Porn Discussion!
The UK is suggesting something horrible: husbands will have to discuss porn-watching with their wives. Not sure exactly why that's brought up, other than to maybe scare men who are too embarassed to discuss porn with their spouses, but any which way it's another reason the UK's hope to porn-block everybody is going to be trouble. If the guy's already chatting with his spouse about his porn, awesome, there's really not much of a big deal there. If he's scared to discuss porn, well, then there's something that's a bigger problem than having to ask your internet company permission to access porn. Best leave it alone and let people manage their own home's porn access, lest the government have to deal with a bunch of new divorces over the porn conflicts they're going to cause. Oh, wait: they have to block porn because TERRORIST, so it's best not to talk about it at all or James Bond will show up at your door to drag your porn-loving ass to Guantanamo.
No Thanksgiving Porn!
Happy Turkey Day, porn conniseurs! Aw, who am I kidding, you're not on the internet. Porn viewing drops like a rock on Thanksgiving, probably because Grandma's in the next room, the cousins have taken over the gaming systems, there's no wifi at Mom's house, or you're driving like a zillion other people. Chin up, you'll get back to masturbating as soon as the holiday is over.
Twitch Porn!
Twitch, a gaming video service, got integrated in the new Playstation 4, such that the PS4's cams can automatically create Twitch videos.
As with any new technology, porn is an early adopter: people are using their PlayStation IV to post pornographic videos of themselves online, which violates Twitch's "gaming only" rules. So, ladies, if you're going to show off your naughty bits, make sure you're weating a GTA t-shirt, or playing with a controller, or something - you wouldn't want to violate Twitch's terms of service.
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Too Many Hooker Calls!
Police in Vancouver, Washington, tried to set up a prostitution sting recently. They placed an 'escort' ad on backpage.com and waited for some unsuspecting john to call and make an appointment. Things didn't go quite as planned: the police were so overwhelmed by calls from prospective clients that they couldn't keep up. Here's a lesson, aspiring prostitutes of Vancouver: the market is fucking hot right now, get in the game!
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Get Hairy!
In September this woman shaved for the last time, and has been blogging her hair regrowth. Riveting as it sounds, it's actually more subtle than that: most of her posts are about the expectation of beauty and women's bodies, so you might actually learn something more than just what pubes look like at various stages of growth. It appears she just registered her own domain, but not much content there yet.
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Pillsbury Dough Boy!
First, a disclaimer: this is not me. Seriously. But, what is is proof of is to what extent guys do whatever a sexy girl tells him. A girl on reddit suggested a guy masturbate with Pilsbury biscuits, and the lonely pothead actually did it - while taking pictures. I hope his yeast infection goes well and at $2.50 a roll of bisquits he'll have spent enough to afford a Fleshlight in, like, two weeks, so I hope this got him laid somehow, otherwise it's probably not worth it.
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Bucket List!
Ah, Mommy Blogs, some of the most frustratingly arousing websites out there. So adventurous and naiive at the same time, like dating the Amish. Here's a bucket-list from one of them -- remember, this is a "difficult things to do before you die" list -- but it, really, sounds like a fun weekend to-do list. "Masturbate"? "Married sex"? If you make it to your deathbed without having done either of those, then you've really, really tried hard to avoid them. All I can hope is that one of those Mommybloggers crosses off all 50 by the time she's 24, and then starts really thinking about the unobtainable sexual pleasure she's really missing out on, and then things will get interesting. Like a bucket list entry that actually requires a bucket to accomplish.
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The Spice Of Life!
In 2006 in London, Amora: The Acadamy of Sex & Relationships was looking for a wall of penises, vaginas, and boobs. They talked to a photographer, hoping he'll shove his lens into people's private parts, but that photographer had met artist Jamie McCartney before and referred him. McCartney decided 2D was much too boring for such a significant installation. He instead created an expanse of castings, 3D penises, boobs, and vulvas jutting out from the wall, or, as I like to think of it, the funnest rock-climbing wall ever invented!
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Love And Cellphones!
People are really attached to their celphones - no, like really attached, to the point that a cellphone is an extension of their body, to the point that cellphones are becoming inextricably tied to sexuality. Planned Parenthood is on track, using cellphones and apps to connect with sexually-active youngsters. When the days of risking being on AOL naughty chatrooms via the family computer are long gone, and people carry around a computer faster and more connected than that in their pocket, it's no surprise that people are taking their sexiness wherever their phone can go -- and NY Mag has 20 people's example of using their phones to get it on with other humans.
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Ron Burgundy Undies!
