You need to realize, ladies: if you show your boobs in public and post a video online, you're probably going to get caught. First it was a church, and now someone named Kendra Sunderland posted a video of herself baring her breasts in the Oregon State University library on the internet, and -- who knew? -- somebody recognized both her and where she was at, put two and two together, and now she was arrested for being too sexy for school. There's some insinuation that she didn't actually distribute the film, it looks like she's just camming with someone, but any which way it should be no surprise that the video ended up viewable by everyone. Most of the news articles I saw said she was masturbating, and I didn't watch the entire video, but there didn't seem to be enough self-touching to count as 'masturbation', but then again one source was Cosmo, whose masturbation knowledge is generally suspect, and OSU students who are surprised that this is, of course, the first time in the history of everything that somebody bared their tits in that library.

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A textbook has been withdrawn from circulation because what appears to be cheap stock photography was probably much more expensive than that: one "teacher" is actually a screenshot from cosplay pornography. No, it's not the girl with pigtails, but that was my first guess, too. The woman at the bottom is Mana Aoki, who, as far as can be determined, has never taught mathematics in a professional setting.

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The Outdoor Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Appreciation Society (previously) would like to remind you that summer's here, and the time is right, for getting naked and reading bad mystery novels.

So, you want to read pulp stories, but don't know where to go? PulpGen.com has a bunch of public domain tales to download, PulpMags has a bunch scanned and readable online, and Munseys.com is supposed to have a bunch but the site appears down at the moment.

Plus, this is an excuse to show this photo by Bill Wadman. I've never wanted to run my fingers down the spines of a shelffull of books more!

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Society trains little girls to hope to be princesses and mothers, STEM education hopes they'll be engineers and engineers (the math kind and the train kind), but sometimes little girls want to grow up to be porn stars. Asa Akira is one of the latter: in her memoir Insatiable: Porn - a Love Story, Asa tells how she went from a good home and happy family to being a porn star. No, that's no spiral downward: if we know anything, it's that porn stars are generally well-rounded, and Asa Akira proves that in her book.

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Writer Robert Haagsma has put together a coffee-table book for lovers of vinyl. Called Passion For Vinyl, Haagsma has compiled photos, trivia, and interviews with Henry Rollins and a bunch of northern-european names. Sorry, I'm not quite culturally literate to know them all -- which is why I need this book, right? Doesn't seem to be available in the U.S. (maybe here?), so sorry Secret Santa, you're going to come up short this year I guess. It comes with a 45rpm 7" single, which slips into the book cover, making it the most epic liner notes ever.

William Nicholson, one of the contenders for the worst sex-writer in the world, laments that if there's a "Bad Sex Award", why not also offer a "Good Sex Award"? I'm all for that, although the Bad Sex contenders are more fun to read in mixed company. The Good Sex Award would definitely open up the erotica world to everyone, and it's highly unlikely Cosmo would ever win it, so it's got that going for it.

Ever wonder what deaf people are saying in deaf people porn? What, don't you watch a lot of deaf porn? You should, really. Anyways, Topless Robot has brought to my attention an aspiring author decided to write a book of sign language swear words. Well, other than the one depicted below, which I understand because I get it alot from both hearing and non-hearing women. The book is called "Super Smutty Sign Language", and is a must for anyone who wants to learn how to call a deaf person 'sugar tits'.

The Frisky asks: what piece of literature made you want to masturbate to fruition? For me, it was the Joy of Sex, which came out while I was a fresh-faced 13-year-old who found this odd encyclopedia of sex terms, an Urban Dictionary for the seventies so to speak, completely arousing, even though the hairy guy in the pictures was a bit offputting. How'd I get my hands on it? Babysitting periodically for a single-mother who worked at the hospital with my mom; it wasn't really all that hidden, and I was a snooper. Yeah, it's hardly literature in the context The Frisky was looking for, but everything else I read was comic books or pulpy scifi, and all lacked much more than the barest hint of sexual expression.

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I've had so many book-related posts lately that I practically need a header image for you. None of these are totally nude, but they're definitely sexy and NSFW, and they're so into their books that you'd hate to interrupt the pretty lady, so you just masturbate in the corner until she's finished with that chapter.

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One girl giving two guys a blowjob at the same time? A foursome with the guys facing each other? Those were totally invented by Brazzers, a product of modern super-offensive pornography, right?

Bzzzt, wrong. It's the product of artsy Enlightenment and Victorian artists, who sit around thinking of sex when they're supposed to be illustrating books. Like these ones: sure, they're supposed to make an illustrated alphabet for adults, but let's go really adult, some Russian artist from the early 20th century decided. Don't get too excited about it being a product of our century - sexy letters go back hundreds of years and cover much of the world. Well, not China or Japan I suppose: artists trying to make erotic alphabets of the complex eastern symbolic languages went insane from the undertaking.

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If you missed Read Naked Day (or were simply naked with nothing to read), this publisher has a series of scholarly books on some of the nastiest shit you can imagine. Sorry, they're not real books, but the fact that someone can imagine it doesn't mean it won't really exist someday. Right now, out there, some lazy anthropology PhD candidate is finding his subject of study somewhere in this website.

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So, despite last night's fireworks you still have all your fingers and you didn't fall into a bonfire or die of alcohol poisoning, so what do you do today on the 5th? Read Naked Day, that's who! Sure, all their photos are of sexy ladies reading profound books, but just picture 40-something naked guy me, 20 pounds overweight, reading Salem's Lot for the twelfth time and then you'll really understand what this holiday means.

Similar to this - if you ever wanted to see what it was like to watch a woman struggle to do something intellectual while bring brought to orgasm, here's your chance: Clayton Cubitt has filmed sexy women trying to read a book out loud while sitting on a vibrator. Too bad they don't get very far; Clockwork Orange is one of my favorites.

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Is there nothing more adorable than this? Two of my favorite things get put together, like peanut butter and chocolate, or Volkswagens with tank treads. Topless Girls Reading Books is a thing now, and it makes me sad that it took this long. Below, a young lady reads from Fargo Rock City - don't feel bad, honey, we all have that much trouble reading Chuck Klosterman, it's OK.

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Sailor Jerry is a legendary tattoo artist, and there's a book out now. I've never heard of him, but there's apparently movie, and a store with a website that sells Sailor Jerry booze, and a wikipedia page, and who the fuck knows what else, so I suspect I'm supposed to know him as an Ed Hardy who could kick Ed Hardy's ass with both arms tied behind his back. As you may have noticed, I'm a fan of tattoos, but cutting through all the marketing crap sucks; it looks like, if I want to see tattoos, the book's the place to find it.

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Books about how women who hook-up are damaged for life think that these women have no faces - cover your eyes, hide your sad countenance, curl up in a fetal position, woman: you had sex for fun, and you will never, ever, ever get over it. For shame.

Yes, yes it is:

I'd like to wander through her stacks, and check out her "library of congress" categories...eh, it sounded sexier in my head: