Hooker School!
A company in Spain is providing business classes to prospective entrepreneurs, in one particular industry: prostitution. For 100 euros (about $5,800 I think) aspiring hookers can learn how to use toys, read the Kama Sutra, and otherwise provide a top-notch product. It took eight years for the authorities to notice, but in the end the class gets to continue, because there's nothing illegal about informing escorts how to do their job - it's the actual doing the job that's against the law in Spain. Thanks for being smart, Spain. Over here in the U.S., you better believe a class in doing illegal things will get the authorities' jackboots all shined up and ready for some door-kickin'. Via.
Hearse Smash!
Just in time for Halloween, a hearse needed an exorcism before being sent to the grave. A well-adjusted young Canadian drove his car down to his friendly neighborhood Canadian Tire, bought a crowbar and sledgehammer, and starting beating the shit out of his hearse in the parking lot. He was thinking ahead, though: he had already called for a tow truck to take it away, but wanted to make efficient use of his time while waiting for the wrecker's arrival. Police intervened, and rather than shooting the haunted hearse a couple times for good measure, they handcuffed the dude. Canada, is this what's become of you?
Via.
Mormon Missionary Positions!
I know I've been down on Cosmopolitan's poor sex position techniques in the past, so I suppose I better go to a more institutional source. While I can't completely support the Mormon Church - who designed their magic underwear anyway? So unsexy - I can totally get behind a couple of Mormon missionaries dryhumping each other. It has to be about as successful as regular Mormon sex, I'll bet.
Brothel Sponsors Soccer!
With Greece's cash-strapped, well, everything, it's tough to find somebody to sponsor your sporting events. When you need money, you go looking for the people who have a positive money flow, and that path led one Greek soccer team to the doorstep of their local brothel. The gals of Villa Erotica ponied up and bought pink uniforms, emblazoned with their logo, to dress up their newly acquired players. No word yet on whether or not this has improved team morale, but if the players seem depressed or stressed out in any way, I'm sure the team sponsor can help them out in that regard.
The Black Tape Project!
The Black Tape Project makes bikinis and lingerie for naked women out of electrical tape and photographs them. Why? Because fuck you, that's why, it's sexy as hell. Making women look all Tron-y and shit qualifies as art to me. It's a good thing they're using electrical tape, which isn't particularly sticky, because it looks like it'd be pretty uncomfortable to remove if they had used colored duct tape. This stuff should come off easy, particularly if she gets sweaty...oh, boy, let's hope she does something to get sweaty. Anyhow, if the Black Tape Project becomes more commonplace, expect to see more like this in 'slutty costume' Flickr libraries this year, or at least pray for it, glossy black stripes are hot. Racing stripes make 'em look like they can go faster.
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Ethel Person Passes Away
Ethel Person, investigator of how fantasizes drive, motivate, and shape people, has passed away at age 77 from complications of Alzheimer's . Most recently she was known for giving general love advice to Oprah, but more importantly Person advocated that transvestitism and other "fetish" sexualities should not be looked at as illnesses, and saw them more complex than just a femininization of the male.
Glory Hole Girl!
I'm a bit too scared to use a gloryhole - I imagine meat grinders on the other side, but I'm a bit fucked up in the head - but this story from a worker at a sex-service-station and how her gloryhole job goes, I might just have to go stick my dick in a wall for once. Well, the right wall, of course, after the first time you're banned from the Applebee's bathroom, you learn to be more judicious of where you're sticking it.
Lynn's Bubble Bath!
I always laugh that her bathroom looks like a diner, all red and white, but when she invited me in to "eat out" - after I wash my hands, of course - I couldn't help but peruse the menu a little closer.
Penis Size Matters!
WOOHOO! Yet more proof my crotch is more powerful than most men's. A new study shows that big cocks are often better in bed than their smaller counterparts. One caveat, though: the big cocks were rated as better by women who - surprise - prefer cocks in general, so while it doesn't mean a huge penis necessarily improves sex, it just means that if your lover wants a cock, it better be a big fucking cock.
Phone Sex Girlfriend!
Ah, just a day in the life of a PSO's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, in at least this case, I think, I don't really get it. I hope she remembers to turn that voice off when her grandma calls to wish her a happy birthday, that could be embarrassing.
Gameplay Girls!
Aria Aspen is going to shoot the fuck out of you, so watch your back. This video is from Circus Hooker Slut Regime's series Gameplay Girls, which intends to emulate a FPS-style video game, but with real naked women, gunshot noises, freeze rays, and even mind control thrown in. It has a bit of everything for people who wish their videogames were more porny, and as a series the previews show everything from more FPS to Mortal-Kombat style arenas. The studio was nice enough to send me & Gracie a review copy of this particular episode. It does what it says on the lid: you follow Aria through a maze of hallways, avoiding being shot (keep your eye on your stats meter, kids), making use of the freeze ray to stop her movement for a better look, and tops it off with some mostly-nudity towards the end. It's all cheesecake, and at 10min long the gameplay style doesn't overstay its welcome. The style is a lot like most fetish-style videos, heavy on the fetish and less on straight-up nudity and sex, which wasn't quite right for Gracie and me, but will no doubt fulfill the right guys. Me, this is what got me off, but I've never been much of a gamer, I guess.
Zumba Hooker!
As if Zumba doesn't already make my pants tight, I have even more reason to be excited. A Zumba workshop in Maine decided to pick up some extra clients on the side, and has been shut down for prostitution. Proprietor Alexis Wright allegedly serviced male customers when she wasn't shaking her moneymaker helping middle-aged women feel better about themselves. Supposedly her clientele was more than just your average man on the street: there's rumors that a local TV personality may have been caught up in the sting, seeing as they're likely to reveal her client list.
Porn = Paperwork!
So, it turns out that porn isn't all just fucking and lube. Stoya wants people to understand that porn is full of paperwork and red tape before any of the fucking happens. The good news is, that's what keeps pornstars safe and disease low; the bad news is...well, it means it takes a while for the fucking to start during the porn video, but we don't see that, so I guess that's not so bad.
Porn Shoot!
I live in a boring place. When I walk down the street and look in people's windows, I see fat people sitting on couches, beneath paintings of old men praying or jesus and school pictures of grandkids. This guy walks past a hotel, and sees awesome tits in the window. Or maybe I just need to look in more windows, I dunno. Anyhow, he has more pics, apparently done at an Aloft Hotel someplace.
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