Slut Math!
Slut shaming misses the math: slut shaming makes for less sex partners. This has been my mantra about the whole "women are pure, men can sleep around" - sex requires at least one woman, and one man. You can't get around that math. So, if half of all women are "sluts", that means each one has to have slept with two guys. Half women too much? OK, one out of every four fucks four guys. One out of every four is a lot: you've got two grandmas, that means odds are one of them is a slut, and that makes Baby Jesus cry. To get the odds down to a huge majority of women being non-sluts, but guys still getting a lot of sex, means that each slut is servicing hundreds, if not thousands of guys. They're fucking a different guy every single night of the week - morning noon and night, even! These noble women are ensuring that guys get as much sex as they want, while preserving the honor of all other women. Heroes, they are.
But, go back to Monday's post: 91% of women have premarital sex. Dude, sluts aren't the problem - skipping statistics class is.
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Code Babes!
Have trouble staying awake while learning how to program computers? Code Babes has the solution for you: they strip every time you get something right. It's like Billy Madison has come to life, complete with Steve Buscemi wearing lipstick! Or, I think so, I didn't actually sign up for the site, I'm not good with computers, let alone programming. Anyhow, this objectification has turned some people off, hence Code Dicks, a counter-website full of douche programmers (otherwise known as Experts-Exchange.com, amirite?) What I think both miss is: if a person is so comfortable with a computer that they want to code, they can reward their success with free internet porn anyway. Maybe the goal is to get 14-year olds behind a NetNanny firewall to learn computers, because the hope for a woman in bra and panties is a long ways from encouraging me to learn how to develop websites or SEO my CSS.
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Premarital Sex Normal!
Anyone who has actually thought about history knows this to be true, but I only recently found this study: premarital sex is normal. Ranging from between 75% to 91% -- 91% of women, that is -- have premarital sex.
So, let's look at this from an outsider perspective: back in the 1950s -- before Roe vs Wade, before the Pill, before online condom ordering -- people were having sex without being married. Look at old newspapers from the 19th century, all the stories of women whose dignity was 'sullied' by a man who didn't go through with the marriage...if people weren't doing it left and right, why would people have even imagined passing laws about cohabitation and sex outside of marriage?
The truth is, society has been doing just fine with everyone fucking all the time, married or not married. The democratic republic we're living in today was established by people who fucked each other when they barely knew what they were doing. Trying to pass laws that contradict the natural order of things has no effect.
Well, they do have an affect: they make people feel like shit for doing what their parents, and their parents' parents, and their great-great-great-etc grandparents did. OK, maybe grandma was one of that 9% that didn't fuck before marriage, but it can't be all of them.
So, before you get all "there's too much premarital sex, let's spread abstinence only!" get some fucking perspective: there has always been premarital sex, and the world has never fallen apart because of it. Focus on making sex safe and supported, and then maybe the world will be a little bit better of a place.
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Hustler In Congress!
It's no surprise that Larry Flynt uses his magical powers only to do good, and here's one example: Larry Flint has every new issue of Hustler mailed to every member of Congress. Congress, surprisingly, freaks out over the prospect of seeing boobs or a penis, and tried to get the mail to stop delivering it. The mail, unsurprisingly, said: "All we do with the stuff is deliver it, you handle your own mail how you like." Man, the perks of being in Congress are awesome!
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How Many Dildos!
Phone sex is like erotica, in that you can create totally unrealistic fantasies that would make sex a lot less sexy if you tried it. Like
this guy's fantasy of just shoving dildo after dildo into a woman's rectum. Humans aren't rubber duckies, a shapely shell with an empty volume inside - unless that's your kink, which is OK by me.
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Soapy Passat!
Usually, when there's a set of photos of a sexy woman washing a car, it's a Porche or Lamborghini or something, something fast and expensive and red. Lana Kendrick is more practical than that, slipping into her red swimsuit to soap up her Volkswagen Passat. Well, her tits get a little soapy, too, so sexy and smart is the perfect combination!
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Porn Star Coming Out!
Vox, which is rapidly becoming the best online magazine ever, has a fun article where pornstars describe coming out about their careers. The story of Stoya explaining to her grandmother about how Grandma's real name is Stoya's stage name is the best part, but seeing how pornstars relate to their jobs (see also) is less dramatic than you'd think.
