Posts Tagged 'Sex Ed'

Dancing Genitals!

Sweden is a lot more liberal than the U.S., and it manifests itself in so many cute ways. For example, while Sesame Street might sing about body parts like toes and fingers and tongues, a children's program in Sweden might sing about penises and vaginas. Note there's no real sexual content in the song, it's more about how everybody has one or the other and we pee out of them, which if you think about it is kinda weird that Americans and other conservative countries think that should be hidden from young children for some reason. Just look at most of the complaints: many people claim it shouldn't be seen by young children, but few explain why.


Jeju Loveland!

"Enjoy our humorous sexual theme park" is my most effective pickup line, and by coincidence it's also the headline for the Jeju Loveland theme part website. The park is in South Korea - not North Korea, which is what I originally thought I read, which really confused me - and depicts a variety of sexually-positive imagry for the park visitors. Apparently, the island is a traditional "honeymoon destination", and the prudish Koreans have needed some 'education' to know what to do with their wedding night. I'm sure internet porn has replaced this function across most societies, but Loveland seems to be doing OK despite.


Teens Invent Sex!

This just in: sex has been invented by the latest generation of humans. Until now, humans have reproduced via an asexual method of procreation which existed only in darkened rooms and did not require the participation of even the human releasing their reproductive spores. In this landmark event, "Millenials" have decided that young humans are actually quite equipped to have sexual encounters with whoever they feel like, when they want, but are discovering they are only moderately prepared for the emotional fortitude required to do it in a healthy way. This revelation has stunned - stunned - older generations, who never had sex their entire lives, and are certain there was never anything fun about sex. More on this breaking story as it transpires.

In all seriousness, though, when hasn't there been a shocking - shocking - look at the sexual habits of freshly-minted adults? Just consider every True Stories, Men's Adventure, Skin Mag, and CosmoWannabe from the past hundred years. Salacious views of "the changing landscape of sexuality" has been selling magazines for years, when, really, it comes down to an interesting fringe comprised of a social movement with hedonistic undertones ("hookup culture" versus "free love" versus "flappers") stoking the fears and jealousy of those not involved, while everyone else is pretty much just having sex whenever it becomes available. And so it goes, humanity.

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Abstinence Only: Fail!

What? Really? Abstinence-only sex-ed fails horribly wherever it is applied? I demand more evidence - my Jesus says that abstinence-only must work, so I require another five zillion studies from your so-called 'science' and 'logic' before I will believe you. It's not like Christians believe in a religion which includes an 'evil' character that spreads lies and misleads the faithful that would cause undue hardship to those who mistakenly do his bidding. I'm getting fucking sick of religious zealots. Your church shit doesn't fucking work, so stop pushing it on everyone. You can teach abstinence-only to your own kids, and then teach it to your grandkids when you're 36, loser. Then, go and praise God's will for sending you such a lovely life while you're stuck babysitting so your kid can take his finals. Or, on the other hand, start thinking about your choices, and teach your kids to do the same. Maybe things will turn out a bit more differently, and you can thank God for that, then.

Not Tonight Panties!

What Would Your Mother Do? is a clothes company putting anti-sex messages onto clothes for teen girls and guys. For example, the "Not Tonight" panties, because once they've been making out long enough that he can read her panties, they're totally going to go, "oh, yeah, this is too far." I'm not one to promote teen sex, but this is totally not the way to discourage it. Their customers are going to consist of two groups: out-of-touch moms who are oblivious to the embarrassment they are unleashing upon their straight-laced daughters, and ironic college students.

Because, seriously, "what would mom do?" If your mom had a hot young body, wasn't married and didn't have kids, was mostly naked with a cute teen or twenty-something, and he asked to have sex, your mom would totally fuck him. What would your mom do? She'd totally do that hot dude. How do you think your mom made you, little girl? By fucking your dad back when he was a hot young guy. Yes, your mom totally rode your dad's cock, reverse-cowboy style, he left a hot, sticky mess in her pussy, and that that's how you came into this world. You're slutty mom and horny dad bumped uglies, got her pregnant, and look at your mom now.

