Chantelle Undressing For Bath

Chantelle spends about half her time undressing (it must be very complex), but once she starts to relax in the tub, warm suds slipping across her sweet breasts, stressful memories of the difficult degarmenting just slip away:

Sexy Robbers Stop Bike

Out for a bike ride, a Florida man got a sexy surprise: robbery by a gang of women with nothing but suspender straps to cover their nipples. It sounds like he just barely escaped the horrorshow ultra-violence, because the Warriors had just barely made it home.

Ladies' Night OK!

Ladies' nights are not discriminatory against men, according to a New York judge who tossed out the case of a man who believes men, as a whole, are being discriminated by being provided a place where hot, single women can get drunk for cheap. Such a horrible, horrible place for men to be; too bad, the law has declared the status quo will remain, because (and the court acknowledges this), "male customers actually might benefit from ladies' nights because so many women attend." God bless America and her sexist bars!

Kristy and Brittany In The Bath

We saw just their breasts a couple weeks ago, which was kinda unfair, so here's the rest of Brittany and Kristy -- different photos, different bathtime, same hot, soapy tits. Nothing to complain about there!

Stanford: Get Laid

If you want to get laid, go find the sleaziest college you can. If you want to get laid safely and without your dick falling off, Stanford is the place to go. The college's support of the student body by making prophylactics, contraception, and STD testing more accessible than their counterparts, means you might have less risky sex if you track down one of those nerdy Stanford gals.

Horny Goat Weed

For those of you who don't have as amazing a penis as I have, you might need a little help. The newest snake-oil is called "horny goat weed", because all three of those words are exactly what a guy wants to associate with his dick. Me, I got my "horny goat weed" my pants!

Redhead = Orangutan!

Down in Australia, 'ranga' is, apparently, a derrogatory term for redheads (thanks to, what else, comedy TV), so people were obviously offended when a local zoo offered free admission for 'rangas', meaning redheads get in for free. Oh, how the redheads are abused, being compared to a common ape. Don't people realize that redheads are the sexiest form of life ever?! How insulting to God's greatest creature.

Singapore Escorts, Formula One

Singapore is hosting a Formula One Grand Prix, which of course brings big spenders into the area, much to the enjoyment of escorts, who are seeing a business boom. Businessmen are spending thousands for the company of young ladies who "don't look like an escort", but, hopefully, perform all the duties of one.

Mya's Big Tit Bath

Oh, Mya, those breasts look so dirty -- while I'd love to sit here and watch you wash yourself, it'd be a disservice to your amazing tits to refuse to help lathering them up:

Marilyn Last Sitting - Stolen?

Nearly fifty years later, photographer Bert Stern might get back his "Last Sitting" Marilyn Monroe photos. Taken on assignment for Vogue, Stern lent them to Eros magazine (a fine publication, if I do say myself), but never got them back. After years of tracking down the originals, he found them in the possession of two New York guys. The guys asked for a bunch of money for their return, which, inevitably, resulted in lawyers getting involved. There's lots of issues here (wouldn't they belong to Vogue? Does the Visual Artists Rights Act mean anything? Any documentation on how Eros was supposed to return them?) but greed is, of course, the driving force behind the conflict! .

Jerseys Everywhere

Now, I can understand supporting your favorite team, but I've never been a fan of wearing a jersey for a team you don't play on, especially with your fat gut trying to keep out from under a shirt with the name of an athletic, toned and strong guy across your shoulders. Fake player jerseys are still all over the place, as this website will attest. Readers send in random jerseys they meet during their days, attributing them to the player's name, and often without seeing the face of the actual wearer.

Olympus' Retro Prototype

I'm a fan of the K1000, but Olympus made a lot of great cameras. They recently revealed a prototype that hails back to their early years of the entry-level camera market, with brushed aluminum and leatherette overlays, seen here:

Drunken Panty Call

Nobody lets bars have any fun. An Australian bar is offering free drinks for a flash, and a free tab if you leave your panties at the bar. What's so wrong with that? I mean, other than encouraging public drunkenness...because people who want to get really, really drunk need encouragement. Something I'd like to know more about is at the end of the story: The same hotel drew criticism in June when it employed a shirtless dwarf to pour shots of liquor down the throats of patrons. Now that's a crowd-pleaser!

Dyed Hair = Slutty Women

Men, look for natural roots peeking through: women who dye their hair tend to be looser in bed. Not only that, but they feel more confident in general, and overall do it for attention, especially from strangers. No wonder all the gals at the bar quite clearly "don't match the drapes" if you know what I mean.

