Intrepid researchers asked 1,500 adults what their sexy fantasies are - and it turns out they're all statistically normal. Kids and animals, very unusual of course, golden showers a little less so, but everything else counts as something that turns most humans on. So, that fantasy about watching a woman eat a banana while you rub your dick with ice cream? 98% of men have that fantasy every day according to this study. Well, I think that's the number, it only makes sense.

Scientists at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine have done what was once thought impossible: cut off a rabbit's penis, grow them a new one, attach the new one, and get the rabbit laid. Well, that's how science works, right? They can't jump right to humans, that'd be tough to find volunteers. However, now that it works for bunnies, they can move on to people and make whole what was once broken. They appear to be only able to grow the penis itself at this time, from what I can gather, and not the entire genitalia, otherwise we'd be too close to producing an Edward Penishands for my comfort.

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Want to have more orgasms, ladies? This study says that women who are able to be more aware of their body, and have more erotic thoughts during sexual stimulation, have more orgasms. Most women, they say, are able to focus those erotic thoughts during masturbation, but those that fail to do the same during sex end up with more difficulty reaching orgasm. Those that are successful all around experience far more "erotological behaviors", which sounds far more clinical than "fantasizing about boning". So, loosen up, ladies: focus, fantasize, and go with the flow, and the orgasms will come naturally!

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Think casual sex is a bad, bad thing? Not always, says scientists. General knowledge of the fact that lots of people have casual sex, and most grow up to be well-rounded doctors, lawyers, cowgirls, and baristas, would seem to indicate that fucking for fun is generally non-harmful - but this study says that, if done right, casual sex can be positive for self-esteem and satisfaction with life.

Yeah, the study emphasizes "done right", because it can sometimes have a negative effect...but since the 'good' or 'bad' is derived from the situation, and not the sex itself, the critical part is less "how long-term is this relationship?" and more "do I really want to bang this chick on a dirty couch just because I'm the only erect penis available?" Well, I might still lump the second example in "positive sexual experiences", but it doesn't take much to boost my self-esteem. So, ride 'em cowboy, have casual sex but check yourself to make sure it is a positive experience before you get too far into things.

The excellent Billion Wicked Thoughts has given us yet another tidbit of interesting info: women enjoy the same sort of porn that men like; feminist porn, while not bad, isn't necessarily what porn-liking women are interested in. Note that the percent of porn-liking women is small, so I offer a slightly different interpretation: the people advocating feminist porn as "porn women like" aren't trying to influence porn-loving women; they're trying to figure out what the other 80% like. The study above pretty much shows that feminist porn isn't it -- but that's not a tragedy, every industry is trying to expand into underserved markets and their products sometimes flop. Keep trying, pornographers: eventually you're going to hit on what those non-porn-watching women like. Unfortunately, it'll probably be Twilight.

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When it comes to one-night stands, girth is what does it for the ladies. They tested this by showing women a variety of dildos that "...ranged in size from 4 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long and 7 inches in circumference." Just for reference, that's 1/4" of an inch thick to 2-1/4" thick -- for comparison, a Coke can is about 2-1/2" diameter and 5" tall, so the "big" end of the scale is about the equivalent of two beercans stacked on top of each other. Eh, maybe they couldn't find the model of my penis and that's the next biggest dildo they could find.

Anyhow, the study found that, while women would prefer the Coke-can diameter, just one is plenty, thankuvrymuch: they'd rather be stretched, putting pressure on the clitoris and g-spot, than have their cervix pummeled by someone too long. The study also found that women overestimated the size of penises they'd seen, so stop worrying about size, guys; she's adding inches completely in her head.

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I haven't seen Mike Judge's show, Silicon Valley, but apparently there was a joke about jacking off an entire room of people in it. In line with the geeky context of the show, Judge had really-real scientists, who apparently need more work if they found time for this, to optimize the mathematical prospect of undertaking such a goal.

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A new study has discovered that the hungrier a guy is, the more attracted he is to a larger woman. I'm sure there's an empirical method for determining this, and I'm hoping they have figured out a logarithmic scale, a bell curve of sorts, so if I'm feeling like "well, I had a late lunch, but I'm craving sweets now" will somehow translate to the weight of the woman I'm attracted to right at that moment.

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Just how much electricity can the penis tolerate? Apparently being struck by lightning in the penis has no lasting effects, but scientists still decided to study penis-zapping because the superhero-sounding technology "electrosurgery" is common enough in penis repairs that finally they decided to see just what shocking a penis does to it. Someone should have just asked the electrostim people, they've probably got a lot of, albeit anecdotal, case data on electrifying penises.

This just in: biologists have studied penises more than any other genitalia by a wide margin. Biologists love penises so much, half of all their papers on genitals have been about penises, versus 10% about women.

While I agree, penises are totally the best thing ever, but here's the problem: we don't entirely understand vaginas. Please, biology majors: vulvas are a mystery to men because you're not studying them. When one set of genitals gets more attention than the other, like, 5x as much, then the other one feels frustrated and left out and taken advantage of, while the one that got more attention gets to take a nap. Make biology mutual, and give her parts the attention they are due, biologists.

Lab-grown vaginas are a truly amazing story of modern technology. If you think about it, that's a pretty big part of the body to just make from a person's own cells, implant it in the patient, and have it truly become a part of their body.

Now, I could just link to a story about the fact that we're living in the future, a scientific utopia where such things happen, but then I would miss linking to this lady. Newsreader Robin Baumgarten got the opportunity to tell her viewing audience about this amazing new technology... unfortunately she got hung up on the word "vagina".

Porn lovers, there's a problem: your brain is porn-addled. Like anything that causes a dopamine flush, your brain will adapt to prefer that stimulus. May it be cocaine, or porn, or exercise, or skydiving, your brain is messed up on it. Of course, the article makes it sound like porn falls on the cocaine side of the line, but, being a genuine human bodily response to a stimulus that's already built-in, porn is less to blame than the awesomeness of the orgasm. Also, whoever wrote this article seems to think that BDSM and degrading women sexually is something new. My guess is he just found Hustler.com, but never bothered to actually read a Hustler from the 70s. Or any erotic stories from 18th century France. What it comes down to is: if you really, really enjoy something at a carnal level, it's going to modify your dopamine response, which makes your brain look different on a scan, so moderate, people.

Imagine that interview process. "Yo, dude, you like having sex? Wanna have sex all afternoon? How'd you like to fuck in a huge, loud machine while we take pictures of your insides while you're fucking?"

Who am I kidding, I'd sign up for that in a heartbeat.

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I've been saying it for years, and now there's a study proving it: sex with a condom is just as satisfying. I've known this for years, because of this logical process: the options generally are "have sex with a condom" or "don't have sex at all". Which one sounds more satisfying, men? The reason that this is a debate is that men and women have included a secondary option, "just have sex anyways without a condom", which does nobody any good, especially people who really should be using condoms anyway. I've had more than one woman who I dated when I was younger who seemed embarrassed and/or ready for an argument when the subject of a condom came up. They were quite relieved that I had no complaint, but I got to fuck, she got to fuck, and everyone was happy. What kind of asshole starts an argument with a women who wants him to stick his dick in her? An asshole, that's who. So, take the article to heart, people: condoms are awesome, because they let you fuck, and stop acting like going bareback is an option in the kind of situation where either person thinks a condom sounds like a good idea. Just wrap it and get on with the fucking, it's all good.

Ladies, thank your lucky fucking stars that evolution worked the way it did. SCIENCE! tells us that humans, like most primates and many mammals, would have spiky, barbed penises, except that we happily evolved beyond vaginal ripping. If you thought penises were oddly hairy enough as it is, you have no clue just how bad it could have been. In fact, we've evolved beyond any sharp, spiky hairs, including sensitive whiskers, which is why I'm always trying to stick my head into openings that are too small. Sure, my head gets stuck between the railings more often, but sex is far less brutal and bloody, so I guess you win some, you lose some.

It's a sad, sad state when extinction looms for any creature...but when it's pubic lice, I don't think too many people are complaining. Well, except for the Rotterdam Natural History Museum in the Netherlands. In the interest of completeness, their entomologists went looking for an example of pubic lice, but were unable to find any. The curator promises total anonymity if you're going to donate a few, although they're fuzzy on how the, um, "transfer" will actually occur. The blame for this potential extinction? Deforestation. "When the bamboo forests that the Giant Panda lives in were cut down, the bear became threatened with extinction. Pubic lice can't live without pubic hair."