This just in: biologists have studied penises more than any other genitalia by a wide margin. Biologists love penises so much, half of all their papers on genitals have been about penises, versus 10% about women.

While I agree, penises are totally the best thing ever, but here's the problem: we don't entirely understand vaginas. Please, biology majors: vulvas are a mystery to men because you're not studying them. When one set of genitals gets more attention than the other, like, 5x as much, then the other one feels frustrated and left out and taken advantage of, while the one that got more attention gets to take a nap. Make biology mutual, and give her parts the attention they are due, biologists.

Betty Dodson is in her seventies and still teaching women how to diddle themselves. After writing "Sex For One" in 1973, she now runs Bodysex Workshops (site appears down) with her partner, Carlin Ross, teaching inexperienced humans how to use their funnest parts.

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Lab-grown vaginas are a truly amazing story of modern technology. If you think about it, that's a pretty big part of the body to just make from a person's own cells, implant it in the patient, and have it truly become a part of their body.

Now, I could just link to a story about the fact that we're living in the future, a scientific utopia where such things happen, but then I would miss linking to this lady. Newsreader Robin Baumgarten got the opportunity to tell her viewing audience about this amazing new technology... unfortunately she got hung up on the word "vagina".

Kelly Neff has been a sex educator for seven years, and nothing prepared her for these five truths. #1 is that there's no "normal", so the fact that you're sexually attracted to lawnchairs is perfectly fine, so stop losing sleep over it, dude.

BTW: The woman below is not Kelly Neff, she just happens to be a naked sexy teacher, and is very pleasant to look at.

An acne treatment clinic had found themselves under attack - attack by Russians looking for sperm-covered faces! Apparently someone has mis-typed a URL, directing facial-loving Russians to the acne-clinic's website thefacialroom.com. All this extra traffic has rubbed them the wrong way - most likely because they're paying for bandwidth by the meg - and all this porny traffic is causing some disturbation on their end. Rather than just taking their site down, they put up a message acknowledging all the facial attention...I'll bet it's because because sperm is good for acne, and they just don't want to admit it.

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In Iceland, there's apparently a penis museum, which is also the most thorough penis museum, because it also contains a human penis. As you might guess, there's a story behind that, as a new documentary will show. Apparently, two different men (as opposed to this guy) believe they have the most museum-quality penises in the world, and were each vying to be the one whose penis is exhibited in the museum. Unfortunately, two-penis guy is probably the only one to deserve to be in the museum, but beggars can't be choosers when it comes to penis donations.

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It's that time of year, people: pay your taxes, lest you end up like erotica writer Zane, who is short over a third of a million dollars on her taxes at the moment. Damn, if I sold that much erotica that I'd owe that much in state taxes, pat me on the back, because that means I made it. Who knows if that tax due is 100% accurate, though, who knows where the state got their data, but even at half that just goes to show how much money there is in erotca today.

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This just in: North Dakota men have the largest penises in the U.S.! Not that it means anything, but when you think about it, if you're gonna live in a desolate arctic wasteland where your career options are rancher, farmer, oil rig roustabout, coal miner, or any other deadliest jobs of the 1880s, you've got something massive dangling between your legs.

South Dakota would have come in at second place, but in tiny Rhode Island they have that one guy, which threw the averages way off.

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People are really attached to their celphones - no, like really attached, to the point that a cellphone is an extension of their body, to the point that cellphones are becoming inextricably tied to sexuality. Planned Parenthood is on track, using cellphones and apps to connect with sexually-active youngsters. When the days of risking being on AOL naughty chatrooms via the family computer are long gone, and people carry around a computer faster and more connected than that in their pocket, it's no surprise that people are taking their sexiness wherever their phone can go -- and NY Mag has 20 people's example of using their phones to get it on with other humans.

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Hey, everybody, it's World Vasectomy Day! Oprah's walking through the streets with a pair of Fiskers yelling, "YOU GET A VASECTOMY, AND YOU GET A VASECTOMY, EVERYONE GETS A VASECTOMY!" No, not really, it's just that getting out the awareness of getting snipped is a good thing. Just don't chew on it, otherwise the doc will make you wear a cone. They're even doing vasectomies live online, in case you wanna watch.

Here's good work to have if you can get it: Sexologist Megan Andelloux was paid $1600 to talk to students about sex at University of New Hampshire, plus incidental costs. Not bad, not bad -- but what is bad is that the newspaper considered this news. No, not that a sex expert was informing students, or that there's any sort of need for this sort of information, but that it was expensive. What are the other speaker fees, how's Megan compare? The tone and formatting of the article seems to imply that the money was less of an issue than the fact that people played with strap-on dildos. Nice, news-collecting, there, New Hampshire Union Leader.

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Here's some news, guys: your penis anxiety is all in your head. OK, yeah, women do say penis size matters in bed, but the study shows that men are far more freaked out about it than is relevant to extracurricular activities. Yeah, I'm huge as hell, but now I know I need to stop worrying about it. Ah, that is a big weight off my shoulders.

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God damn it ladies: stop being all sexy and shit in your mommy blogs. I know, it's a Catch-22 -- you're women, so everything you do is sexy. It's just the way it is, but you need to reign it in, because we're getting tired of ways to objectify you. I mean, MILF is so 2002. There must be something new you can do.

Sure, first it's illegal to rob a pornography store, and now they're making it illegal to pretend to rob a pornography store? Which one IS it, prudes? Two women have been arrested for pretending the pornshop was robbed and blaming some guy. Their plan was undone by not having their stories straight, and leaving tire tracks that lead the cops right to you. Nobody ever said you have to be smart to work at a porn store, and in Montana there's apparently no minimum IQ.

Honi Soit, a student-run newspaper at the University of Sydney, had thousands of the next issue confiscated because you can see vulvas, oh so many vulvas. Initially, they intended to publish without black bars, but an editorial decision was made to add black bars. The person they sent to photoshop in the bars was evidently inexperienced with pre-press requirements, so the bars came out semi-transparent. More info from the editorial team here, so be aware that Australia is just as terrified of vulvas as us Americans are. Welcome, brother!

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It has been five years since I last noticed, since it's not honored on most mall kiosk calendars, but today is National Orgasm Day! Not that it's a big deal: I prefer to think that every day is orgasm day in my pants. However, the Glamour article linked above seems to think it's mostly about women masturbating, without help from men. What fun is that? Doesn't sound like much of a celebration; sounds like somebody didn't plan to have a date to the National Orgasm Day parade and potluck, that's what I think.

Source of the photo is about a woman for whom every day is Orgasm Day.

New York City, long known for the descreteness of its residents, held a contest to find the tiniest penis in town. You didn't have to BE from Brooklyn, you just had to show up and enter yourself in the tiny penis competition, which should get you an award right there. Some guy called Nick "The Delivery Man" Gilronan won, so you can be happy to know at least you don't have a Gilronian-sized penis.