Vagina Kayak!
Remember that Japanese artist arrested for 3D data files of her vulva? Here's why she needed 3D vulva data in the first place - she has made a kayak which is shaped like her vulva, and while paddling it looks like she's coming out of the vagina. I'd say, "that's a weird reason to scan your vagina," but then I remembered this is Japan, and reminded myself I should never be surprised about Japan.
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Erotic Thoughts For Women!
Want to have more orgasms, ladies? This study says that women who are able to be more aware of their body, and have more erotic thoughts during sexual stimulation, have more orgasms. Most women, they say, are able to focus those erotic thoughts during masturbation, but those that fail to do the same during sex end up with more difficulty reaching orgasm. Those that are successful all around experience far more "erotological behaviors", which sounds far more clinical than "fantasizing about boning". So, loosen up, ladies: focus, fantasize, and go with the flow, and the orgasms will come naturally!
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Washing On The Farm!
She's just in from gardening, dirt on her hands and face, and decides to take a bath. You nod, but she lingers, making eye contact, raising that one eyebrow. You, realizing what's going on, immediately put down everything you were doing. You don't delay when she uses that eyebrow.
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Treasure Chests!
An intrepid redditor was snooping around his grandmother's house, and found this horrifyingly arousing calendar. Just so you know, photoshopping breasts on things isn't new, although back in the day you needed an airbrush to make these sorts of alterations to otherwise attractive ladies. The link below is to the 1971 edition; here's 1969's strange boobs. They were apparently related to a book by two guys named Mel Norman and Arthur Benwood - you can see the book here.
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Autoblow2 Reviewed!
Not too long ago, I brought you information on the Autoblow2. Brian Sloan, maker of the Autoblow2, saw my post and offered me a review sample of the new toy. How could I turn it down?
Weird Al Parody!
Woodrocket's on fire this week -- they have now released a Weird Al "UHF"-themed porn parody...so a parody of a parodist's feature film? It's almost so meta it burns. Anyhow, be prepared for weird boners, looking at boobs attached to someone with an 80s-era porn 'stache. I will note, however, that the sexy 'Stanley Spadowski' parody babe is the second time Michael Richards has been depicted in porn -- the first was Seinfeld XXX. That only makes this all weirder.
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Hobby Lobby Contraception!
Hey, ladies: you know, there's still ways to get contraception from Hobby Lobby: you just have to get creative with it. WoodRocket shows you how.
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Hands On A Hardbody!
When I think of "The Longest Handy Ever", I have PTSD flashbacks to an unlubed sexual experience in high school, but in THIS case a sex shop in Florida held a "hands on a hardbody" contest to win a goodie-bag of product. There wasn't a real penis involved - it was that blow-up penis the winner is so lovingly cuddling with in the pic below.
When I think of "finishing earlier than expected"...well, there's high-school flashbacks, too, but it also applies to the penis-touching contest. The Longest Handy Ever started at about 1pm in the X-Mart store in Gainesville, FL, but by two o'clock one contestant proposes everyone else drop out and she would share the sex toy goodies with the remaining competitors. Ah, when it comes to sex toys, cooperation always wins out in the end!
Tanya's Bubble Bath!
It's always nice to end a busy day with a bubble bath. Just soak in the hot water, let the bubbles tantalize your skin, close your eyes...oh, and bring a big pink vibe with. Heck, I'll even help with that last part if you ask nicely!
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Nylabone Dildo?
Excuse me, Nylabone, I'm not sure what you think I do with my pets, but this does not look like something I should be sharing with my dog. At 10", this is pretty close to actual sex-toy size, although it's probably hard as a rock...if you're into that sort of thing. It has been a long tradition that it's nearly impossible to tell them apart much of the time, which goes to show what dog-toy designers have on their mind most of the time. My new Kickstarter: hybrid dog/sex toys -- half the manufacturing process, since we reuse the same molds for both, just different packaging, we'll be brazillionaires!
Beach House Etiquette!
