Saw this on Gracie's site, it evoked a chuckle...It's like how the best barber in town has the worst haircut. There's some things that just can't happen.

I've been commenting on the viability of Cosmo's sex positions for years, and somebody finally decided to put their health at risk and actually attempt these dangerous acrobatic techniques. I hope they were at least certified in yoga, so that their inevitible disclocations and bone-breaks didn't cause too much permanent damage.

I've never sent a dick pi--er, OK, you got me, but it was to a willing recipient. Guys that send photos of their junk, unsolicited, thinking it'll make a woman wet, they're kinda skeevy, but judging from the internet's experience that's 94% of men. Janet, here, has taken upon herself to look at 89 dick-pics collected from her friends, which is, like, the first 10 minutes after opening a dating website profile. Watch how Janet's day goes from "Hey, it's sunny and I wonder what wonderful thing I'm going to do today!" to "Dear god, So. Many. Penises. I feel that way with labia/asshole closeups in porn; it started out as mildly unsexy, and after a point it's just like, no, thanks, that's enough of that. It's not disgust or unattractiveness, it's that line where the question "do you really think this is the sexiest thing you could take a picture of?" gets asked.

Via.

When you talk about the porn that takes the most artistic talent, you're probably thinking erotic lovey-dovey, or maybe orgies and BDSM, but it takes a lot more than funny wigs and soundalike names to make a porn parody. Apparently, the watershed moment was Not the Bradys XXX, which directly parodied a well-known and visible property, both blatantly and accurately.

Via.

Last week, artist Tatia Pilivea released a video depicting several very attractive and cooperative strangers kissing each other for the first time. The universe quickly took offense with the video -- which shows how effective Pilivea was -- and everyone with a video camera made their own version of it, each one trying to be more 'real' than the other. First times are weird and gross, at least for most people who own video cameras, so videos like the hilarious First Handjob came into being, or Playboy finds an excuse to make Playmates kiss each other, but the one who definitely did it the best is Vice magazine, who really got really-real strangers to kiss each other on camera. Yes, including a creepy old guy and sloppy sounds, which really makes a 'first time' what it is: a unique experience for those involved, and less for an audience like the original was.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Here is a pilgrim lady masturbating in public. Enjoy.

This makes me fucking dizzy, but it's worth it for the sticker boob pasties. Plus, I imagine this is how my brain would feel if I ever went to Burning Man, just from the contact high from all the hippies. Are they still hippies? Or are they hipsters now? Or is this something else? One of these days I might have to go, just long enough that I leave before I get too annoyed.

Similar to this - if you ever wanted to see what it was like to watch a woman struggle to do something intellectual while bring brought to orgasm, here's your chance: Clayton Cubitt has filmed sexy women trying to read a book out loud while sitting on a vibrator. Too bad they don't get very far; Clockwork Orange is one of my favorites.

Via.

Is there nothing more adorable than this? Two of my favorite things get put together, like peanut butter and chocolate, or Volkswagens with tank treads. Topless Girls Reading Books is a thing now, and it makes me sad that it took this long. Below, a young lady reads from Fargo Rock City - don't feel bad, honey, we all have that much trouble reading Chuck Klosterman, it's OK.

Via.

It's so sad when someone so young has such a big drinking problem. Just look at her downing that beer: somebody can't hold their alcohol well. It looks like she's just missing the, ahem, support she needs. Maybe she just needs to get things off her chest.

Via.

How many sexy Dutch babes does it take to change a lightbulb? It...um...well, I don't know, the punchline is all in Netherlandish, but I'm not complaining because a hot blonde changes a lightbulb in high heels. How the high heels stayed on the lightbulb, I have no idea. Ha, I knew I could fit a shitty joke in somewhere.

More from this gallery >>

Usually the people who hop on a mechanical bull are way too drunk, they're holding on for dear life, and they fall in the most spectacularly undignified way. The babe in this video, however, knows that when things start rocking, your hips need to just go with the flow:

Watch the video >>

Holy fuck, I need to go to Home Depot right now. This two-minute long commercial for various power tools, as demonstrated by bikini-clad, oiled and sweaty babes, really gets my router...routing...or something like that. Turns out, it's just an extremely well done edit of a video for Benny Benassi's Satisfaction. Still, I think I might need to stop down at Home Depot for a few minutes, just to make sure:

Rammstein's video for Sonne takes the Snow White myth and turns it so, so very naughty -- Snow is a drug abuser, forcing the dwarves to mine her 'gold' while punishing them for their efforts. Hey, if the spanking part floats your boat, more power to you, but I'm all about Snow White in the bubble bath:Um, yeah, she's supposed to be dead, but we all know -- Snow White really isn't dead, she's just sleeping. Snow is played by Joulia Stepanova, "a Russian soap opera star," but that's all I can find on her; the Russians have enough spare time to fill my mailbox with spam, but not enough to post pictures of their soap opera stars. Some priorities.

Now, there's the Toxic video with the stewardess thing and the other stuff and the...well, I don't think I've ever watched the whole thing; but I do remember a nearly naked Britney! Here's the whole song, with just nearly-naked Britney. Oh, and it's got all the words. I hope they're not a distration.