Posts Tagged 'Food'

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Charley's Boob Reviews!

Charley C. is a foodie who likes to review things on Yelp. There's something different about Charley, though: his photography skills are excellent, although they don't pick up the food very well. It just goes to show that it's not always the food that makes a meal: it's the company that you eat with!


Hungry = Sexy!

A new study has discovered that the hungrier a guy is, the more attracted he is to a larger woman. I'm sure there's an empirical method for determining this, and I'm hoping they have figured out a logarithmic scale, a bell curve of sorts, so if I'm feeling like "well, I had a late lunch, but I'm craving sweets now" will somehow translate to the weight of the woman I'm attracted to right at that moment.

Pic via.


That green thing? It's an apple, and I'm not sure what Nicole is planning on doing, but if she's making applesauce she better get started - after that apple, she needs to do about 10 more to boobpress if we're going to have enough for porkchops tonight!


Perfect Burger!

God damn it, I need to stop blogging while hungry. Caveman Circus shows us their award-winning hamburger recipe, and now I gotta figure out where I left my meat grinder. Tasty stuff.

For Your Health!

When I was a kid, National Lampoon was awesome because it was full of naked boobs but nobody thought of it as porn. In France, apparently every magazine is awesome like that. Below is a fake ad from the French magazine Hara Kiri showing proper use of potatoes for female hygine. Mmmmm, potatoes.


Too Much Sausage!

Hey, lady, while you're trying to eat two sausages at once, your hams fell out of your coat. And I think your problem is that you're using the wrong utensil altogether. I know you're drunk as a skunk, but treat those sausages with decency, why don't you?


Steak Bag!

The Native Americans would be proud: Marlow & Sons is using the entire animal after its slaughtered. If you eat at Marlow & Sons, you can buy a bag made from the cow you just ate...or a football, or a wallet, or whatever foodflesh-related leather you might need. So next time you and your buddies play a pickup game of touch football, you can reminisce on the au gratin potatoes and in-season veggies that went into the meal that you turned into muscle in order to throw that football from the pig you ate. Fucking trippy, that shit right here.

Take All Seven Inches!

Ah, Burger King, we know you like square butts, but now you want to shove your big 7-incher into women's faces. Now, I know the internet is rife with 4chan photoshops, but this appears to be real: however, it's an overseas ad, so we Americans will have to find another reason to jack off while waiting in line for your Steakhouse Mushroom & Swiss burger.

Food Better Than Sex!

A survey has shown that men prefer food over sex. I don't think they're going for the "which can you go longer without" like that women's survey a while back. I think men are smart enough when offered "which would you give up for two weeks, food or sex?" and realize slow, agonizing death comes from one of those. No, the survey asks which gives the most lasting pleasure, food or sex, and food wins out. Note, for one, the survey was about Australians, and we all know they've got fucked up morals, and also the survey was given out by an ice cream manufacturer. Of course men are going to say ice cream makes them happier than sex when asked by an ice cream maker - if their sex partner asked, "does sex or ice cream make you happier?" hell yeah they're going to say sex; it's the one most likely given for free by the questioner.

Cirque Du Hoagies

Cirque Du Soleil must be really pushing their performers: you know you're in a cut-rate Mia Michaels performance when you're expected to eat lunch while performing. I mean, come on - and subs? Couldn't they have done something like corndogs or popsicles, something even remotely sexy? I mean, really: if the Quizno's guy saw these two, he'd stop fucking his oven.

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Waffle House: Landmark!

The first Waffle House - which has spawned many across this fine waffle-lovin' country - is now a historic monument. I have to admit I've never been to a Waffle House. They haven't ventured this far out into the wilderness. I've been to an IHOP, several Perkins, a Cracker Barrel, numerous truck stop chains, but never a Waffle House. Given the historic nature of their business, I better get to one soon, lest I embarass myself due to my negligence of great landmarks in American history!