New York Mag assumes you have enough friends to rent a beach house with, and they're very concerned that you're going to fuck recklessly. So, if you do plan on boinking in a house where there's other couples about, take these tips to heart, lest you end up being the one to cook breakfast in the morning.
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Plunger Blow Job!
You'd think, by the time it passed her lips, she'd have realized that something wasn't quite right about that dude's cock. Maybe she's just really far-sighted and can't see anything directly underneath her nose, but the taste should have been a clue. Any which way, if the dude can hide his entire package in that plunger, she'll have more fun with the plunger anyhow.
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3D Vulva Arrest!
Don't tell Japan about 3d printed cocks, because they have obscenity laws which censor realistic depictions of genitalia, and it turns out that includes 3d-printer data of a woman's naked genitals. Now, if you know anything about 3D printed files, they're a whole lot of very unsexy data. But, since it could be fed into a 3D printer so that out pops a faithful rendition of artist Megumi Igarashi's vulva, that is a violation of the law. Sure, it's possible to view and render a 3D data file on the computer monitor, so it's probably not that far from the unsexy data contained in a compressed JPEG, but it just goes to show that, as technology improves, people try to find ever more creative ways to make it sexier.
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Ventriloquist Porn!
Veronica Chaos was a stripper with a desire to make something more for herself. She looked at the camgirl world, and found herself as a little fish in a big pond...until she applied her ventriloquism skills, and now she fucks puppets on cam for fun and profit. See, people, this is why my porn career hasn't taken off: a sorry lack of vaudeville talents. 
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Talk About Sex!
The Huffington Post has come up with 15 ways to talk about sex. It claims to be nothing more than random thoughts jotted down, and it reads that way, but the third on the list -- the "economic" method of communicating sexual needs -- made at least twelve Objectivists come in their pants. "We can reduce sexuality down to mere free-market transactions of mutual benefit? I'm finally going to get laid!"
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Women Like Hookups!
AskMen AskedWomen about hooking up via "dating" apps like Tinder. The result? Sometimes a gal just has to get laid. They make the statement that women's sex drives are just as strong as men's, but women self-report lower sexual activity due to social pressures. Don't worry, ladies, the social tide is turning: anti-slut-shaming movements are making it OK to be satisfied with getting laid whenever you feel like it!
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Mannequin Mammaries!
Here in America, mannequins seem stuck in the stick-thin, barely-boobs fashion model mold. Venezuela, however, knows what people like to see, so their mannequins have huge tits. I just hope they never match one of these torsos with these screaming/smiling heads, or it might turn me off women forever. Eh, nah, that'll never happen. Anyhow, don't feel bad, North America: they've been turning up in Miami, too.
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Casual Sex Is Good!
Think casual sex is a bad, bad thing? Not always, says scientists. General knowledge of the fact that lots of people have casual sex, and most grow up to be well-rounded doctors, lawyers, cowgirls, and baristas, would seem to indicate that fucking for fun is generally non-harmful - but this study says that, if done right, casual sex can be positive for self-esteem and satisfaction with life.
Yeah, the study emphasizes "done right", because it can sometimes have a negative effect...but since the 'good' or 'bad' is derived from the situation, and not the sex itself, the critical part is less "how long-term is this relationship?" and more "do I really want to bang this chick on a dirty couch just because I'm the only erect penis available?" Well, I might still lump the second example in "positive sexual experiences", but it doesn't take much to boost my self-esteem. So, ride 'em cowboy, have casual sex but check yourself to make sure it is a positive experience before you get too far into things.
kGoal: Kegel FitBit!
At first glance, it looks like a blue-rubbery hand grenade, but it's far more explosive than that: this piece of high-tech wizardry called the 'kGoal' is a Fitbit for your vagina. The high-tech Kickstarter project is a little biofeedback reader that gets inserted into the health-nut's vagina, and connects to a computer to track and measure how effective her Kegel exercises are. Kegels are actually really important for women's health, but without circuitry up there to measure what's happening, until now it's been hard to tell if Kegel exercises are doing anything. Now, with the kGoal, quantification of pelvic-muscle squeezes are finally being tracked and documented. Now, if they can only turn this into a video-game controller...
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A Grand Old Flag!
I'm not sure this is an appropriate way to display the flag, but it's right-side up, nobody's burning it and it isn't touching the ground, so I don't see any flaws....
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Italian Porn!
After looking at the Americas, how about some Italian porno? I'll have to admit, I didn't even recognize the Italian flag, but if you're looking for something specifically from the country that looks like a boot, watch for the little Italian flag.
Looking at foreign-language tube sites has opened my eyes a bit: OK, there's California's porn industry, and the Eastern European porn sources, and Japan has their own weird-ass porn universe, but if there's anything that's universal, it's people fucking on the internet. World peace? It's embodied in the universal appeal of amateur video online. I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony...
Amateur Porn!
Free amateur porn has revolutionized the internet, and not just because it has driven streaming and chat protocols. Porn generally can't partake in normal business advertising channels, so they had to get creative with how to get the word out. Free galleries started the process, letting other webmasters send referrers in hopes of getting a commission on any actual sale. The current version of this is tube sites, where everyone hopes to be called the best amateur porn video site and rake in their own affiliate sales. The industry is concerned that giving away too much for free is hurting sales, but the large number of profitable porn producers - and the fledgling amateur business - would show that business is still good.
Porn Language!
If Brazil wasn't to your taste, try an amateur porn site like Sex Sosas from a bit further north. It's like Rosetta Stone, but with more boobs: if you ever wanted to learn a language, they say you should immerse yourself in a way that interests you: what better incentive than figuring out Spanish porn titles? You'll know what porno tetonas means in no time! I'm sure there's enough fetishes that turn you off to make the Russian Roulette of foreign-language descriptions to further incentivise learning the language. The sex? That's pretty much done the same way no matter where you look, it's a cross-language universal form of communication.
Brazil Porn!
Not getting enough Brazil boobs just by watching the World Cup spectators on ESPN? Partake in some Videos Porno! Tanned skin, dark eyes, long legs, rolling rrrs, it's too bad The World Cup only comes around every...four years? Is that right? That seems too long to watch Brazilian babes bouncing in bikinis rooting for their favorite team. If you're looking for some true porno amadores, pursuing latina pornography is a perfectly respectable pasttime. Sure, I don't understand any Spanish or Portuguese, but, hey, the beautiful language isn't what I'm after. Just call me Rodrigo, roll those rrrs, and you'll have me wrapped around your finger.
Sports and Boobs!
The problem with women and sports is right under her nose: one in five are put off of exercising because it hurts their boobs. Of course, the story leads with the shocking part, because what that means is that boobs don't interfere with 80% of women's exercise regimen, and they're less likely to exercise because of lack of energy and lack of time, which, well, is the reason I don't get off my fat ass and exercise either.
Summer's here, and the time is right, for just going for a walk or something, everyone. Just getting off the couch is the hardest part, but once you start it's not so hard to keep going. Buy yourself a FitBit, or track down a free pedometer, and just go for a walk. Your boobs will thank you, because the rest of the body carrying them around will be healthier, and if you aren't exercising for your boob's sake, when what other reason do you have?
For that troubled 17% with boob problems, maybe fashion just hasn't caught up with women's health - maybe women should be wearing a sports bra like this young lady, and, voila, suddenly the bra isn't hurting the boobs anymore:
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Reading Topless!
The Outdoor Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society (previously) would like to remind you that summer's here, and the time is right, for getting naked and reading bad mystery novels.
So, you want to read pulp stories, but don't know where to go? PulpGen.com has a bunch of public domain tales to download, PulpMags has a bunch scanned and readable online, and Munseys.com is supposed to have a bunch but the site appears down at the moment.
Plus, this is an excuse to show this photo by Bill Wadman. I've never wanted to run my fingers down the spines of a shelffull of books more!
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