We all know how the government pays for millions of dollars in penis pumps - but want a vibrator, ladies? Too fucking bad! Well, in Georgia, at least, you can't buy a vibrator without a doctor's prescription, because you've got a vagina and not a penis, so who cares. Given that nondescript boxes aren't checked for prescriptions by the USPS, she should have success buying one online, but it's the principle of the thing. Why is the government so worried about how women are obtaining orgasms outside of proper medical counsel? Is a long, rubbery purple thing shaped like a forest animal really the kind of thing doctors are the only authority on?

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The cutting edge of dildonics is here - the Vibease is a bluetooth-enabled vibrator, which means you have to sync it to a computer, phone, or tablet -- but that's where things get interesting. Since it's now computerized, they plan on doing all sorts of fun things with it, like syncing it to eBooks, so as you read it twitters your linkedin until you facebook. Or something. Or, you can have somebody in San Francisco diddle you in London, like a less penis-heavy form of ChatRoulette. The options are endless! Unfortunately, it's still in the funding step, so all you get are wild promises and angel-investor-attracting videos. Hopefully it comes to fruition; it sounds like fun.

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British girls have all the fun. UK funshop SexShop365 has released the Happy Ride, a bike seat cover with a built in vibrator, so when you're huffing and puffing down the road you can have an orgasm somewhere around 1st and Main. I suspect this would be of greater benefit on a stationary bike, where you're less likely to fall over, or get funny looks from the guy in a beat-up F150. If they start putting vibrators in everything that women sit on, nothing's going to get done once they make the Office Chair Happy Seat. Too much distraction, and the janitor hates all that clean-up afterwards.

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Similar to this - if you ever wanted to see what it was like to watch a woman struggle to do something intellectual while bring brought to orgasm, here's your chance: Clayton Cubitt has filmed sexy women trying to read a book out loud while sitting on a vibrator. Too bad they don't get very far; Clockwork Orange is one of my favorites.

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Ah, a woman after my own heart. Let's say you enjoy both the fun of electronics hacking, and the pleasure of diddling yourself? You figure out how to redesign your vibrator for maximum efficiency. I've wondered this for quite a while and messed around with remote control vibes before, and I figured that there's a lot of technology here to be manipulated that nobody has looked at before in quite the same light. Good for you, Scanlime vagina hacker!

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I'm not sure if this is terrifying, or if I should give the inventor a high-five. The "Little Rooster" Alarm Clock uses the most modern of technologies to rouse the females around us to wakefulness by slowly increasing the vibrating portion, which is installed upon her vulva before going to sleep. So, ladies be sleeping, and when the preapproved time arrives, the little plastic thing begins to vibrate...then some more...then some more...until she's either too annoyed to continue, or an orgasm or two have occured. They don't say just how customizeable it is, but all I gotta say is if you can sync it to Google Calendar, this will be the biggest selling vibrator ever.

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Two studies show that lots of people have vibrators, half of women use them regularly, and they're good for sexual health. Yes, that includes guys, who've used them on their partners, but their use reflects a greater interest in their own sexual health as a results. The study didn't show that vibrators themselves caused health, but that people who gave a shit about their health tended to thus pay more attention to their genitals than they otherwise would. So, ladies, if you haven't got a vibrator yet, you best do so: I can guarantee it'll be better for you in the long run, and you'll definitely use it more than the treadmill that's busy holding up last winter's Christmas decorations and a box of sweaters.

What do you do when technology giant Nortel lays both you and your wife off? Get into the unemployment line? Work for McDonald's? Maybe, just maybe, you'll be an inventor and produce a new sex-toy design. I think Gracie actually has one of those; the toymaking duo also have something entirely new in the works: "I discovered some technology developed by NASA that has never been applied to the sex toy industry," which can mean only one thing: alien orgasms. You heard it here first!

*psssssssssssssss* "Here's your problem, little lady: looks like you're about 15psi too low. We'll pump 'em back up and you'll be runnin' fine." From my scientific research, the toy in the photo is some sort of "clitoral pump", which means that she's using it wrong. A clitoral pump is calibrated all different from a tit pump - it's a 'wet measure' versus 'dry measure' thing, I think. You don't want to overfill a pair of breasts, you know. You'll start cornering really rough.

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Get yourself to a Babeland right away tomorrow: they're hoping to counteract tax-day stresses by handing out free vibrators. If you're already a Babeland customer, you probably have one of your own already, so do your own good deed for tax-day: get a free vibrator, and give it to someone who really needs it, like your accountant. They'll appreciate it.

There are thirteen sex toys for men? I mean, at least 13? "My Expressions Live" has made a list, in case you need a more complex way to tug your tommy. The pumps, though, never work for shit; trust me.

If your dick feels too much teeth when you're getting a hummer, you might want to invest in the Blowguard. This is a horseshoe of silicone, designed to fit over the lower teeth, to protect delicate bits from the sharp edges therein. Not content with just that, the front edge of the Blowguard has a tiny vibrator inside, to add to the experience. I'm one of those guys who doesn't cum from a blowjob, but I do love going down on my gal, and the blowguard works well for her, too, at least according to this review. I haven't got one yet, but Gracie might have to splurge a little! (via)

Hoo, boy -- the Japanese make some handy accessories for their game consoles. Take this one for instance: the trance vibrator. It even lives up to it's name, as this product tester discovered.