Domino Vs Zora

Years ago, I heard a segment on This American Life about a statuesque Amazonian bounty hunter named Zora, who had been planning her life as a super-spy since her teenage years. The story is extremely engaging: one reserved for comic-book heroines, but this one is real. She had to be one-of-a-kind, right? Or made up...women don't just decide they're going to enter the industry of mullet-haired men, do they?

Apparently, they's news is full of stories about a young woman named Domino -- a Ford model who tossed it all away to become a bounty hunter. She was found dead in the bathtub; no further explanation is given.

It's not like Alias started this: these women have been at work longer than the show has been around. I suppose you could point fingers at Barb Wire, VI Warshawski, Charlie's Angels, even Wonder Woman...but they're still 'fiction spies', not the real thing, actually endowed with superhuman abilities simply by being fictional. These two women are real, and they're doing something that's the domain of big-breasted comic-book heroines and movie stars.

I suppose it's only fitting that it comes full-circle: Domino, a movie based on the model's life is to be released later this year, and Jennifer Aniston is at work on a movie adaptation of Zora's story. And we wonder why people have such trouble differentiating between reality and fiction? The two cross over far too often these days.

Bits 'n' Pieces!

In an obviously staged story, KSDK-TV gets a parent's "reaction" to the presence of sexual themes in teen books today, such as in the book Rainbow Party (watch the Video; the text is missing relevant parts, like book titles). The only smart one is the female newscaster, who reminds everyone that it's their responsibility to watch what their kids are reading, but the tone of the rest of the article is outrage that a teen book section would have books on topics that teens obsess over...namely, sex. It's also quite clear the father in the story didn't actually read the book in question, instead reading a passage bookmarked for him to get naiively outraged over. Thanks, impartial media, for explaining this controvertial topic in an unbiased and thoughtful way!

The Denver Post discusses objectification of strippers with a panel of an oft-ignored group: an actor from a stage version of "The Full Monty", and two male strippers.

Bits 'n' Pieces!

What does Joel Stein do when he moves in across from the main office? He and his friend bake brownies, and realize just how totally lame they really are.

Men arrested for soliciting sex in New York are sent to "Johns School". Pearls of wisdom taught are "have a flashlight" and "imagine if your wife were a prostitute" (the latter sounds more like a bedroom game). One member of the class said that if he feels like straying from his wife of 43 years again, he'll find a girlfriend instead. Another classmate made sure to invite a female reporter to sit next to him. It's good to see these classes really do change men's nature! I had no idea showing videos of syphillis infections was so effective.

Five transgendered girls decided to cut corners on their body transformation, and instead went on the advice of a non-doctor who offered to inject silicone directly into their bodies. Whoops, who'da known that something would go horribly, horribly wrong at this so-called "silicone party"? Unfortunately, the non-doctor is still at large, while two of the customers are hovering near death.

Put some clothes on, whores! That's the tone of this article, by a woman who claims to have seen more breasts recently than David Hasselhoff. My question: how do you quantify the number of breasts seen by Hasselhoff lately?

Orgasms in women cause an interesting event in their brains: Many things turn off. While a lot of men would find this ripe for snide comments, I choose not to. I'm too nice for that.

Chinese Sex-Ed dolls are anatomically correct, and much comfier to snuggle with at night!

William Windsor lives his life as a little girl... While I can't object to his life choice, it seems unbelievably impractical. Oh, wait, he's got a lifelong trust fund -- go right ahead, mister! Again, proof that money can buy you whatever you want, even the ability to poop in a diaper all day long.

Pen Gillete and Paul Provenza filmed a huge part of the comedic world all telling the same joke, and made a film. While multiple comedians all telling the same joke might not be everyone's idea of a great time (as it might not if the joke were about chickens and roads), reviewers are all claiming The Aristocrats is the funniest thing ever. My problem with the film: I don't understand the joke. "The Aristocrats" is the punchline? Maybe the joke is more like chickens crossing roads than I thought.

The real problem in child porn has been caught: A guy who sells children's swimsuits from his home via the internet. No, he isn't photographing naked kid's genitals or children in sexual poses (both key indicators of child pornography, according to the law). No, he has photos of kids wearing a thong bathing suit on his website advertising the product, among photos of kids in other swimsuits. Fashion crimes may not be illegal, but I doubt this will ever stand up in court as a crime. Too bad the child advocates fighting child porn are diverting time and money into punishing this guy; there's plenty of kids in real peril and genuine sleazeballs out there creating child porn, that punishing some guy with a website showing completely clothed children is pure folly. I could go into the potential legal liability for parents who buy kiddythongs, swimming pools that allow kiddythongs, and government-owned swimming areas that allow kiddythongs, but it's too asinine to even think about.

