Turn The Sound On!
A North Wales man had been imprisoned for having a grossly obscene video of a woman having sex with a tiger. Oops, sorry, says the court, when they realize the video is humorous - nobody had listened to it with the sound on which would have helped explain the joke; I can completely understand, since watching porn with the sound on is an exercise in pain anyways. Were the video made for the purpose of sexual gratification, it would have violated all sorts of obscenity laws, but as a joke it was OK. Porn producers, take notes: adding knock-knock jokes or being dressed as a clown just might make your legal woes easier. Everything's fine when it's funny!
Kama Sutra Buddies!
If you've ever wondered what would be on a website called "My Kama Sutra Buddy", now's your chance: it lets you pick from a variety of potential sexual partners to act out various sexual positions. Sounds good? Go have a look and check back, let's see your answer then. If you say the first combination you picked wasn't the fat guy and the midget girl, you're a god-damned liar. Also, why no love for black guys? I'm sure they could have found a 300-pound black guy to rub his nipples - we've got one who hangs out at the grocery store, I think they can borrow him easily.
Jeans Better Than Sex!
According to a new survey, a third of women fantasize about fitting into their sexy jeans more than getting fucked by George Clooney. Granted, the study was done by Special K, whose business model has a little more to do with being fat than banging Clooney, so the results might be a little skewed. Real honest-to-god science, however, is done by testing both outcomes, alongside a placebo -- so you need a test group that gets to fit in their jeans, a test group that gets to fuck George Clooney, and a placebo group that gets neither (or gets a poor replacement, like ill-fitting jeans and the chance to fuck Shadoe Stevens) and then see which the women like more. I'm-a thinking the Clooney cock will win out in the end (I'm sure Clooney would think so, too), but in the imaginations of SpecialK-eating women who answer surveys, those jeans have a leg up.
Tits Barometer!
When your meteorological equipment just isn't nippley enough, what are you to do? ZOO Magazine has a replacement dial for your barometer. Sorry, that's not a euphemism, but it does have pictures of boobs, so it's got that going for it. I'm no weatherman, but I don't have a problem with the weather getting "winter coat with a chance of bikini bottoms" any time soon, but I'm going to have to wait a few months before my needle starts pointing towards "topless and goofy".
Grandpa's Porn!
GB Turner's grandpa was a pornographer in the olden days - grandma ran the store, while he took photos of nude girls in the back. It doesn't say if these ever appeared anywhere else, but who can argue with the opportunity to gaze longingly at cheesecake nudies? Note: Flickr makes you sign in before you can see them.
More Cosmo Fail!
Does Cosmo really have an entire book of these? Dude, the number of injuries must be epic. Anyhow, here's the newest one - some from-behind position. When I'm erect, there's no way my dick is going to point downward, but, hey, I'm sure it's possible - still, the guy is way too high, the best he can do here is fuck her in the ass. Again, possible, but still a far from ideal position for such things. I'm beginning to think Cosmo's illustrator thinks a penis sticks out as though the vagina were turned inside out like a pocket - straight down, anchored right in front of the anus. Creepy, yes, but most of Cosmo's positions line up the bottom of the crotch with her vagina, like he's got a double-ended dildo sticking out of his vagina and the other end is positionable within a 180-degree radius.Anyhow, the dick and either hole aren't going to line up - note that the outside of his right hip is against the inside of her right thigh, which puts his penis at least the thickness of his leg to the left of her cunt. In the instructions, it says the guy sits right behind your buns - whatever that means - and as he rocks back and forth, you close your thighs? With your legs straight out behind you? That's like trying to be fucked while standing, knees locked and together. Again, maybe this is intended to trick women into anal, but I don't think that's Cosmo's intention. Lastly, although it doesn't affect the coitus itself, but do you know anybody whose back can make a 90-degree turn backwards right at the shoulderblades? That's some excellent yoga shit right there, let me tell you.
More from this gallery >>
Sex Sells Crap!
Huh - who knew? resorting to a sexy ad means your product is no better than the other crap for sale out there. The article does make the distinction between regular crap and a "sexy" product, so my guess is, if something's supposed to get you laid (like clothes, Axe body spray, and liquor), a sexy ad is to be expected - but advertising meat with flesh is a sign your product isn't worth a damn. But you know what? Selling sex still works - for god's sakes, chicks in burger bikinis totally fucking rocks, nobody can say it didn't remind people that their shitty burgers still exist.