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Porn Video Games!
People get their panties in a bind about GTA's "Hot Coffee" patch or nude mods for Skyrim, or even overtly-porny Japanese video games, but they're nothing new: there was a big market in pornographic Atari games in the eighties, in all their low-res glory. You might think they're lame, but back in those days, if you didn't have Atari porn, you were watching the scrambled Cinemax channel hoping to catch a glimpse of boobs: these games were miles better, if you could trick your parents into buying them for you.
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Whipped Cream Gal!
One of my first posts on this blog was about her, she's in my "Sex Sells" icon and on the 404 page - oh, and she's on one of the most-printed album cover ever. Dolores Erickson was a young model, pregnant and looking for work, when she agreed to pose for the album cover. Years later, millions of guys my age remember her as the cause of our nascent erections, trying to catch a glimpse of the album cover when mom and dad weren't looking. And, dare I say it, she's still sexy as hell, but them I'm a lot older now, too.
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Watching Her Own Porn!
WoodRocket - the people behind the "reading topless videos" - has added a new series: pornstars watching their own movies! If you ever wanted to see how the sausage feels about watching the sausage get made, here you go. One nice thing about WoodWocket's behind-the-scenes videos is that they really show pornstars as real people, with real jobs, that just do a lot of naked things for their paycheck. Sure, who wants to watch themselves at work anyway?
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Vagina Vagina Vagina!
Lab-grown vaginas are a truly amazing story of modern technology. If you think about it, that's a pretty big part of the body to just make from a person's own cells, implant it in the patient, and have it truly become a part of their body.
Now, I could just link to a story about the fact that we're living in the future, a scientific utopia where such things happen, but then I would miss linking to this lady. Newsreader Robin Baumgarten got the opportunity to tell her viewing audience about this amazing new technology... unfortunately she got hung up on the word "vagina".
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Vagina Names!
Take notice, reality stars, twelve-year-olds, and erotica writers: stop using these names for vaginas. I was surprised when va-jay-jay took off, because I didn't know anyone who actually watched Gray's Anatomy, but apparently it has stuck. The article is rather thin, certainly optimised for SEO and little else, but it's lovely to see so many in one place - and the video at the end actually is pretty good.
Note: many of the terms seem to be describing the vulva, not the vagina. They weren't being pedantic enough.
Porn Killing Religion!
Porn has finally found a practical application for making the world a better place! A fully-certified, licensed and bonded internet blogger has decided that, since the Internet usage has gone up a million-fold since 1990, and the internet has porn, therefore through the transitive property, the downward slide of church participation over that same time period is porn's fault. The math works out, people!
Well, for one, the increase in internet usage can only be a huge percentage, because the WWW didn't even exist before 1989. You might as well say the steady decline of the VCR and the tape cassette is the reason for the loss of religious faith today.
Next, conservatives blaming pornography for society's ills has been around a long, long time. Just watch that video, and ask yourself: if that were re-filmed, word-for-word, changing 'magazine' for 'website', would it surprise you today? The same rhetoric has been around since the 19th century -- If The Onion were published and shipped through the mail in its current form in the 1920s, they'd have been arrested for sending obscene matter through the mails. The presence of this material in easy reach today is a symptom of lessening moral confusion than it is the cause of it.
The problem is, you can't trust surveys about religious belief - people report how they wish they behaved. The fact that the self-reported religious belief is going down is simply that people are less afraid of seeming less religious.
The article I linked does make this connection, though, before going off the rails into correlation issues. The internet allows for communication and the spreading of free information, which allows people the opportunity to step outside the rigid restrictions of their close environment. This gives people an outlet where they can actually express their lack of religious feelings, rather than feeling pressure from all the people who are lying on religiousness surveys.
Sorry, pornography: I wish I could say you killed religion, but it turns out you're the symptom, not the cause. Just keep dressing this lady like a nun, and then undressing her like a nun, and then I won't complain.
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Real Guy Doll!
