Posts Tagged 'Humor'

How To Eat Pussy!

Hey, inexperienced dudes (and women of such persuasion) - here's how to go down on your female lover. You mean it's not just "poke everything with your tongue"? No wonder I get pushed away so often. Anyhow, you're welcome.


POV Porn!

I can't get into POV porn: it doesn't show the best parts most of the time. However, Inside Amy Schumer shows how POV porn from the woman's perspective can be much more successful for all parties involved:

Push-Up Muscles!

If you're a guy of a certain age, this website is for you. Look at these shirts - they take your flabby goo-bags and push them into places so they look like muscles! Lots of good advice, here, in general. And, we all make mistakes.

Artisan Dildos!

All-natural and green products of the Body Shop are surprisingly devoid of sexual-wellbeing products. The Vermont Pleasures is out to change that! Artisinal lube, a Sherpa dildo, shaft cozies, everything for the modern-day hippie!

See also Birds with Human Penises *

Fake Dick Shorts!

Southeast Asia has a problem with guys violating women's personal space. As a way to discourage roaming hands, Thai manufacturer Headmuns is selling a new deterrent: women's panties with a fake penis built in. See the banned commercial here. Now, I think this will work the wrong direction for a lot of guys, if the amount of ladies-with-penis porn on the internet tells me anything. But, at the very least, having a fake penis is one step up from a fanny-pack: store your pencils and spare change in there! Use it to block your drafty window when you're not wearing it! Helicopter to show your dominance! There's so many more things this solves than the rape culture of South-East Asia, so I rate it FIVE STARS, BUY!

Via. I'm pretty sure it's the Thai version of FunnyOrDie, so it's probably fake. Sorry, ladyboy afficianados.

Bad Gnomes!

What seems to start out as a regular camgirl session reveals a significant gnome infestation. She should really talk to her landlord about it -- if she survived. Everyone knows gnomes are attracted by Hitachi Magic Wands, she should have known better.


Phone Sex Girlfriend!

Ah, just a day in the life of a PSO's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, in at least this case, I think, I don't really get it. I hope she remembers to turn that voice off when her grandma calls to wish her a happy birthday, that could be embarrassing.


Goths In Hot Weather

Summer is here, the beaches are open, the bathing suits are tiny, and the goths are dripping. Goths in Hot Weather is a very new blog, in which photographs of people dressed all in black at the beach are mocked gently and evaluated in two categories: Gothiness and Sweatiness. I've always been a fan of wearing black, but that was because I'm badass, not because the ennui of life has reminded me of my mortality. I at least know how to dress when heading out into the sun. The best quotes are the goths who think they're "scaring" the locals. Keep telling yourself that, morons; mostly, the locals are too polite to laugh out loud. (via)

Vulgar Periodic Table!

Sometimes, there's something naughty to say, but you're not sure where it falls in the structure of vulgarity - get this poster, and you'll have a basis. If it works like the real periodic table, you can also figure out which go together with others more readily and effectively, but watch out for creating a critical mass: somebody might get hurt:
(originally from College Humor, copied to sex is funny, linked by sexoteric.)

Find A Hottie For Threesome!

It can be tough to find a hottie for a threesome (or, ahem, so I've heard), so Franklin Veaux's journal has provided a handy flowchart for finding the "unicorn", that elusive, magical beautiful woman who's single, looking for two homely-looking people to have sex with, and is free from emotional hang-ups or baggage. Hell, everyone wants one of those, regardless of bisexuality!

Stripper For Reunion!

Ah, the life of an avant-garde filmmaker: make crazy crap happen and film it, and you've got it made! Case in point: filmmaker Andrea Wachner decided not to go to her reunion, but RSVP'ed anyway. In her place, she sent a lookalike stripper to pose as Andrea, and film the shenanigans. As you might expect, Punk'ding your fellow alumni doesn't get you any brownie points. Unsurprisingly, nobody has picked up her 'documentary' for distribution yet. She's a freelance comedy writer, so I suppose, well, it might have been funny; remember, humorists: if the people who think you're funny are a) your family, or b) they were drunk, you're actual level of funniness is suspect. That said, I may have to find that youtube video: the stripper she hired is rather hot in that Lisa-Loeb/Liz-Lemon/Lana-Lang (Lisa Ling? Lucy Liu? Lori Line? Langelina Lolie?) sort of way. (via)

Funny = Sexy!

Guys, buy that lewd knock-knock joke book you've been looking at: women believe that men who have a sense of humor are sexier, which is why I'm no longer allowed to tell jokes at the front desk at work anymore. We've had to fire too many secretaries for lusting after my funny ass. Including my mom.

Talking Breasts!

A bra manufacturer wants women to know what happens when they wear a nice fitting, pretty bra: your tits get higher billing:

Hand-Grab Boob Bra!

It looks uncomfortable, it is likely to cause a 'wardrobe malfunction', it draws a lot of attention to the tits -- and it's the most amazing invention ever. Pretend you're Janet Jackson on Rolling Stone with these hand bras.

Glamour Shots

I can imagine working at Glamour Shots can get pretty boring, spending your days prettying-up non-models:
But HOLY HELL, once in a while some lady makes it the GREATEST JOB IN THE FUCKING WORLD:
(just kidding - most Glamour Shots photographers work in porn already, so a pair of tits is no surprise.)