He's got a movie coming out, a memoir hot off the presses, a Newseum display (wait, really, Newseum?) now Ron Burgundy has his own line of contrast-piping retro tighty-whities for sale. Now, if only they come with their own Christina Applegate, well, I'd have to be in my bunk for a while. This isn't a joke -- Burgundy is only inches away from being a Colbert -- and Jockey is apparently happy to have him as their spokesanchor. Stay classy, underwear industry!
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Recommended Sex Toys!
A female employee of an adult bookstore did an AskReddit recently, and the most relevant question was "what toys do you like?" Well, the young lady answered honestly, picking a top six list, one of which was handmade but the rest anyone can buy. They are:
- Black Label Cal Exotics Rabbit Vibe
- Don Wands Bent G-Dream Glass Massager
- Cal Exotics Gyration Sensations
- Wartenberg Wheel (not strictly a sex toy, but you get how it's used)
- Clover Nipple Clamps
Sudsy Anouck!
She sat up on the edge of the bath, apparently unaware I was quietly watching. She stroked her smooth legs, soaped her naked body, then quietly said, "are you coming in, or just going to keep hiding?" 
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Avengers Toys!
Designer Balasz Sarmai has come up with toy designs for The Avengers. Sex toy designs, that is. They all seem to have some thoughtful features: of course, the Hulk is huge and green, Hawkeye focuses in on the target, Black Widow is stealthy - Marvel needs to license this like now, otherwise they're missing an opportunity! It's too bad Doc Johnson already came out with lame versions called "Super Hung Heroes", although their ""Hulk" looks about the same.
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Pornhub Comments!
I'm not usually one to link to pages with just random meme images on it, but what the hell, this made me laugh: PornHub comments, put out-of-context on stock photos of men at computers. Just in case you needed to visualize who these commenters are.
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Motorcycle Jacket!
It's so rare anything manly shows up in the men's fashion blogs, and here's something useful: motorcycle jackets, and some tips on how to buy one. Just make sure that, if you do buy one, make sure you know how to put it on, otherwise you'll look silly like this chick:
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Soapy Marjana!
Oh, don't look so coy: you left the bathroom door unlocked on purpose, just so you can show off your boobs and offer me a blowjob. I'm almost offended. Almost. I mean, you went through so much work to make this happen, it'd be rude to decline. Just give me a second to take my pants off...
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Bieber Brothel!
Apparently, according to The Blemish, Justin Bieber was getting some hot Panamanian and Brazilian pussy at South American brothels. So fucking what, people: so, it's OK for him to fuck hot chicks as long as there's some semblance of 'dating'? Oh, but pay for something special, ooooh, how skanky? Good for you, Bieber, injecting some of your brazillions of dollars into the Brazillion economy, and a little bit of that other kind of 'injection' too. Where else are you going to find a Selena Gomez lookalike except for Brazil and Panama, aside from the less-cute half of this lesbian couple?
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Drum Lessons!
And this is why Jayde got kicked out of her "first drum session free" coupon. I think she was trying to get the rest of her drum lessons free, too, but she didn't realize how expensive those drumsticks are, and now she ruined them. Bad move, Jayde.
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Chinese Escort Class!
Let's say, you're looking for a career change. There's lots of things you can learn from, online, just by watching videos. For example: watch this video to learn how to be a Chinese prostitute! Sadly, unlike most internet videos which show Asian women in glasses and dress clothes, nothing pornographic happens in this video. But, apparently China has found the benefit of social media, and like everywhere else, hookers do great business if they know how to use it right. Good job, China, your makeup is great!
Artisinal Dildos!
Etsy is the place to go if you want to buy artisinal bookmarks, toaster cozies, knitted caps that look like things, and - hey! - they've got artisinal sex toys, too! The plus and the minus of this brings up a dark hole - sex toys aren't really regulated by anyone, although the FDA kinda, sorta does, so there's no really knowing if what you're getting is safe and clean. So, be careful out there, everyone: I'd gather that Etsy sellers are probably cleaner than that guy selling dildoes out of the back of his van, and if you're buying dildoes out of the back of the van, you probably don't know what Etsy is, so go figure. At the very least, these are absolute works of art, so maybe you get an abstract one, put it on your mantle, and save it for a rainy day.
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Halal Sex Shop!
A young Turkish entrepeneur has opened a halal online sex shop, which meets Muslim rules for austerity and modesty revolving around their absurdly conservative views on sex -- but, really, there's a lot of non-Muslims who are a bit skeeved by all the porniness of the average sex toy store, so there might be a market for this sort of website among non-Muslims, akin to people who buy kosher beef out of personal preference rather than adherence to any religious beliefs. Good luck to Mr. Haluk Murat Demirel, because if there's anything that's a given, it's that anything remotely sexual is going to piss someone off in the Middle East.
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