Wife In The Kitchen = MO MONEY

Men with traditional values have deeper pockets, according to a new study released yesterday. In fact, unless you have deep pockets, there's no chance in hell of being married to a housewife in today's economy. On average, they make $8500 more than those of us who feel wives have skills and advantages in the workforce. On the other hand: the guy might make $8500 more than the guy who "lets" his wife work, but my bet is that a working wife brings in a bit more than that for her efforts.

Hot Twins = PORN

It's a given, apparently: if you're a hot woman and you're very close to your hot female twin, you've got a career in pornography and escorting. These two young entrepeneurs wisely used their assets to build a career few people can enter: the Sexy Twin Market.

Whoops: Forgot Work Clothes

It's an easy mistake -- you show up for work, but forgot to get dressed first. It's a nightmare most of us have had since our gradeschool days, but for one young lady in Illinois, clothes-free was how she spent the first part of her evening as a bartender. As for the second half of the evening, she spent it in jail for indecent exposure. Sadly, there are no photos of the event, so I can't say if she was genuinely indecent -- there are more than a couple bartenders I know who I think would be perfectly decent to see naked. Oh, wait, these guys have her booking pho--DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN! Oh, well, no wonder the cops wanted her to get dressed. She's younger than me, and looks my mom's age. Maybe this'll encourage the bar to hire someone a bit more lovely for the nude-bartender-in-a-non-nude-bar job.

James Gunn;'s PG Porn

Some guy named James Gunn, who's supposedly tha shit in film shorts today, has a new deal, with Spike TV, to produce PG Porn: real actors, real pornstars, together! doing suggestive yet chaste things to each other. I predict 3 watchable episodes, which is more than any internet-originating shorts-series has ever done.

Real Girlfriend Experience

A writer, quite obviously gunning for some literary award, asked escorts out on real dates, like bowling and minigolf. Mistake #1: not paying the escort their regular rate, then acting like the escort obviously is only in it for the sex or that there's something creepy about a sexless escort gig. He gets straightened out by one of the escorts that did take him up on the date: It's an escort's job, and they're getting paid for their time; try asking a lawyer for cheaper hours because it's an easy and fun job. As for the creepy part: of course they thought it was creepy; they weren't going to work for cheap when the guy gets off on "reporter-and-escort-minigolfing" role-play. Al! so, miraculously, the only three escorts that take him up on the offer consist of a young-and-in-it-for-the-money, an older-and-fallen-on-hard-times, and a pro-with-her-head-on-straight-and-business-sense. A veritable microcosm of hooker TV-character stereotypes! The article is a Pulitzer-winner for sure.

Brittany and Kristy in the Bath

It's always wise to bathe with a friend when your breasts are so fucking huge. I mean, if you're not careful, you're liable to injure yourself. Make sure somebody (like me, or a lesbian friend) is hold on to them, just to be sure they don't slip out and break anything. It's a safety thing, really.

The Cleaver's Beds = Good?!

Studies have shown that couples who sleep in separate beds have better sleep than those who sleep together. This, to those of us who are children of the hedonistic 70s and 80s, seems to be completely, so to speak, "wack". The numbers, however, prove it: a noisy, lumpy neighbor who keeps rolling around and steals the covers is actually a detriment to quality sleep. Well, when you put it that way, it makes sense.

Unhot Guys And Hot Gals

New studies show that funny looking guys still think they have a chance with hot gals. The article points out the #1 factor for the difference: guys are more interested in hot looks than women. Women, on the other hand, want a guy who'll be fun to hang out when the fucking is over, which opens up the field to all sorts of not-so-attractive guys. Also, famous funny-looking guys have their successes held up as examples of how anybody can find a hot babe: look at Steve Buscemi. That guy fucks supermodels all day long.

Golden Nude In Public

That's something the U.S. just doesn't get enough of: live, naked women showing up in public as advertisements. Clogau Gold painted a beautiful young lady all in gold, and sent her out into the streets as a comparison to the beauty of their jewelry. Debeer's Diamonds: shadows. Kay's Jewelry: long-married housewives getting things from their husbands. Clogau Gold: naked ladies. I think we know who wins this immunity challenge.


Here's something EVERYBODY needs to worry about: When you have a blood clot in your thigh and a hole in your heart that could make the clot pass randomly into an artery that leads to the brain, DON'T have sex before experiencing a stroke caused by that random connection of clot-hearthole-brain-event. If you do, the only thing anybody will know is that you just had sex, not that you lived every day with a serious medical condition that could have killed you at any time. Just thought you should know.

Pole Dancing = Sport!

Competitors in Amsterdam have proven that pole-dancing is as athletic as any other gymnastics, only the 'parallel bars' are actually a single bar mounted vertically. Oh, and unlike the Olympics, you don't have to be ashamed of that erection you get while watching.

Sydney: Best Hooker Health

In a survey of Australian prostitutes, Sydney is still the best: hookers in Sydney, undeterred by being considered criminals, go for medical care far more often than their counterparts in other large Aussie cities. Melbourne has also decriminalized, but excerts far more control in terms of registration and oversight, which discourages prostitutes from getting medical services for their profession.

Bathing Serenity

Serenity must've taken a cue from Seinfeld in that Microsoft commercial: bathe in your clothes, when you're done, you're ready to go. She slowly undresses as she washes herself, which is more fun to watch than anything else:

Sex Kits in Posh Hotels

Atlantic City's Borgata Hotel caters to a guest's every need -- including a "sex kit" containing condoms and other intimate aids, and have become their most-purchased 'room service' item. One might expect this at a Sybaris, but at regular hotels, they do understad their clientele...any place that has a bed should have condoms nearby. Serta Outlet Store on Hwy 83 North, I'm pointing at you.

Nude Disco = Nepal Fail

Nude disco dancing may have been the rage in Studio 54, but the Hindus and the Maoists both frown on the practice in Nepal. Many 'nude discos' have been closed and many have been arrested for dropping their clothes and doing the hustle in the high altitudes of Nepal, potentially making 80,000 unemployed, but saving so, so many nipples from frostbite.

Pope Granted Super Powers

In a move shocking to world superpowers, the Pope's "handlers" allowed him to slip from their grip and ingest a small amount of water from the fountain of Lourdes, a spring from which holy water pours directly from the ground. The holy water added a significant amount of Jesus energy to the aging pope, causing what so many tried to prevent: the ability for the Pope to travel through time. In other news, new evidence has just appeared, as if from a dream, that proves Martin Luther, King Henry VIII, and Joseph Stalin were never born. More details later.

Defacing Graves = Turned In

When defacing gravestones, make sure you don't sign your name. Sure, 'tagging' will probably slip under the radar if it's on a railroad car or brick wall, but defacing peoples' final resting places will get you turned in just for being a huge ass. "Roach" here wasn't bright enough to figure out that level of respect on his own.

Twistin' Forever

Beating out Beatleses and Roling Stoneses, Chubby Checker's The Twist is the number-oneiest of number one songs ever . When you see that Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana is nudging shoulders with the Macarena in the top five, you might want to send those numbers back to the statisticians who came up with the freaky list. Nothing against Chubby Checkers, I mean, he rocks, but that list is about as random as a 20-something hipster's MP3 player on shuffle.

Laurie Washing Up

Oh, Laurie -- why don't you relax in the bubble bath more? You turn on the sprayer too, too soon, washing away the bubbly soapiness. At least there's two good pictures of you lying in the lather:

Porn Is Not Adultery

...or so says I, but this article at The Atlantic takes a more judicious look at whether pornography is a form of adultery, including whether porn has an affect on sexual violence or other crimes. Overall, the article's tone sympathizes with what I know: porn is an outlet, doesn't cause any harm on its own, and the man's ability to have a relationship is greater weight on how his pornography affects his life.

Bears Beat Bikes

Bears are having a tough time -- they seem to be in bicyclists' way all the time. Back in June, a guy heading downhill on a bike hit a bear at about 45mph, and just today another bear got hit by a bicyclist on his way to school. I could blame high gas prices, resulting in more quiet bicycles and fewer noisy cars to scare off bears, or I could blame global warming for causing bears to move closer to human habitats, or I could just blame bicyclists for not looking where they're fucking going. There are bears around, people!

Microsoft = Kinky!

I haven't liked those new Microsoft-Gates-Seinfeld ads, although Gracie like 'em. Turns out, there's an explanation why: the commercials are a thinly-veiled promotion of kinky sex. Foot fetish, leather fetish, wet-tshirt, churros - churros! - all add up to Bill Gates being a naughty, naughty boy.

