See, I never find out about this stuff until after it happens. It seems that, over in Japan, last weekend you could donate money to a charity and then touch some boobs. The last time I went down to the Lions Club Pancake Breakfast they kicked my ass out for touching breasts, so charities must work differently in Japan. However, part of the festivities last weekend were a "masturbation marathon", so, in a sense, I did participate.

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Traci Lords is mostly known for being the mythical cause behind that conspicuous gap in your Penthouse collection, but she's moved up in life, and wants to talk about her current film career. This wholesome, June-Cleaver-esque story about a girl's coming-of-age story is called Excision. Also, she wants to be the Martha Stewart of Sex - but I thought that Martha Stewart was the Martha Stewart of Sex, but that might just be me being hopeful. Oh well. Plus: Lords is definitely a hot readhead. See below.

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I know, everybody loves Star Wars, but these outfits give me a weird boner. The Wampa and the Ewok, in particular; is this like, Lucasfilm furries or something? I suppose, if you've got too many cons to go to, and not enough sexy costumes, Etsy is the place to turn to fill your closet with all the ogling-generating outfits you can get.

Via.

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God damn, since fire departments have started allowing women join their ranks, firefighter calendars have gotten more sexier. Not that they weren't sexy before, but, damn, it's nice to look at fit, strong women, rather than fake-breasted bony babes that show up in car calendars. The Tuscon AZ Firefighter Association calendar for 2013 is available, in various forms, and ready for you to order. Show some support for a group that does some very hard work, and enjoy some T&A. A perfect combination!

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I got the new Maxim today, and I'll be damned if I didn't learn something from it. They've showed me the magic that is Bateflix, a compendium of all the available nude scenes in films available on Netflix. A finer use of an API I have never seen, although the interface and search engine need a bit of tweaking. Any which way, boobs, and that's all. By the way, the below image is a wordcloud of their search engine results, which means that rape and blowjobs rule the day. I'm not sure if that means there's more interest in rape and blowjobs, or that there's less movies with them and thus requiring more searching. I totally forgot, I'm thinking too hard about this: boobs.

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The animated GIF is the greatest invention for boob-lovers ever. They're short, focused, and they loop, over and over, until you've got tunnelvision and are completely hypnotized. Just like when you've got huge boobs and poor bra support and you're at a rave.

The project started in 1969, and for over 40 years Betty Tompkins has been painting huge close-up depictions of genitalia in the act of coupling, or touching, or having toy cows stacked upon them, you know, the usual stuff. In this interview, the artist sits down and talks about how, for a while, nobody wanted to look at her giant fucking close-ups. She was just waiting for the 21st century, it seems.

Via.