Last week, artist Tatia Pilivea released a video depicting several very attractive and cooperative strangers kissing each other for the first time. The universe quickly took offense with the video -- which shows how effective Pilivea was -- and everyone with a video camera made their own version of it, each one trying to be more 'real' than the other. First times are weird and gross, at least for most people who own video cameras, so videos like the hilarious First Handjob came into being, or Playboy finds an excuse to make Playmates kiss each other, but the one who definitely did it the best is Vice magazine, who really got really-real strangers to kiss each other on camera. Yes, including a creepy old guy and sloppy sounds, which really makes a 'first time' what it is: a unique experience for those involved, and less for an audience like the original was.

Those amusing lads over at Santa Enchilada have documented the seven stages of first-time sex. It sounds like a team effort, in which their five writers put together all of their experiences (seeing as there were only 3 sexual experiences between them all, the other two got to use examples from television sitcoms) and narrow it down to one common list. A few near-misses, that were not unanimous but highly represented, were the steps entitled "crying," "lying about contraception", and "pretending your partner is somebody more attractive".