And that, dear readers, is how you discourage teen sex.

No Facebook Oral Sex!

Sorry, sexy Facebookers: Facebook thinks oral sex is way too sexy-sex for Facebook friends. What's a little cunnilingus between friends, anyway? I guess Facebook is just for underaged girls to post sexy pictures of themselves, and for people to hook up with people they haven't seen from highschool, two entirely wholesome aspects of online culture. Wouldn't want people to learn anything akin to sexual education online, would we Facebook?

Porn Fund Sex Ed!

Remember the politician who inadvertently expensed her husband's porn viewing habit? She now has an idea: tax pornography to fund sex ed, safe sex, and relationship counseling. In the US, states use cigarette tax to promote quitting programs, alcohol tax to curb drunk driving, so putting a sin tax to good use isn't completely out of whack - plus, she wants "real sex education in schools", and combined with "safe sex" means that she's actually got some smarts. Of course, she was shouted down as "naiive" for her beliefs, because we can't have anybody thinking outside the box. Compared to other ways to deal with the vague Pornography Problem, Ms. Smith seems to actually be putting some thought into it rather than either just banning it outright or ignoring that some people have a problem with their porn. Too bad her peers rated her "the worst performing member of the cabinet," because when she had the power to actually do something worthwhile, it was spent misusing government money and raising anti-terrorist imprisonment to Orwellian levels. I guess some time out of office has made her give what's important some thought.

Abstinence-Only = Over!

After nearly a decade of government support for abstinence-only programs, the Obama administration has cut support in the new budget. It's a rough economy, you know, can't pay for every dumbass program the government has created! Most of the $300 million sex-related budget goes to programs proven to delay sexual intercourse and promote pregnancy and disease prevention, which at least accepts the fact that a huge chunk of the population is going to lose their virginity in their teens, no matter what the President has to say about it. Don't worry, overreacting parents: your church will be more than happy to fill your kids' heads with abstinence-only teachings - it'll still work as well as it ever had.

Bits 'n' Pieces!

What does Joel Stein do when he moves in across from the main office? He and his friend bake brownies, and realize just how totally lame they really are.

Men arrested for soliciting sex in New York are sent to "Johns School". Pearls of wisdom taught are "have a flashlight" and "imagine if your wife were a prostitute" (the latter sounds more like a bedroom game). One member of the class said that if he feels like straying from his wife of 43 years again, he'll find a girlfriend instead. Another classmate made sure to invite a female reporter to sit next to him. It's good to see these classes really do change men's nature! I had no idea showing videos of syphillis infections was so effective.

Five transgendered girls decided to cut corners on their body transformation, and instead went on the advice of a non-doctor who offered to inject silicone directly into their bodies. Whoops, who'da known that something would go horribly, horribly wrong at this so-called "silicone party"? Unfortunately, the non-doctor is still at large, while two of the customers are hovering near death.

Put some clothes on, whores! That's the tone of this article, by a woman who claims to have seen more breasts recently than David Hasselhoff. My question: how do you quantify the number of breasts seen by Hasselhoff lately?

Orgasms in women cause an interesting event in their brains: Many things turn off. While a lot of men would find this ripe for snide comments, I choose not to. I'm too nice for that.

Chinese Sex-Ed dolls are anatomically correct, and much comfier to snuggle with at night!

William Windsor lives his life as a little girl... While I can't object to his life choice, it seems unbelievably impractical. Oh, wait, he's got a lifelong trust fund -- go right ahead, mister! Again, proof that money can buy you whatever you want, even the ability to poop in a diaper all day long.

Pen Gillete and Paul Provenza filmed a huge part of the comedic world all telling the same joke, and made a film. While multiple comedians all telling the same joke might not be everyone's idea of a great time (as it might not if the joke were about chickens and roads), reviewers are all claiming The Aristocrats is the funniest thing ever. My problem with the film: I don't understand the joke. "The Aristocrats" is the punchline? Maybe the joke is more like chickens crossing roads than I thought.