She Loves Porn!
She quit porn because she loves it - I'm not sure I get her reasoning, but the article is an excellent look at a certain facet of the porn industry. I can totally understand the dealings with Eastern European models via digital images - not going to spoil anyone's fantasies by giving more info, but I have bought custom content like this for a porn site, and, really, the idea of creepy, manipulative porn is becoming a rarity these days. Professional, willing models who get paid well for their services is far more common.
God = Best Fuck Ever!
As if Christmas isn't hard enough for Christians to deal with - what with all the gift-buying that God requires - now they've got to be offended. And by a church no less! A New Zealand church has put out an ad which hints that God is a better lay than mere mortals. No shit, Sherlock - but not just anyone can be fucked by God; Mary was the Immaculate Conception, so only the hard, throbbing cock of the Christian God is good enough for her pussy. It's no wonder Jesus didn't have any other brothers or sisters; it's like trying to concieve with Supergirl or something. 
Not Slutty Kennedy!
TMZ had the big EXCLUSIVE scoop - JFK frolicked around naked women in the Mediterranean! Er, oh wait - some guy who looked sorta like Kennedy was in a Playboy photoshoot and some pranksters sold it to TMZ with a huge bogus backstory! The photo was verified as the real JFK by forensic experts, which shows just how much bullshit they can come up with if you pay them for their corroboration. On the other hand - it's an excuse to look at vintage tits, so enjoy.
Fucking Gnomes!
Gnomes are creepy to begin with. I mean, look at that Travelocity thing - he's shaped like a dildo, travels the world, but can't work a foreign electrical outlet properly. Creepy. Manofest has upped the creepy factor by hosting a gallery of sexualized gnomes. Some are regular nomes posed in unfortunate ways, but some are, quite clearly, designed to be naked or fucking or what-have-you. Just think about it: some artist actually carved a tiny statue of a misproportioned gnome with huge tits. Now that's a job that's going to put you on the psychiatrist's couch after too long. 
Sex Addiction = Bullshit!
With all this Tiger Woods and David Duchovny and 80-Something Indian Politician in the news, sex addiction treatment is all the rage. Too bad it's all bullshit. Doctors can't diagnose sex addiction, because it's not a DSM-approved disease (and, really, most sex-related psychiatric diseases were tossed out years ago), and falls more under the realm of a non-addiction compulsion, something like OCD or impulsivity limitations. Sex addiction is a case of treating the symptoms - the sex - and not treating the actual impulsive drive which is more likely to be the clinically-treatable issue. So, try this, Discovery Channel, here's a new TV show idea: take all the compulsives - the hoarders and the shopaholics and the sex addicts - and put them in a single house together, with Dr Drew, Dr Sanjay Gupta, the Charm School asshole, and toss in the team from Ghost Hunters International just for fun, and you'll have the greatest exploitative show in the history of television.
Swedish Lesbians!
Swedish women may be looking online for sex, but a new study shows they're also not looking any further than their sorority roommates. Swedish women are more likely to engage in lesbian activities, regardless of their professed sexuality. The study attributes it to a greater societal tolerance of lesbian activities - fucking duh - and, dude, have you seen how hot Swedish women are? They can't help but fuck each other they're so gorgeous.
Premature Ejection!
This is one of the greatest Christmas stories ever, and I picked this link because of its awesome headline: "After sex sting, AP governor Tiwari ejects prematurely". First of all, a political sex scandal isn't completely unusual, but add in that this was a FFFM foursome, you gotta congratulate the guy, and then add that they guy's an octogenarian, you'll want to hop on a plane just to shake his fucking hand. Sure, a politician shouldn't be cheating on his wife, but, jesus christ, give some respect where respect is due: the opportunity to have three naked women writhing on your body isn't something that's easily turned down. Just leave the video camera turned off, though.
No Joking!
Cosmo would like you to know what not to joke about with your guy. Penis size, his income, his mom - really, ladies, if you need to be told this stuff, you've either never had a male friend before, or you're a contestant on Tough Love. The list is also woefully incomplete: I'd like to add "don't joke about your boyfriend's sex dreams, in which they are having gay sex with male characters from TV shows." I mean, I hear people have gay sex dreams sometimes. It doesn't mean they're gay, it's just a dream they have. Somewhere, somebody. I don't know. STOP PRYING INTO MY PERSONAL LIFE. Anyways, yeah, those jokes are off limits, too.
