Those PornHub guys have done it again: they have laid out the OS battle in terms of porn usage. So, the next time you're shopping for portables, buy an Android phone and an Apple iPad, those are the leaders for watching people fuck while you're away from home. The most interesting chart is the one below: how long do users stick around? Windows, Mac, and Linux users are all within 30 seconds of each other, with Mac users lasting the longest. So, next time you're feeling amorous, check their PC first: those Windows guys might not last as long!

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Have trouble staying awake while learning how to program computers? Code Babes has the solution for you: they strip every time you get something right. It's like Billy Madison has come to life, complete with Steve Buscemi wearing lipstick! Or, I think so, I didn't actually sign up for the site, I'm not good with computers, let alone programming. Anyhow, this objectification has turned some people off, hence Code Dicks, a counter-website full of douche programmers (otherwise known as Experts-Exchange.com, amirite?) What I think both miss is: if a person is so comfortable with a computer that they want to code, they can reward their success with free internet porn anyway. Maybe the goal is to get 14-year olds behind a NetNanny firewall to learn computers, because the hope for a woman in bra and panties is a long ways from encouraging me to learn how to develop websites or SEO my CSS.

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Computer audio has always felt behind the audiophile curve, probably largely because MP3s are generally crappy compared to analog or (shudder) CDs, but with FLAC and improved processors, quality is impressing even the pickiest of listeners. To compliment the higher quality audio we expect from your computers, Hunting and Collecting has "La Boite", a concept audio station for docking your laptop. Rather than relying on the crappy chip in the laptop, La Boite has a USB connection and its own audio chipset, along with audiophile-grade parts, to make it a competitor for space in your listening room. Plus, if you get totally high listening to Pink Floyd while lying on the floor, it totally looks like a giant spider is standing right over you:

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I used to be a big AI freak, and not just the odd scifi movie with Osmet in it. I used to wonder about what it would take to make a bot that would be useful, not just a parlor trick.

Eliza is one of the oldest bots - I played it on a TRS-80 decades ago. This guy had the inspired idea to take the Eliza engine and turn it into a chatroom sexbot. He's kept logs of some of the 'bots conversations, ranging from people who actually succeed with the bot, dumb people who don't really understand cybersex, to people who catch on to the ruse. I suppose that the success of the bot is that it's inanely incoherent -- just like most chatrooms are.

Geeks out there will appreciate that my website is written in 100% Perl. Perl isn't the greatest of languages, it isn't the prettiest of languages, but I'll be darned if it isn't the sexiest of languages.

You doubt me? Just look at the fun these ladies are having with their Perl manual. Oooh, ladies - I'll make your 'O-Face' a regular expression!

I would, however, be remiss if I didn't point out that the erotic Perl website above was written in PHP, rather than Perl. Kids today and their fancy new languages don't know how to get off like us seasoned pros can!