Posts Tagged 'Phone Sex'

How Many Dildos!

Phone sex is like erotica, in that you can create totally unrealistic fantasies that would make sex a lot less sexy if you tried it. Like this guy's fantasy of just shoving dildo after dildo into a woman's rectum. Humans aren't rubber duckies, a shapely shell with an empty volume inside - unless that's your kink, which is OK by me.


Phone Sex Girlfriend!

Ah, just a day in the life of a PSO's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, in at least this case, I think, I don't really get it. I hope she remembers to turn that voice off when her grandma calls to wish her a happy birthday, that could be embarrassing.


More from this gallery >>

More from this gallery >>

Foiled By Sex Lines!

The way you'd think it, every other phone number directs to a sex line. In yesterday's news, those now foiled by phone-sex typos include a regional cereal company, and the fucking White House. Makes you wonder if graphic designers and secretaries are getting paid a little something under the table to flip digits, because there's benefit in a spam-like conversion rate where 2% of international reporters trying to get a hold of Mr. Obama got the sex line and thought, hell, as long as I'm here...

Phone Sex: Not Me!

Those evil, evil identity thieves! An 86-year-old woman was stunned when the bills for a phone sex service showed up in her husband's name. She knew, she knew he couldn't have done such a thing - he doesn't have a credit card...hell, he doesn't even have a phone: he's been dead for twenty years. Identity thieves exploited a loophole in a shifty payment service, applying for credit using dead people's information, then - most likely - running fake phone-sex services and calling themselves. The payment service has agreed to drop existing charges, but that hasn't stopped new bills from arriving.

Phone Sex!

Oooh, yeah, baby, that's just how phone sex works...except I'm the one in the old maternity shirt most of the time, though:

Fly The Friendly Skies

You spend all day at thirty thousand feet, sitting backwards in the plane, jumping whenever anyone pushes that dumb need some time to unwind, relax, get your g-spot tickled by a fellow stewardess, just the usual. I'd say the bright red underwear is probably the wrong choice with a white shirt...but who am I to complain?

Phone Sex Ads of the Eighties

Here's some more phone sex ads (see previous) -- these are later, from a 80's Hustler (I only read it for the articles, of course). Unlike the earlier ads, these are full color, which only enhances the, um, quality of the wares presented for sale.
The "service that makes you feel special" sounds more like free continental breakfast and dry cleaning at Holiday Inn...the use of replacing parts of words with the word "cum" lets you know that you're in for somethin more like going out for coffee with people from the office than jizzing on the phone while listening to a woman finger herself.
She's a Beverly Hills sexpot! See the books and the chess set? She's smart, and she's got deep sexual secrets! That equals money, smarts, and batshit insane because of sexual repression -- she sounds fun, but don't tell her your real name.
Before you get to excited, take a closer look -- this babe is sitting on the toilet. And, no, the cover's not closed -- she's actually relieving herself, while on the phone. Not that there's anything wrong with it, if you're into that kind of thing, but if you're not and you were just looking for a quick phone-sex call, she'd teach you pretty quick to check the ads closer.
Come on, buy one of her pictures -- she can't even afford a freakin' chair or desk for her office! That can't possibly be comfortable.
Don't ask me what she's doing there -- I had to really up the contrast just to see anything, and it looks like she's trying to hop over a too-taught garden hose. Or maybe it's a rake handle, possibly a handle of a space. Whatever horticultural implement, it must feel good, as she's got a horny look on her face. Gardening does that to women, or so I've been told.
This last one looks like it could have come from one of today's magazines -- simple, universal text, generic, sexy gal: it's almost preferable to the rest even though I need to remember that this lady, in her twenties when this photo was taken in the 70s or early 80s, is almost my mom's age now. Creepy. If you were just online looking for some hot photos, and found this phone sex ad that looks strangely like your mom, well...if it's any consolation, I'd do her -- hard -- if she still looks anything like this photo. You're welcome.

Vintage Phone Sex Ads

Remember phone sex? It's what people did before chatrooms, although the business is still around (although it's gone high-tech). For obvious reasons, I've obscure the phone numbers...I doubt the current owner has any interest in talking dirty to you. No, really, while it's possible, it's highly improbable.

Why, WHY?!

A month and a half?!!? What's WRONG with me? Like most blogs, I hate to resort of posting simply to announce that I haven't posted anything.

Frankly, this site bores me a little. I haven't come up with a voice for it, unlike some other sex-centred websites. I'm not sure what I need to put here.

Plus, I've been occupying my time having hot, juicy phonesex with a certain lovely woman. She's told me I'm pretty good.

OBLIGATORY SOAPY PIX! Not one -- but TWO sexy soapy women. Unfortunately, I'm not in the picture, so these women have nothing to play with but each other.