The real problem in child porn has been caught: A guy who sells children's swimsuits from his home via the internet. No, he isn't photographing naked kid's genitals or children in sexual poses (both key indicators of child pornography, according to the law). No, he has photos of kids wearing a thong bathing suit on his website advertising the product, among photos of kids in other swimsuits. Fashion crimes may not be illegal, but I doubt this will ever stand up in court as a crime. Too bad the child advocates fighting child porn are diverting time and money into punishing this guy; there's plenty of kids in real peril and genuine sleazeballs out there creating child porn, that punishing some guy with a website showing completely clothed children is pure folly. I could go into the potential legal liability for parents who buy kiddythongs, swimming pools that allow kiddythongs, and government-owned swimming areas that allow kiddythongs, but it's too asinine to even think about.

And, speaking of teens and sex responsibility, Judy Blume's Forever is back with a new edition. Blume, in this interview, talks about what the book means today, 30 years after it's original publication, in the context of everything that's happened since 1975.

Parents are outraged that their kids would meet with their friends online and safely masturbate with each know, as opposed to the preferred method of having body-on-body sex with one another. A sex expert interviewed tries to reassure parents that kids rarely have virtual sex, so this is an anomaly and not to be worried about it. Way to go, parents! Rest assured, if your kids are acting out sexually (which they are, because that's what teens do), they're doing it in person, actually having sex with each other, instead of those naughty chats with their friends from school. Oh, and the parents who are outraged are, of course, exempt from any responsibility because they have no control over their kids' internet use, right? My God, people, do you hear yourselves?!? Cheers to the kids for naming the arrangement the "Safe Sex Club." Jeers to the one lame kid who recorded video of a girl masturbating and released it on the internet. Child pornography charges for you, bucko!

A UK soap opera innocently showed an unregistered domain name in an episode, and quickly found out how fast pornographers work: before the show's regular viewers could put down their cat and waddle to the computer, the domain name had already been registered and redirected to a porn site. I've wanted to do this many times after seeing a fake domain mentioned on The Simpsons or The Family Guy, but I waddle much too slow.

How to Get Your Husband to Slow Down and Caress Your Hair and Love Doing It: Detroit Free Press writer Susan Ager looks at alternatives to sex-manuals promising mind-blowing intercourse. Having given up on her own library of sex manuals, Ager talks of growing beyond the superficial desire for ultimate sexual gratification, hoping for a more mutual, friendly form of satisfaction. Oh no, she doesn't talk of giving up sex: instead she has taken notice of what fills the space between sexual escapades. Her imaginary happiness-manual title may just be The Joy of Not Even Touching.

Verbal sexual content on TV is more powerful than the visuals, according to a U of Michigan researcher. 2/3 of the respondents were women, which may be a big indicator in why the results were this way: women do prefer erotica and suggestive stories, where men like to see what's going on. It's still interesting to see this applied to prime-time TV shows like Friends, That 70s Show, and Dawson's Creek.

the '.xxx' domain is now a reality, and may be available as soon as this fall, for the awe-inspiring price of $60. High prices, no incentive to drop the .com domain might not take off as fast as people would like.

Condom ads come to prime time. It's kinda surprising, since no unmarried people have sex and all married people procreate without impedment -- who's their target market? Oh, wait...I caught a touch of orthodoxy for a second, but I'm feeling better now. Use condoms, people. They help prevent a lot of painful crap. Sidenote: these new commercials exclude Trojan Man and sexual innuendo. Thank you, Trojan, for ending the funny; it was annoying.

Asexuality is overlooked, but shouldn't be discounted as abnormal any more than homosexuality should. Think about the people you've, I can think of several people who had no interest in sexual relations with anyone.

BBC Sex Ed!

Thank you, BBC! Thanks to the magic of Flash animation, they've concocted a pair of sex-ed animations to help the youth of Brittania. While the young lad compares in the locker room, the girl gets the slick-ass X-Ray specs -- but it's all in the interest of answering the question, "AM I A FREAK?". Now, that's helpful sex-ed! There's a girls and boys section to watch, in hopes of learning even more about how freakishly unfreakish sex is.