Posts Tagged 'Medicine'

It Doesn't Go There!

Ah, the end of the year list: some are better than others, but when they're simultaneously cautionary and hilarious, you can't lose. This list from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits should make you think twice before sticking things where they aught not to go. For example: "INSERTED A LONG BALLOON IN PENIS TO HAVE GIRLFRIEND BLOW UP FOR SEXUAL STIMULATION AND IT BROKE"...."it" broke....I hope that means the balloon broke, and not the penis. Either way, ballooning the urethra doesn't sound like a good time to me, but, hey, everyone's gotta do their own thing.

Pic via.

Prescription Vibrator!

We all know how the government pays for millions of dollars in penis pumps - but want a vibrator, ladies? Too fucking bad! Well, in Georgia, at least, you can't buy a vibrator without a doctor's prescription, because you've got a vagina and not a penis, so who cares. Given that nondescript boxes aren't checked for prescriptions by the USPS, she should have success buying one online, but it's the principle of the thing. Why is the government so worried about how women are obtaining orgasms outside of proper medical counsel? Is a long, rubbery purple thing shaped like a forest animal really the kind of thing doctors are the only authority on?


Spray Her And She Gets Horny

Yeah, we'll get out the jokes about the number of men volunteering to squirt ladies with some of their own personal blend, but they've actually been studying what happens to women when you give them a spritz of testosterone. The study found 261 women with diminished libido, and sprayed them with testosterone for sixteen weeks. They found that the women experienced an increased in 'sexually satisfying events.' Sounds like you can bottle up a horny woman and turn her on with a squirt, eight?It turns out, the women in the placebo group also had an increase in sexually satisfying events. So, it really doesn't matter what you squirt her with, as long as she believes it'll make her more sexually satisfied. For the best sex ever, here's the steps:1. Convince gal-pal that the bottle contains sex-enhancer;2. fill bottle with bacon-scented spray;3. Enjoy bacon and sex simultaneously.Man, I'm hard as a steel pipe just thinkin' about it.