Church Sex = Necrophilia

A new book recommends a church confessional as one of the 101 places to have sex before you die. For obvious reasons, churches don't like the suggestion of confessional-fucking on their property. I highly doubt anyone will every actually accomplish thist lofty objective, but according to the Catholic League's Bill Donohoue, "The kind of people who would have sex in the confessional would also have sex in a graveyard. And I don't mean with each other." Ah, the quick association of the slightest perversion with the deepest perversion. "People who have oral sex are gonna fuck their dogs eventually!" "Lock up your ten-year-old girls, that guy likes to be spanked!" "Gays, gays everywhere -- prepare to be fucked in the nose!" The only way the fair Catholic League president could prove his statement would be to poll the people who have had sex in a church and question their necrophiliac predilections. I volunteer him to do the questioning. He may not realize that, to a lot of people, his "church" is just a big public building, and people just like to fuck each other anywhere they have a enclosed, quiet place, whether it's a confessional, store changing room, or public bathroom. Or, wherever there's a sexy latex-nun:

Oh no -- I think she's hot, now the Catholic League knows I'm a horse-fucker!

Poop Fuel!

San Antonio is making poop work for them, by collecting methane gas from the decomposition and converting it to fuel. Like San Antonio needs another reason to smell like ass, am I right? Eh? Anyone? Um. OK, I've never been to San Antonio, and I'm sure it smells fine. Until they get their poop fuel working, that is.

Re-book For Sexxxotica

Secaucus, NJ, had a problem with Sexxxotica in their town - too much sex, too much booze, too close to a daycare - so Sexxxotica is moving down the road to Edison - no booze, less impressionable children nearby - which is better off for everybody. Still, if you'd been planning on bringing your business to Secaucaus hotels, better re-book: you'll be too close to their preschools and alcohol for them to want your money.

Uranium In Kyrgyzstan

Two men bought a quarter-ton of depleted uranium in Kyrgyzstan and took it home, not knowing what it was. The fact that it gave off light didn't tip them off that it could be anything radioactive, but they wanted to sell it, so off to the analyst the material goes. Whoops -- smuggling radioactive material is illegal, so the police were understandably concerned. Being ignorant of its health danger, the guys get to go free, because you can't be a smuggler if you don't know what you're smuggling. Moral of the story: You can buy depleted uranium in Kyrgyzstan; my guess is it'll only cost you a couple vowels.

Pam Anderson: Penis Karma

Pamela Anderson claims to have "good penis karma", meaning no penis she's ever been with has ever seemed small by comparison. I wonder how the Hindi determine the earning of 'penis karma'? In a previous life, did she fuck a zillion small-penised men, and this is her reward? Was she a huge-penised man who put his tool to work on unfortunate women, and this is her punishment? I think she needs to reflect on this karmic experience, and decide: just what did I do to deserve big penises?".

The Hen Is On The Move

Kentucky Fried Chicken has made a serious security mistake: they have moved their secret recipe from its long-occupied secure location temporarily. It was once housed in a combination-locked file cabinet, but advanced security protection is required in this high-tech day and age. The recipe has been moved to an undisclosed location, and will not return until security has been increased. Odds are 20:1 the Russian Mafia will possess it within hours, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. Banquet Frozen Chicken: they're waiting for your briefcase of cash to arrive.

Sex: All In Your Head

Studies of ovary-less women find they still like sex, regardless of missing their gonads. The reason? They kinda like sex anyways, regardless of the influence of hormones. Again, like most of the sex news out there, a big 'duh' from most people will echo through the halls, but there's enough people out there who still need to be reminded that the best part of sex is all in your head.

Pitbull vs. Bees: STALEMATE

A pitbull took on a hive of bees, and had trouble holding his ground. His owner said, "I just see a million bees on my dog,âÂÂ

Rollins Berates Mohawk Kid

It happens more than I care to admit I've heard on the radio. Snot-nosed kid doing 'indie' journalism talks his way into a back-stage pass to do an "interview", and pisses his way through it. My favorites are the musicians that don't put up with the crap -- and Henry Rollins is not one to take crap from such a kid:The video was posted by, and produced by, a high school TV program. via.

Taxing Swede Hookers

In Sweden, they've got the odd relationship of paying for sex being illegal, but being paid is entirely legal. So, when you're a prostitute and you're a legitimate business, but you don't get socialized benefits because you don't have a ready means for paying your taxes, what do you do? Get the government to officially recognize your business status and hire an accountant. That last part is easy, but the first part is hard, thanks to - and they do have them over there - religious social conservatives.

Drunks = Sluts!

