Erotic Museum!
The Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas opened in 2008, but in February it closed its doors after a tumultuous run and several months of unpaid rent. The museum is reopening, for-profit and under new management, but without nearly as many exhibits because the parts that belonged to the former museum-runner have been removed. The website still shows 'closed', but the grand opening is planned for June 7.
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Kinky College Grads!
Uneducated people might get laid more, but college grads are far more creative about it. The study comes from Lovehoney, a sex toy proprietor, so there's a bit of self-selection in the kind of people who respond to such studies, but it sounds factual to me. I mean, when you're in college, who has time for so many sex partners? What with all the studying and classes and trying to work to pay the bills, you need to get innovative with how you use your lovemaking time. It's not a difference in IQ, it's about efficiency.
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Cutie In The Bubbles!
She's apparently just washing the important parts - but, I can't complain, it shows a dedication to cleanliness that I can appreciate.
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Lantern Babes!
The Green Lantern movie didn't get a lot of respect, but the comic book has been around for decades and added a number of rings beyond green and yellow - so here's some naked babes bodypainted to represent all the colors of the Lantern Corps universe:
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Penis Electricity!
Just how much electricity can the penis tolerate? Apparently being struck by lightning in the penis has no lasting effects, but scientists still decided to study penis-zapping because the superhero-sounding technology "electrosurgery" is common enough in penis repairs that finally they decided to see just what shocking a penis does to it. Someone should have just asked the electrostim people, they've probably got a lot of, albeit anecdotal, case data on electrifying penises.
Prescription Vibrator!
We all know how the government pays for millions of dollars in penis pumps - but want a vibrator, ladies? Too fucking bad! Well, in Georgia, at least, you can't buy a vibrator without a doctor's prescription, because you've got a vagina and not a penis, so who cares. Given that nondescript boxes aren't checked for prescriptions by the USPS, she should have success buying one online, but it's the principle of the thing. Why is the government so worried about how women are obtaining orgasms outside of proper medical counsel? Is a long, rubbery purple thing shaped like a forest animal really the kind of thing doctors are the only authority on?
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Breast Shirt!
Feelin' a bit self-conscious about your boobs? Get this tshirt, and now people will stare at your chest the way you hope they would! It's a simple idea, the kind that you wonder why these haven't been for sale at Spencer's for the past eighty years, but, hey, sometimes original things are the most obvious.
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HappyPlayTime!
Wish you had an app on your iPhone that helped you masturbate? Well, too bad, pervert - Apple has rejected a female-friendly masturbation app because girls shouldn't do that or something. Somehow, apps which promote sexual health are just as bad as Redtube, so you can't have it. You'll have to stick with looking at static photos in your browser to get your sexual-health-on now.
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POV Porn!
I can't get into POV porn: it doesn't show the best parts most of the time. However, Inside Amy Schumer shows how POV porn from the woman's perspective can be much more successful for all parties involved:
Asa Akira!
Society trains little girls to hope to be princesses and mothers, STEM education hopes they'll be engineers and engineers (the math kind and the train kind), but sometimes little girls want to grow up to be porn stars. Asa Akira is one of the latter: in her memoir Insatiable: Porn - a Love Story, Asa tells how she went from a good home and happy family to being a porn star. No, that's no spiral downward: if we know anything, it's that porn stars are generally well-rounded, and Asa Akira proves that in her book.
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Jeju Loveland!
"Enjoy our humorous sexual theme park" is my most effective pickup line, and by coincidence it's also the headline for the Jeju Loveland theme part website. The park is in South Korea - not North Korea, which is what I originally thought I read, which really confused me - and depicts a variety of sexually-positive imagry for the park visitors. Apparently, the island is a traditional "honeymoon destination", and the prudish Koreans have needed some 'education' to know what to do with their wedding night. I'm sure internet porn has replaced this function across most societies, but Loveland seems to be doing OK despite.
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Porn by Wes Anderson!
Wes Anderson is known for grittily twee movies, of which I have seen almost none, but even without being intimately familiar with his body of work I understand the affection reflected in the film below. Too little nudity for my taste, but it doesn't take long to watch.
Sex Driving!
It turns out that 11% of people admit to having sex while driving. Most of that sounds like basic fooling around, but this couple must've been doing something awfully distracting since they were cuising at 55mph, turned down a dead-end dirt road, and went airborne for 30 feet over a canal, all while half naked and canoodling in the driver's seat. Man, if texting while driving is bad, this is so much worse -- they need to put up PSA billboards to discourage sexdriving now, too!
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Penis Preference!
This just in: biologists have studied penises more than any other genitalia by a wide margin. Biologists love penises so much, half of all their papers on genitals have been about penises, versus 10% about women.
While I agree, penises are totally the best thing ever, but here's the problem: we don't entirely understand vaginas. Please, biology majors: vulvas are a mystery to men because you're not studying them. When one set of genitals gets more attention than the other, like, 5x as much, then the other one feels frustrated and left out and taken advantage of, while the one that got more attention gets to take a nap. Make biology mutual, and give her parts the attention they are due, biologists.
Freckles Getting Clean!
Oh, Freckles - those cute little spots won't come off! And stop trying to wash them off: they're so damn sexy. Just get yourself clean, and then we'll go make each other dirty...
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Masturbation Teacher!
Betty Dodson is in her seventies and still teaching women how to diddle themselves. After writing "Sex For One" in 1973, she now runs Bodysex Workshops (site appears down) with her partner, Carlin Ross, teaching inexperienced humans how to use their funnest parts.
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Autoblow 2!
The Autoblow - you can find it here - has a new model out: the Autoblow 2 will be released soon, and its inventor is doing the publicity tour schtick. The stupidest questions tend to be the first question: "Why?" Um, media asshole, the answer is: dudes love spraying their sperm all over the place. Anything that helps a man blow his load has a profitable future. So if you're a web journalist posed with questioning an inventor about the improvements in his cum-collector, you should probably expect your interview to go better if you don't try to make a guy talk about getting a guy to blow his load in a robotic vagina right out of the gates. Ease him into it, ask him about fucking robots, then get to the orgasmic potential of his mechanical wonder.
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Applesauce!
That green thing? It's an apple, and I'm not sure what Nicole is planning on doing, but if she's making applesauce she better get started - after that apple, she needs to do about 10 more to boobpress if we're going to have enough for porkchops tonight!
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Tom Of Finland!
Finland: land of cold, sexy women, and homoerotic postage stamps. I mean, "cold" and "sexy women", not "cold sexy women", and by "homoerotic postage stamps" I mean "homoerotic postage stamps". The nation of Finland is commemorating some guy named "Tom of Finland", probably because he has the country's name in his name, by publishing his big, gay art on postage stamps. There's so much demand for these stamps that the deluge of pre-orders crashed the postal service website. If postage stamps are your thing, as a sidenote, you can buy underwear from Tom of Finland called "Sport Fucker".