Homemade Sex Doll!
Dear god, gentlemen, don't try this at home. making your own sex toy is a recipe for tragedy. The tragedy is, when somebody else finds it, then uploads photos to the internet. The design is, of course, genius: check out how the elbows and knees are articulated like a sock monkey. Plus, without bones, she can perform positions only Cosmo graphics designers can think of. I mean, who doesn't like fucking a lifeless sock monkey? I can only hope this is a transitional toy - soon, Cliff will have enough money saved up to buy those disembodied hips-and-ass sex toys, and then something with hips and tits, and so forth, like he's levelling-up in some twisted penis-focused video game. Only 10,000 more points and he can add a navel! While I can't make out the face he's chosen to tape on the head, I'm pretty certain it's 1970s-era Candice Bergen. What the guy lacks in masking-tape dollmaking skills, he makes up for in taste. Sorta. UPDATE: this is the source of the unimaginable horror of the homemade sex doll.
She Got Legs!
Scientists have put their efforts to good use and determined middling-sized legs are the most attractive. Out of proportion in either direction - not just short, but long, too, I'm looking at you, Rob Liefeld - and the attractiveness goes down. What's average length? I'm not sure, but grandpa always said it was when the legs were long enough to touch the floor. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Gay Marriage OK in Mexico!
The mayor of Mexico City is expected to sign a law which will legalize gay marriage in Mexico City. Here's a lesson to you, California, Maine, and whoever else has voted down gay marriage: Mexico City is more socially progressive than you. The capitol of one of the biggest Catholic countries is more open-minded than your bullshit. More and more the rest of the world proves that evangelical conservatism's circle of influence is so much smaller than they'd like you to believe. Still, this will prove to be an asset: what could be a better honeymoon than to travel someplace warm to get married; Iowa and DC aren't exactly the nicest places to go get married. Cheap tequila, sunny days, freedom for people to get married: Mexico is sounding nicer and nicer as the days go by.
Artistic Men: Happier!
Norway - a country touching the arctic circle and otherwise the most depressing place on the planet - has produced a study which shows artistic men are happier than their uncreative counterparts. Do you paint, partake in the opera, or write dirty limericks? Congratulations, you're less likely to be a depressed Norwegian than your lamer counterparts.
Dogma of Lust!
New hedonism is making the world awesome, according to Pascal Bruckner of Open The Magazine. Like most moral conservatives, their arguments of why lax morality is bad sounds totally great to everybody else. It's OK to be a slut, wave your leather-fetish banner, masturbate in excess! Just consider the phrase: "A new human species has emerged âÂÂ
Gnome Tits!
I've got to get back to work so I don't have time to post a picture, but, really, I'm not sure I want to. Garden gnomes are a pure and gentle tradition, and, please tell me, why do they need naked tits? Oh, gnomes, you've fallen so far, it's only a matter of time before the porn happens.
Demon Penis!
I love how descriptive ratings are getting; when I was a kid, it was just G, PG, and R - now, your favorite TV shows have long descriptions of the vices of which you are about to see. Take, for instance, the new Dante's Inferno game, based on a popular medieval satirical allegory of a poet visiting another poet in the Grecian underworld and seeing various public figures who ended up in the Inferno for acts perpetrated on Earth. Sounds like a good background for a first-person shooter, am I right? The new Inferno allows you to kick ass and take names in the vernacular - plus, the ESRB wants to warn you, there's one demon whose "...penis [is] visible during the flying and fire-spewing..." Surely, a game whose box description includes a scale of violence which was previously unknown in early Italian literature, should turn parents off to buy it for their impressionable children, but - the horrors - there better be a warning if there's a demonic cock involved. Oh, and the breasts: if you're willing to put up with the cock and the blood, there's apparently a whoreload of tits to be seen in the game, including the physics-applied bouncing boobs of a King-Kong sized Cleopatra. Saints alive, Virgil never knew what he was getting into when he agreed to guide Dante through Hell!
Gay Destroys Innocence!