A new study shows what, again, we've all known: women who get wasted are far more likely to put out, accept suitors at the "back door", have more than one sex partner, and, um, have STDs. That last one may be a deal-breaker for some, but, hell, it's the only way some of us can get laid! Also, one should note that the data was collected at STD clinics, and self-selection probably rears its sexy head again.

Helen Mirren = BRILLIANT

Helen Mirren, the hottest Queen-Elizabeth-lookalike in the world, is also quite smart: she advocates brothels as a legal business, because the women are protected from violence and disease and since it's not going away it should be as safe as possible. She got first-hand experience in brothel operations while studying for her role in Love Ranch.

Think of Her as Your Mother

Ah, the 1960s, when the sexiness of stewardesses was an expectation, not a sexual-harassment accusation. This creepy ad includes an aforementioned sexy stewardess with a dreamy, "come-hither" look, but with the instruction to Think of her as your mother.. Fuckin' kinky!
The ad reads:She only wants what's best for you. A cool drink. A good dinner. A soft pillow and a warm blanket. This is not just maternal instinct. It's the result of the longest Stewardess training in the industry. Training in service, not just a beauty course. Service, after all, is what makes professional travellers prefer American. And makes new travellers want to keep on flying with us. So we see that every passenger gets the same professional treatment. That's the American way.I'd like some of that "professional treatment" from a well-trained Stewardess, if they don't mind -- it is the American way!

Talented Breasts

The Joyful Bosom Affair is a great-sounding title for anything, but in this case it's an art project in which paint-covered breasts are pressed against canvas and turned into art. Who knew breasts were so talented?

Last Taiwan Brothel Closed

What do you get when you make prostitution illegal, but are unable to terminate the existing brothel permits? You get the contents of the last legal brothel in Taiwan, staffed by a 40-year-old and a 50-year-old, both of whom have lost their jobs because their 87-year-old madame passed away. Permits are non-transferable, so that's the end of that for these mature ladies of the night.

Pretend Whore = Kicked Out

Posh hotels are so anxious to project a wholesome image, that they'll kick you out for just looking like a whore. The story smacks of fiction, but it's an amusing picture: hubby's getting excited about how hot his wife looks, then hotel security wisks her away to tell her that 'her type' aren't welcome, leaving him sitting at the bar, jaw agape and flabbergasted. It all has a fairy-tale ending, and everybody gets laid. Or so we hope.

Strippers Win Fashion Week

If you want to present your pret-a-porter fashions in an exotic, sensual way, you pick exotic, sensual presenters. Step 1: Call up all the strippers you can find, and fit them in your Fashion Week naughties. Step 2: Get a cut of all the dollars stuffed in your models' garters. (duh) Step 3: Profit! - especially when Reuters writes a whole article about you. Who knew strippers could be a valuable advertising medium?

Condom Lube = Acne Killer

Cambodians are using a common condom lube to clear up their acne. They claim that very few other drugs work, but smearing the lube around on their face does the trick. I doubt it has much to do with the lube, but more with the Nonoxynol-9 that most condoms use as a spermicide -- if it's a gentle microbicide, it may be doing the job to kill off infections in a person's pores. Or their acne may be so embarrassed by having a condom wiped over them that they're hiding.

Regulating Padding Bras

The argument is that your stuffed animals are regulated, mattresses and pillows are controlled, and chair stuffing has legal restrictions, but padded bras fly under the radar. Most 'hygenic' padded objects require only new materials be used in the manufacturing, but your boobie ballast might be shredded hotel blankets. The industry, of course, thinks the limitations are crazy because so little padding is used, but if they cared about breasts as much as I do, they'd understand just how fucking important it is to be nice to a lady's tits.

Pets Over Partners

The Department of Obvious would like you to know that most people would prefer to have their pet on a desert island than their lover. This could be attributed to the fact that a partner's needs are a pain in the ass, and why would anybody want to spend the rest of their life dealing with another person's demands and expectations? Oh, wait - that's marriage. This is why the Conservatives don't want to open up marriage to anything but a man and a woman. If people could marry their pets, Republicans would never get laid again. In other news, the originator of the survey, Petplan, surveyed their customers for this data, which means that people who! buy their pets insurance are so batshit insane that they throw their pets parties, prepare cooked meals for them, and share a bed with them. They're not getting laid either, I bet.

Watch How She Walks

Professional 'sexologists' have determined that a woman's ability to orgasm can be detected in how she walks. Hip action means greater fun-times, a stiff back means a more frigid reaction. So, wiggle that ass, ladies - it might reflect a better time in the bedroom.

Elected Official Sex: OK!

Note to self: sleeping around while in office is OK in Maryland...for now. Politicians, not recognizing that they're screwing up their own fun, want to make it illegal...unless you're married to the person, of course, because having your spouse working for you doesn't violate any sort of ethics issues either, right? At least you're married to the person you're fucking, and that's the most important thing of all.

Church = Sex Club!

Reverend John Ondrik has asked his community to allow him to operate a church out of his home, with services starting at mindnight on Saturdays. Sleuths, however, have discovered that the church services provide quite a bit of service: the good Reverend's address appears to be the location of a swinger's club. A look at the swinger's club website doesn't have any address that I could find, although the address connection comes from this swinger's ad site; this swinger's club listing recommends contacting "John or Kim," the couple applying for the church permit. Don't worry, folks: you won't get much churchin' if you go the the Ondrik's late-night masses - you'll get something far more enjoyable!

Bad Brains: Election Night

I'd completely forgotten they existed, but apparently they're still around, and now back with the same lineup as when I first heard'em in 1989 over the PA in the Lake Street Ragstock and said, "what the hell is this" to the punk-wannabe dude working the counter. Anyhow: Bad Brains, back with original lineup, in concert on Election Night. Woot.

New, Manlier Mustang

Ford is putting its efforts where it's really needed: revamping the Mustang logo. Somebody told Ford that the old running horse was too much of a pansy to be connected to such a fast car. So, they've done to it what they've done to the Mustang itself: Crisper angles! Sharp lines! Black Chrome options for the GT! The longer I stare at it, the more I kinda like it, but the sacrilege is eating away at my soul.

Global Warming = Less Plague

Is there anything that widespread cataclysmic climate change can't do? Apparently, people are still dying from the Black Plague, but -- whaddayaknow -- the plague can't live and spread in the warm, arid climates caused by Global Warming. Well, um, sure we can't grow food in dry, arid climates, but every cloud has a silver, plagueless lining!

Yngwie Is Back

Yngwie Malmsteen, god of the flying heavy metal guitar fingers, has a new album coming out in October. It'll be released in the middle of his U.S. Tour. I bet I can kick his ass at Guitar Hero, though.

Taserin' the Emu - REDUX!

No, this ain't the same emu as before -- another emu had to be tased into submission after, authorities guess, it escaped from a emu transporter. Despite being thumbless and devoid of lockpicking spy gear, these giant birds are becoming a threat to freedom-loving humans all over. Start sleeping with one eye open. They are coming for you

Lesbian Bubble Bath

Girls, girls, girls! Don't you know you're supposed to wait for me? And with all the fisting in the bath. If you want something to stretch you out that bad, you should be using my cock. It has far fewer fingernails.

The Divorce Gene

There's a gene found in rats that influences their interest in mating for life. Whaddayaknow -- humans have it too, and wedded bliss is related to who has the gene. Men without the gene had happy marriages and were more likely to be married in the first place. Men with one copy of the gene are largely single or unhappy, but guys with two copies are most likely to show up in the tabloids. I'm looking at you, Mr. George Clooney.

Somtimes, Nudity Helps!

Beate Uhse, European maker of sex aids, has used black bars to their benefit. A new billboard for their business uses strategically-placed nude women, constructing a arrow to point where to go.

Chili: 11 Pounds!

"Humble Bob" has single-handedly put the Mason, Ohio septic system at risk. Mr. "Bob", aka Bob Shoudt, won two grand at the Skyline Chili Spaghetti Eat-off for consuming eleven and a half pounds of chili-spaghetti, whatever the hell that is. It doesn't sound like a light snack, I know that for sure. For the next two weeks, mail to Mr. Shoudt can be addressed to King's Island Men's Room, Fifth Stall On The Left.

Iowa Gets Full-Nude Dancing

A stripclub in Waterloo, Iowa, has finally gotten its wish: the 'juice bar' will be allowed to have full-nude dancing, according to a recent city commission vote. The Fantasy Theater Live has been working in bikinis for the time being, but soon everything'll be popping out for the viewing public!

Britisn Navy Gay Porn

A billboard a British naval museum has some people looking twice: it seems to depict a historic seaman getting some unwanted poop-deck attention. They claim they didn't see that when they looked at it, which just goes to show how often Brits are thinking about anal sex, that they'll read it into anything. Just look at it. There's nothing gay about that pose, is there?