Posts Tagged 'Romance'

First Kiss Parodies!

Last week, artist Tatia Pilivea released a video depicting several very attractive and cooperative strangers kissing each other for the first time. The universe quickly took offense with the video -- which shows how effective Pilivea was -- and everyone with a video camera made their own version of it, each one trying to be more 'real' than the other. First times are weird and gross, at least for most people who own video cameras, so videos like the hilarious First Handjob came into being, or Playboy finds an excuse to make Playmates kiss each other, but the one who definitely did it the best is Vice magazine, who really got really-real strangers to kiss each other on camera. Yes, including a creepy old guy and sloppy sounds, which really makes a 'first time' what it is: a unique experience for those involved, and less for an audience like the original was.

Steak and a BJ!

Well, here we are again: one month after the one day of the year your girl is guaranteed all the romancing she wants, the boy gets all the romancing he wants on Steak and a BJ Day. Because, I mean, guys, on Valentine's Day you had to suffer the indignation of eating at a nice restaurant with your lover, then went back and fucked in your bedroom -- don't you deserve more? Like Valentine's Day, Steak and a BJ Day is lusted over by the single members of your gender because the feel they deserve to be showered with the selfish parts of the holiday. Those in relationships who properly celebrate the day are doing so out of their own mutual enjoyment. So, single people: stop fetishising a single day of the year because you feel you deserve something people lavishly write about on the internet. Everyone in relationships: if you're longing for one day a year to experience romance and sex, you're fucking wrong. Steaks and blowjobs come to those who deserve them, not because Google Calendar dinged on your phone. Today's holiday, like Valentine's Day, is merely here to remind you what you should be doing the rest of the year to show your fondness for the opposite sex, not the other way around.

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