The UK is suggesting something horrible: husbands will have to discuss porn-watching with their wives. Not sure exactly why that's brought up, other than to maybe scare men who are too embarassed to discuss porn with their spouses, but any which way it's another reason the UK's hope to porn-block everybody is going to be trouble. If the guy's already chatting with his spouse about his porn, awesome, there's really not much of a big deal there. If he's scared to discuss porn, well, then there's something that's a bigger problem than having to ask your internet company permission to access porn. Best leave it alone and let people manage their own home's porn access, lest the government have to deal with a bunch of new divorces over the porn conflicts they're going to cause. Oh, wait: they have to block porn because TERRORIST, so it's best not to talk about it at all or James Bond will show up at your door to drag your porn-loving ass to Guantanamo.

Ah, morality works best when data is cherrypicked. A large US university has done a landmark study showing that sex is better if you wait until you're married. Of course, it's one of the largest religious schools in the US, but what advantage would they have to publish such results? I know that all of my best experiences have been with somebody who's been morally fearful of doing the thing that they're doing for the first time at that moment - my dentist choices work exactly that way. "Excuse me, Mr. Dentist: have you been terrified of teeth up until only a few minutes ago? Hop on in - my cavities are ready for you!" The study, of course, only asked married people - it would be too hard to ask voluntarily single people if their best sexual experiences have been before getting married. I think what they've failed to realize is that the sex you're getting now is the best sexual experience you've ever had. The study's main point is that people who wait until marriage for sex have better relationships overall, but there's a correlation/causation problem here...when Brigham Young's Mormon Manufacturing Plant is citing studies which bolster Mormon Teachings, I doubt that a proper comparison of other possible causes, but, hey, if you're questioning your faith and need facts to reassure you, just keep doing what feels wrong, because someday, Brigham Young University promises everything will be better - just look at the data.

Hugh Hefner, Mr. Bachelor of the Universe, has decided to marry "Playboy Bunny" Crystal. I'm never one to begrudge a guy getting married, so my hat's off to you, Mr. Hefner. Only an asshole would make old jokes. My only worry: what happens to the Girls Next Door now? It's the only thing scheduled on my Tivo - do those things ever die of disuse? At least those dumbas twins are out of the picture: jesus christ, they need to go work at the post office for a while to get some freakin perspective about where they sit in the scheme of things. Hef, on the other hand, fights of First Amendment rights, donates a bunch of his money, always seems to be a genuinely nice guy, so if he has found a hot piece of ass that he wants to devote the rest of his life to, here's to you, Mr. Awesomest Man In The World.

If you want a long-term relationship to work, you better fuck at least three times a week. This comes from a poll in the UK, which also says to kiss and cuddle several times a day, which sounds like a lot of work...but will certainly help you get to the thrice-weekly boinkings. It's awfully hard to work up to sex with someone when you've barely touched in days!