Stop that, rubber duckie! You're leering at the young lady -- don't be such a creep. Oh, you're such a naughty rubber duckie -- so naughty!

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As the global economy suffers, Russian men are turning to prostitutes more than ever. Why? Because you pay hookers for their time, and they're good listeners. Who needs sex anyways - they probably have wives at home anyhow - but if they want somebody to care, they gotta find an escort. Way to be emotionally secure in yourself, Russian men, but kudos for using hookers for their main purpose: companionship.

Holy fuck, I've found my calling in life: fortune telling via the ancient art of 'sternomancy', which means examining the chest for aspects that might foretell the future. It seems I may need to travel to 18th-century Spain to learn the craft, but I can't find any fault in examining the chests of fine Spanish ladies in learning a new trade.

Can't read Russian? Well, it's not necessary. You should be able to figure your way through these free, ad-minimal Russian galleries of naughty activities.