People have drawn the line: teachers, don't you dare talk about loving relationships with your students! A teacher mentioned to her class that she was going to marry her lesbian partner, and thus stripped the innocence of every first-grade victim in the room. The act of sexual copulation is the complainers' argument, because sex shouldn't be taught until the Fifth Grade, because that's when kids ask about how babies are made(?!?) However, lesbians can't make babies with their sexual rubbing, so I don't see what the problem is; however, daddy putting his throbbing cock into mommy's cunt does, so the only option appears to be that men are to be forced to live apart from their wives until kids reach the fifth grade, at which time their marriage can be admitted to the world without stripping the innocence away from their children. The heterosexual sex implied by heterosexual marriage is, in fact, far more damaging than the homosexual sex implied by homosexual marriage, and, really - the implications of admitting your sexuality by marrying somebody is the most damaging social flaw we have today. Won't somebody please think of the children and end the perversion of marriage before it destroys any more innocence?
Sex-Positive Groupware!
Sure, I'm on Facebook and MySpace, which means my mom and my sisters and my inlaws and a couple of the gals from up front at work who insisted, and, strangely, nearly every one of my ex-girlfriends - which means friending Libby or favoriting the stripclub or any number of pornstars I email with, well, those two circles can't intersect without causing trouble. So, where do I go to friend my slutty buddies? GoodVibes thinks Black Box Republic is a good option - I tried to go register, but it cost money; I know it keeps out the riff-raff, which makes me think it's way more datey than a social network, but your mileage may vary, so check it out - Good Vibrations doesn't usually steer people wrong.
Snuggie Retro!
The seventies were fucking awesome - this whole Snuggie shit is a cheap replacement for what we had back in the seventies. The Bundler were full-body fleece onesies for adults, like the ones I wore when I was 5. Mine had shitty plastic feet that slid around on the linoleum, but if these Bundlers had that, I totally wish my mom bought these and put them in a time capsule for me to unearth today and slide around on the kitchen floor for a few hours. The only problem: there's no feasible way to fuck while wearing a Bundler. Hell, there's no easy way to use the bathroom in one. No wonder they didn't last. 
Fetish Dog Mask!
Fetish stuff usually scares the shit out of me, but this is oddly beautiful: a leather fetish mask designed to look like a great dane or something. Yes, in that bottom picture, there's a removable bite-gag built into the mask. I gotta stop thinking about it anymore, it's giving me the creeps. 
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Burger King Bikini Bath!
Burger King's commercials might seem fucked up here in the US, but they are totally awesome overseas. BK breakfast items are currently being marketed in the UK by a woman singing in the shower. Sadly, she wears a bikini (sometimes the bikini has burgers on the tits, which is a reasonable alternative), but - damn - I want to totally nibble her McMuffin. My Flash was acting up, so I can't tell if you can see historical videos - if the King costume ever shows up, this will become the greatest thing on the internet. Tits, food, embarassing video, costumes, and user voting are a perfect storm of awesomeness.
Fap Mapper!
Oh, for fuck's sake, everybody is taking this way too seriously: FapMapper is a phone app that lets you map the places you've masturbated. The only entertainment value in this is in the fact that it's totally a hoax. Come on: if there were any sexual gratification in such a thing, an app like this would have been out years ago, and there would be chat. This thing's entertainment value is to go, "gross, people masturbate in my town?" Let me tell you, mister: there's a toilet in that sorority over there, and the college chicks do unspeakable things in it. FapMapper is for the gross fun of browsing a map, looking at the stupid made-up reasons somebody thought would be funny to say they wanked. Do note, though, that FapMapper is from PinkVisual, a fine adult entertainment company, and while the map is full of little FapIcons, it's also got a bunch of little PinkVisual icons to helpfully let you know where to buy their products. Fucking successful advertising campaign: got me to talk about how stupid it is for a couple hundred words. Use it to find adult bookstores; screw the masturbation shit.
Converse Boots!
I love Converses, I love OD jungle boots, and now you can get all in one with these fancy-shmansy Converse jungle boots. For the price, I'd stay the fuck away from mudpuddles with them, but they look like they're for tromping through the underbrush. 
What You Drink!
Most online lists are shit, but this one made me laugh out loud, so here it is: what your liquor of choice says about you. Wild Turkey: I am our 23rd President, Andrew Jackson. History jokes are the fucking bomb. Don't encourage them, though: online lists suck, seriously.
No Fornication!
In district 66 - a big-city, liberal-ass, Hamline-college-including district - here in Minnesota, the state senator is pushing her agenda: she wants to repeal a law that makes it illegal for women to have sex outside of marriage or to cheat on a husband. Those damn big-city Minnesotans and their progressive ways, promoting freedom for her constituents! Didn't she just see the statistics that how much harm premarital sex causes to Minnesota teens? Note that the law only focuses on women's sexuality, as an archaic relic of territory days, but what's good for 1840s Minnesota is good for 2010s Minnesota, so within a few hours all running water, sewage treatment, and electricity will be turned off for everybody except District 66 - but at least their women won't be having sex without permission from the church. Equality of the sexes is the goal of the presumably progressive, liberal Minnesota Family Council, who wants to push their policy of equality and fairness by adding men to the law. That sort of equality won't stand with the public: conservatives won't abide by men being controlled by morality laws; that's unheard of! So, at least given the Minnesota Family Council's obvious bid to get the law repealed, I'm sure the stupid morality law will go, and I can finally start fucking Gracie without pulling the drapes - we've been living in sin for 3 or 4 years, and any day now the cops are going to show up if this law stays on the books.
Cosmo Anatomy Analysis!
This time, Cosmo does a bit better than previous attempts at proper anatomy. My first kudos: the penis and vagina actually line up! Most sexual artists agree that penis/vagina cooperation is rarely required in pornographic art, just an afterthought for the most part, so Cosmo has gone above and beyond to show people actually fucking in a drawing of people fucking. In order to do so, they either had to shrink their male fucker down to about 5' 1", or grow their woman up to 6' tall. Certainly, I'm not opposed to either Amazon fucking or shorty fucking, but considering your usual height difference, that pose won't work. The 'fun' of this pose, according to Cosmo, is to "Stand beside a soft-spraying sprinkler and bend over so the water hits your genitals.". Hey, graphic artist: do you know where a woman's genitals are? No, tits aren't genitals. Lots of fun, but no, they aren't genitals. The red circle in my diagram depicts the position of the clitoris, the funnest place to spray water, which is sandwiched between their hips. And, Jesus, Cosmo, did your parents never let you run through a sprinkler when you were a child? Sprinklers are designed to spray water everywhere - one that sprays in a focused beam is going to get thrown away pretty quick. My guess is it's spinning, so after it's done soaking the 'genitals' in her belly-button, it's going to spin around and get her full in the face, filling her upside-down nostrils with cold hose-water. Hey, if Amazons are into that, who am I to judge. Oh, wait - they actually suggest that - "Instead of keeping the sprinkler on the stationary setting, switch it to rotate so you get a bliss-inducing blast all over your body." I've only got one kind of bliss-inducing face-spray, and it involves my cock; what Cosmo's suggesting is waterboarding your lover.
The entire 'article' >>
Casual Sex OK!
The word is finally in: casual sex isn't harmful emotionally. Not only that, but the information comes from a survey here in Minnesota, and if you know anything about Minnesota, it's that the entire state is a 24/7 fucking orgy around here. The study found that people's emotional state was the same whether they fucked a committed partner or a casual acquaintance, and warned that disease and pregnancy are a much bigger risk, but fucking itself is a happy thing to do.
Male Hookers!
Why haven't there been legal male prostitutes in Nevada all these years? It appears to have been a bureaucratic limitation in disease testing, but no more: The state of Nevada has approved male testing, so brothels are now hiring guy prostitutes. The approved test is a 'urethral swab', which makes me cross my legs involuntary, but, hey, if it's your job, you've gotta go with it. So, economy got you down? Porn just not paying the way it used to? Go live in luxury, fucking other people for money - Nevada has your back, man-whores!
Gay Calendar!
What, you think you don't need a gay calendar? Up north and across the river in Grand Forks, ND, they've got a civil rights activist named Zack, who has fallen on hard times which has made it difficult for him to protest the conservative religious assholes who want to take freedoms away. So, buy a Zack calendar, and he'll get money from the sale, which will help him get back up on his feet protesting assholes again. Protesting assholes is such a worthy cause that you can deal with a 12-month gay calendar. 
New Female Condom!
Hey, ladies: you know that uncomfortable, difficult female condom that's been out for a few years? There's a new and improved version out, just in time for all the World AIDS Day coverage to have sunk in a bit. The news talked a lot about how condom use is still a difficult hurdle, despite the fact that people are more likely to fuck if there's protection. Use condoms, fuck more, everybody's happy, and this new female condom looks like it'll definitely help.