Sinthetics makes ultra-realistic sex dolls - better than the silkscreen printed face on your blowup doll, for sure - but one thing that sets them apart is the male sex dolls they make. Here's a bunch of pictures, enough to both creep you out and injure your masculinity. Oh, they don't just have erect penises - you can get 'em with flaccid penises, and, if you really want, you can stick a penis on a girl doll. No word on if you can stick a vagina into one of these guys - with the purchase option of "anal heat", the anus must be functional (as functional as people want in a sex doll), but the lack of vibrating penis options means that the ladies probably aren't the target audience for these rugged hunks. Oh, well, women will just have to keep fucking real people until somebody gets their act together and makes a plastic man that will lie there, immobile and indifferent, while you reverse-cowgirl him.
Body Wash!
I'm not sure if this is the best technique for getting yourself clean, but it certainly appeals to me! Start pouring the water over her shoulders, watch the bubbles slowly slide away...
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Eye Handy!
Eye Handy combines two of everyone's favorite things: around-the-house handyman skills, and sexy babes. I think it does an OK job, but I found a number of mistakes in this video. - No safety goggles. I can wave artistic license, but they should at least recommend it. Glass bits are worse than sawdust for eyes.
- She should have put a knot in the wire on the inside of the bottle; this prevents the wires from coming loose from the socket if the cord gets yanked. Also, a grommet to protect the cord from the sharp glass edges would be better.
- "If the light doesn't turn on, your have the wires backwards"? Wire direction prevents the socket from being 'live' even though the switch is off, lightbulbs light up either way.
- No mention of how the socket is mounted to the rest of the lamp; that's asking for the wire to get bent or twisted or otherwise compromised, or at the very least to cause the lampshade to randomly flop over sideways. In fact, nothing is really attached to anything else, aside from the stopper.
- They put the shade on underneath the socket; now the bulb is an extra couple inches higher. You can see when they turn it on that the bulb is almost sticking out of the top of the lampshade. That shade had a built-in mount that fits on the top of the light socket...if they bought the right kind of socket.
- Where's the light switch? If it's on the socket, the shade placement makes it difficult to get to.
PS: go watch this for better eyewear, ear protection and glove use.
Being A Suicide Girl!
Suicide Girls has been around more than a decade, not really a porn site, but far from clean-cut, and its edgy and model-driven photosets have created a world of its own - but have you wondered what it's like to be a Suicide Girl? Here's one person's story, which really isn't surprising at all: take naked pictures, get paid.
Babe Not Included!
Now this is the motherfucking definition of 'sex sells'. eBay seller "babenotincluded" has made it his business model to display all of his motorcycle parts being held by a nearly-naked women. God Bless America, people. Sadly, I've seen less brazen cases of this taken down by eBay for obscenity, so your chance to see the pictures may be a timed event. They're definitely worth seeing.
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Teens Invent Sex!
This just in: sex has been invented by the latest generation of humans. Until now, humans have reproduced via an asexual method of procreation which existed only in darkened rooms and did not require the participation of even the human releasing their reproductive spores. In this landmark event, "Millenials" have decided that young humans are actually quite equipped to have sexual encounters with whoever they feel like, when they want, but are discovering they are only moderately prepared for the emotional fortitude required to do it in a healthy way. This revelation has stunned - stunned - older generations, who never had sex their entire lives, and are certain there was never anything fun about sex. More on this breaking story as it transpires.
In all seriousness, though, when hasn't there been a shocking - shocking - look at the sexual habits of freshly-minted adults? Just consider every True Stories, Men's Adventure, Skin Mag, and CosmoWannabe from the past hundred years. Salacious views of "the changing landscape of sexuality" has been selling magazines for years, when, really, it comes down to an interesting fringe comprised of a social movement with hedonistic undertones ("hookup culture" versus "free love" versus "flappers") stoking the fears and jealousy of those not involved, while everyone else is pretty much just having sex whenever it becomes available. And so it goes, humanity.
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Sex Learnin!
Kelly Neff has been a sex educator for seven years, and nothing prepared her for these five truths. #1 is that there's no "normal", so the fact that you're sexually attracted to lawnchairs is perfectly fine, so stop losing sleep over it, dude. BTW: The woman below is not Kelly Neff, she just happens to be a naked sexy teacher, and is very pleasant to look at.
Porn Problems!
Conner Habib is a porn actor, stuck between the very visceral opinions of his career choice by those both disconnected, and very intimate with, his life. But the studies show! when they are wrong...or just simply not the issue at all.
