Posts Tagged 'Audio'

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Baby, It's Cold Outside!

It has always been a little creepy, but the All Christmas All The Time radio station plays it every couple hours, so it can't be all that bad, right? Em & Lo go through, line by line, analyzing the rapey song "Baby It's Cold Outside", and I think it pretty much, difinitively, shows that lady should really go, despite the temperature outdoors

They include a clip from the movie "Neptune's Daughter", which features the song acted out by Star Trek's Kahn, who physically stops the woman, grabs her, and generally acts like a Star Trek villain -- but then halfway through it switches tracks, and has Red Skelton fending off a rapey woman with the roles reversed. Sorry, still in appropriate, 1940s America. The argument is often that the person refusing sex in the song is doing it demurely, to not seem too anxious to hop in bed -- interestingly, in the video, the woman appears to finally, voluntarily give in to Kahn's advances, but the guy with the woman? He, clearly, is physically restrained and can't escape, and with fear in his eyes the woman turns off the lights. Don't congratulate him, he's gonna need counseling when she's done. "Baby It's Cold Outside" should probably be retired, and if the fear in Red Skelton's eyes doesn't convince you, I don't know what will.


Pornhub Records!

PornHub, the king of adult tube sites, is branching out into other media by establishing its own record label called Pornhub Records. It would appear that Pornhub Records isn't about releasing pornographic records, but instead focusing on NV-17-level music for its customers, sort of a culture-filling product. They don't have any albums out yet, although there's apparently a contest to write their theme song. My tip: go the Gilligan's Island route and start with the structure of the song "Mary Had A Little Lamb" and go from there: it's a guaranteed winner.

Rammstein Dildos!

Rammstein, being, well, Rammstein, released a box set of their album Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da, complete with six rubber penises. Here's a description:

This unique version of Rammstein's sixth studio album, Liebe Ist Fur All Da, comes expansively packaged in a flight case style box. The package contains: the deluxe edition version of the album, six sex toys (numerically corresponding to each member of the band), handcuffs and lubricant.

Sadly, the dildos weren't molded from the bandmembers, but beggars can't be choosers when it comes to a dildo ensemble.

Being a limited edition and all, it's not in "print" anymore, but even Amazon shows it as available from some sellers.


Car Exhaust Speakers!

Looking like a statue of a running octopus, iXoost is a speaker made from a racecard exhaust header. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Not only that, it's an iPod dock, because if there's one thing you want to do with thousands of dollars of speakers is make it primarily compatible with a meh-level audio source. But, when the objective is to look good, I guess this is a step up from Bose, so I'm sure there's an audience for these out there.


Quality Vinyl!

Vinyl is still making an amazing comeback, but if you've got the time here's an excellent read on how there's more to a quality vinyl album than the medium. It's mostly for musicians wanting to release on vinyl, but I still found it interesting, if only to remind me that the audio that gets cut into the vinyl is ultimately the most important part of the record.



Recently, somebody tried selling a Wangcaster on Craigslist.
Yes, you read that right: a Wangcaster. It's apparently a guitar shaped like a huge penis with balls, apparently to clue in really, really stupid people that don't get the symbolism of a regular guitar's shape in a man's hands. A little detective work proves the Craigslist guy stole the image from here, which proves that the guitar in the picture belongs to a guy in the Japanese band Tainted DickMen. Shame on you, Craigslist dude: everyone knows the best way to gain attention is to post your own big penis, not the musical penis of a Japanese rock star.

Bass Egg!

There's a soon-to-be-released product called the Bass Egg, which is pretty much a speaker without a cone: it's designed to make any surface the woofer cone, in theory with the right surface it'll be more effective than a regular speaker. Now, Howard Stern knows how to use bass to a woman's benefit, so you audiophile guys better have one installed in the bedroom. Disconnect the midrange and tweeters, crank up the Skrillex, and she'll reach orgasm before the drop.


MidMod Record Console!

Now this is stylish: a midcentury-modern styled record storage shelf with built-in turntable. I like that sloped shelf underneath - perfect for flipping through albums while keeping them relatively flat. The best thing is, anyone with a modicum of woodworking skills could reproduce this with a few basic tools, like those old 'make your own modern furniture' books from the '50s.


Turntable Tits!

Last week it was cold enough that your nipples could cut glass, but I still don't think they'd work very well as a turntable stylus. Didn't stop this lady from trying, though.