Crappy Covers!
We all knew that Chris Brown's album cover sucked, but who knew there were so many other shitty album covers this year? Not me - and once everybody starts pirating MP3s, there'll be no further need for 'album' covers. I guess DJs will still need something to hang behind their booth from alligator clips, so there will still probably be shitty album covers for a few more years.
Free Sex In Germany!
Planning your trip to Denmark for the climate summit? Don't forget to schedule lots of time for whores! Copenhagen hookers have offered free 'services' for people attending the conference, as a big 'fuck you' after the mayor of Copenhagen warned hotels and tourists to avoid patronizing the local prostitutes. I am also very disappointed to find out that "Gropenhagen" is a pun, and not an actual place; I would totally move there and set up a naughty website.
Harvard Porn!
Harvard, the Booger of the ivy league colleges, has announced the return of their university porn magazine. "Diamond" includes not only nude women, but naked pictures of the male founder. If only Hef had introduced this feature to his magazines, Playboy would be a huge media empire today. Anyhow, the digital version is $9, the paper version is $30(?!?) which means that it'll be a collector's edition someday. Stock up now!
Smart = Horny!
Want to get laid? Ask her about the last book she read. Stupid women have higher risk of sexual dysfunction, while intelligent women are easier aroused. Just my own previous experience could have proven that: college educated, hot in the sack; no college, meh, kinda crazy; dropped out of high school to join the military: dear god it's a wonder it didn't turn me gay. OK, turning gay doesn't really happen, but she nearly turned me off women altogether. Mine might be a small sampling, but the experts agree - fuck college-educated women, you'll enjoy it more.
Porn Ruins Study!
Researchers in the UK want to study men who haven't been exposed to hardcore pornography. That, unfortunately, is impossible: everyone they found had been exposed to porn in their life. Kinda like finding a virgin on her wedding night, amirite? They decided to study actual porn use, and found that single guys used porn about 4 times as much as married blokes, and guys were as young as 10 when first exposed -- but they quickly discarded stuff they found offensive, which the study says is a good sign that porn doesn't damage men, damaged men prefer icky porn. While the study didn't get to gauge the gap between non-pornified men and their pervert brethren, they did find some important things out, and I hope, someday, they find that rural, blind man who has never thought about sex in his entire life.
Eco-Friendly Fuck Machine!
See, folks, this is why smart guys like me hung out in the art wing at college: art students think about fucking all day long, and aren't afraid to act on it. Take this art installation, which proudly displays a fake penis: It's a fucking machine that's powered by a water wheel. So, not only is she bent over being fucked by a nine-foot-tall wooden machine, she's being splashed with water, her damp hair sticking to her shiny slick skin as she moans in ecstacy with each of the machine's thrusts. Sadly, the machine is still a virgin; no women have come forward to volunteer to take all ten inches of rubber waterwheel cock - something I find surprising given all the art school girls around.
Porn = Pedicure!
You ladies think you need to leave the house and spend a hundred bucks to get pampered? Guys have figured out how to do it themselves: taking a timeout for a few minutes of porn and an orgasm is like a day spa wrapped in a few minutes. They repeat what I've been saying for a long time: masturbation is awesome, and is no threat to a sexual relationship. Being an asshole is, so don't be an asshole about masturbating, but if a guy has several orgasms in a day, and some of those include his partner, the world is a better place, even if his nails aren't done and he still has that knot in his back.
Pornamis and Pornquakes!
The Emperor of Indonesia has discovered the source of all their woes: the availability of cheap porn has caused deadly earthquakes, tsunamis, the world economic collapse, three hundred fifty thousand cases of spontaneous limbectomies, the popularity of Ben Stein, and at least four alien invasions. While he didn't say all of those, a high percentage were. The minister warns: because we haven't done anything about porn, the natural disasters will continue, because science has recently proven that plate tectonics has long been driven by photographs of tits and fucking. It's sure a good thing that Indonesia's "Communication and Information Minister" is so well-informed.
Creepy Sex Toys!
The Frisky has a list of the creepiest sex toys ever known. Hello Kitty vibe? Eh, been seeing it for years. Face dildos? I can see a reason for those. Real Dolls? I don't know who that chick in the picture is, but I'd fuck her in a heartbeat; what's a realdoll? You know what's the creepiest sex toy ever? The one you find in your mom's sock drawer. Nightmares for life.
