dip with people you like, not some low-rent NTSB security guard who's having a bad day. Airline passengers aren't quite that kinky.

They used to remove their clothes and frolick in the frothy, warm sea waters...until that dumb sea lion died. A stretch of public beach used by nudists is now the final resting place of the sea lion, and the nudists say it's on porpoise. Government hates nudes, they say, and instead of moving the 10-foot-long corpse further down the beach, they buried it in the way of nude beach volleyball. Nude beach volleyball is a freakin' American tradition, and nothing short of a rotting sea lion should interfere with the grand old sport. This isn't the first time that nude beach volleyball has been threatened by government interventions.

Sadly, the Supreme Court of California doesn't understand the primal joy experienced as the wind whips through your ballhairs: they have ruled that California's nude beaches are illegal, because being nude in public is still illegal, even if everybody's doing it. These are state beaches, however, so I'm fairly certain that if you can find a rich millionaire with a mostly-private beach, you and your naked buddies can still frolick in the salty air, flesh flying without a care in the world, but just keep it in your pants and the public beaches for now.

A thirty-member "naturalist" group in Illinois ("more Peoria than Bloomington", or so the old saying goes) are planning on hosting a Halloween party, complete with apple bobbing, haunted trail, and bare breasts. The nudist Halloween party is open to any interested party - no word on if there's a cover charge - as long as you go clothes-free, although masks won't be discouraged.

Reuters, fulfilling the world's need for only the important news, has compiled a list of the five best nude events in the world. I think they mean 'public events', because last night I participated in 3 different private nude events that far exceeded my enjoyment of Disneyland. Anyhow, the short rundown is: protest, attention-whore, attention-whore, protest, hippies. Eh, it's better than running from the cops after stripping down to nothing outside a bar at 3am. Or so I've heard.

Sadly, residents and visitors of Mount Pleasant, SC, won't be able to have all the fun that they could in the new Charleston Harbor park. Banned activities? Nudity, treasure hunts, and bird feeding. Come on, there's nothing more I like than to spread peanut butter and millet on my dick and feed the birds in the park. Squirrels: fuck'em. Anyhow, the "no nude treasure hunts" seems to be a practical consideration: where will you carry the things you find if you don't have any pockets? The bannings are only suggestions at the moment: Birdy McNudegames is expected to vote them down when they reach the council for approval