And, speaking of teens and sex responsibility, Judy Blume's Forever is back with a new edition. Blume, in this interview, talks about what the book means today, 30 years after it's original publication, in the context of everything that's happened since 1975.

Parents are outraged that their kids would meet with their friends online and safely masturbate with each know, as opposed to the preferred method of having body-on-body sex with one another. A sex expert interviewed tries to reassure parents that kids rarely have virtual sex, so this is an anomaly and not to be worried about it. Way to go, parents! Rest assured, if your kids are acting out sexually (which they are, because that's what teens do), they're doing it in person, actually having sex with each other, instead of those naughty chats with their friends from school. Oh, and the parents who are outraged are, of course, exempt from any responsibility because they have no control over their kids' internet use, right? My God, people, do you hear yourselves?!? Cheers to the kids for naming the arrangement the "Safe Sex Club." Jeers to the one lame kid who recorded video of a girl masturbating and released it on the internet. Child pornography charges for you, bucko!

A UK soap opera innocently showed an unregistered domain name in an episode, and quickly found out how fast pornographers work: before the show's regular viewers could put down their cat and waddle to the computer, the domain name had already been registered and redirected to a porn site. I've wanted to do this many times after seeing a fake domain mentioned on The Simpsons or The Family Guy, but I waddle much too slow.

How to Get Your Husband to Slow Down and Caress Your Hair and Love Doing It: Detroit Free Press writer Susan Ager looks at alternatives to sex-manuals promising mind-blowing intercourse. Having given up on her own library of sex manuals, Ager talks of growing beyond the superficial desire for ultimate sexual gratification, hoping for a more mutual, friendly form of satisfaction. Oh no, she doesn't talk of giving up sex: instead she has taken notice of what fills the space between sexual escapades. Her imaginary happiness-manual title may just be The Joy of Not Even Touching.

Verbal sexual content on TV is more powerful than the visuals, according to a U of Michigan researcher. 2/3 of the respondents were women, which may be a big indicator in why the results were this way: women do prefer erotica and suggestive stories, where men like to see what's going on. It's still interesting to see this applied to prime-time TV shows like Friends, That 70s Show, and Dawson's Creek.

the '.xxx' domain is now a reality, and may be available as soon as this fall, for the awe-inspiring price of $60. High prices, no incentive to drop the .com domain might not take off as fast as people would like.

Condom ads come to prime time. It's kinda surprising, since no unmarried people have sex and all married people procreate without impedment -- who's their target market? Oh, wait...I caught a touch of orthodoxy for a second, but I'm feeling better now. Use condoms, people. They help prevent a lot of painful crap. Sidenote: these new commercials exclude Trojan Man and sexual innuendo. Thank you, Trojan, for ending the funny; it was annoying.

Asexuality is overlooked, but shouldn't be discounted as abnormal any more than homosexuality should. Think about the people you've, I can think of several people who had no interest in sexual relations with anyone.

Edie McLurg!

You all remember Edie McClurg as the busybody secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the neighbor on Small Wonder, and as the voice of a number of cartoon characters. I was surprised, when doing a little IMDB browsing, that her profile alludes to her lesbianism with the statement, "Longtime companion of columnist Liz Browning." While I totally respect this: she strikes me as a classy lesbian, if it is true, but when I searched for her name on the internet, I found that her name is on some list used by those randomly generated "nude celebrity pics" websites. ACME Girls has links to some of the other sites, which, sadly, do not actually have naked pictures of Edie McClurg., however, rates her body: her breasts are a 75, and her talent is an 86 ( a score on par with Bebe Neuwirth, Meg Tilly, and the mom on That 70s Show). As for her lesbianism, I could not find any further reference to it.

"Milked" doesn't have much to do with milk itself -- focusing more on boobies (which do not seem to be producing milk at the time, but could at some point). The site is full of visual experimentation: animated GIFs, flash animations, and 'stereo' images (called anaglyphs). Pleasantly, all contain breasts or a sex act. What better way to experiment with software, than to do it with something so pleasant as naked ladies?

If the animated boobies above aren't enough for you, the truthfully-named has pirated pretty much every boobie-bouncing animated GIF you've seen on everybody else's website, all on one page. I got so dizzy, I almost fell out of my chair.

Reflectoporn shows user-uploaded photos...self portraits, reflected in a shiny surface. Many are in mirrors, which offer a clear image, but others are in televisions, faucet taps, and an homage to the infamous "ebay kettle". Unregistered browsers only get a few photos; registered users can see more.

Holy crap -- a newspaper published a story calling for parents to act responsibly about their kids' online porn viewing? Amazing! They've actually got a lot of good information (although they jump to the 'seek professional help for your kid' a little too quickly for my likings, and refer to the kid always as male). If parents did these things first, who'd have a problem with online pornography? The "think of the children!" camp wouldn't have much to complain about.