Aside from her amazing fashion sense, let's take a look at Boobs McGee's album collection. There's a couple more albums than in the picture below, but all together we've got:

Unfortunately, I don't have a high enough resolution picture to tell what her nipple-singles are.


Passion For Vinyl!

Writer Robert Haagsma has put together a coffee-table book for lovers of vinyl. Called Passion For Vinyl, Haagsma has compiled photos, trivia, and interviews with Henry Rollins and a bunch of northern-european names. Sorry, I'm not quite culturally literate to know them all -- which is why I need this book, right? Doesn't seem to be available in the U.S. (maybe here?), so sorry Secret Santa, you're going to come up short this year I guess. It comes with a 45rpm 7" single, which slips into the book cover, making it the most epic liner notes ever.

Vinyl Still Growing!

As we've noted just a couple months ago, vinyl sales continue to climb, this time with info from the UK, which has hit a half a million in vinyl sales for the first time in a decade. Yeah, that's only 1%, but that's doing a lot better than tapes, Minidiscs, reel-to-reel, 8-Track, and wax cylinder combined. One dumb statistic: almost 4% of vinyl purchasers admit to not owning a turntable, which means hipsters have spread to the British Isles already.

Press Your Ashes!

Looking for a unique way to store your remains after death? And Vinyly will take your cremated ashes and press them into a vinyl record. You get to decide what's on the album, so make sure you get your tracks on tape before you sluff off this mortal coil. Just make sure nobody sticks the album in a Ronco record vacuum, those things clean away all sorts of dust, including you.


Make A Guitar!

So, you bought a bunch of woodworking tools, and all you've made so far is 54 of those "old lady butt" cut-outs for people's flower gardens? Pick up your tools and do something awesome: make yourself a guitar by buying this DVD at Amazon. It's only the beginning: you'll be making a double bass before you know it, and that kinda looks like old-lady ass if you look at it right.


Topless For Axl!

When I go to concerts, sure, there's cool music, but nothing amazing ever happens. At the concerts I've seen, whan a fan jumps on state they just get thrown off by security. When you're Axl Rose, the fan takes off their top and shows their tits to everyone. You can watch the full video of her 'assets' here.


Vinyl Sales Up!

For several years now, vinyl record sales have been continuing to rise from their near-death slump in the early 1990s. That includes turntable sales, which are seeing smaller growth, which means either people are buying more second-hand turntables, dusting off their own old turntables, or turntable owners are simply just buying more vinyl. Top selling vinyl albums? Hipster stuff, the Beatles, and Adele. Adele sold so many albums in the past years in every format, I'm sure most of her numbers for vinyl were split between people who could find no other copy of Adele's album, and well-meaning grandparents who haven't heard of any newer audio formats and couldn't find the tape cassette section in Sam Goody's.


Grado Mahogany Headphones!

Grado Labs has been producing high-quality phonograph styluses since the 1950s, but today I just learned that Grado also makes these gorgeous mahogany headphones. Since they come from Grado, I expect them to conform to their usual high standards of audio quality, even if I'm not so sure that a ring of hardwood provides much difference in sound from a three-inch transducer. I suspect they reduce weight, which would be nice. I speak of this in the theoretical, because I'm going to have to work my ass off to ever afford a pair. Maybe someday, kids.


Noise Vibrations!

Digging through these old Easyriders is fun - you learn so much! I found the sextoy below in one of their 'recommended purchases', right below the beer-can sling you hang around your neck and a folding shotgun. An audio-controlled vibrator? That's awfully high-tech for the seventies; I didn't even know similar products still exist, updated for the iPod generation. One difference is (and the picture doesn't show it) that the 1970s version had a separate amp box, which doesn't sound too comfortable during practical use. I imagine that, a handy person could take out the low-powered amp it came with and put in a nice Mcintosh tube amp for rumblier lows. That's the thing with off-the-shelf audio equipment: it's always a good idea to replace the important parts with something a little more high-end.


Joey Ramone's Records!

Today, RR Auctions starts taking bids on a bunch of Joey Ramone's stuff. It doesn't look like there's a lot of rare or awesome records, but these albums were owned by Joey Ramone which means these LPs have gotten more pussy than you ever had. If you want rare and cool, pick up his passport and give it to bouncers when they ask for your ID: I guarantee you won't be hassled. Between the glasses and the jackets and the shirts, you can trade in all your crappy old Nirvana and Soundgarden t-shirts and replace your entire wardrobe with stuff that smells like Joey Ramone.


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