What does Joel Stein do when he moves in across from the SuicideGirls.com main office? He and his friend bake brownies, and realize just how totally lame they really are.

Men arrested for soliciting sex in New York are sent to "Johns School". Pearls of wisdom taught are "have a flashlight" and "imagine if your wife were a prostitute" (the latter sounds more like a bedroom game). One member of the class said that if he feels like straying from his wife of 43 years again, he'll find a girlfriend instead. Another classmate made sure to invite a female reporter to sit next to him. It's good to see these classes really do change men's nature! I had no idea showing videos of syphillis infections was so effective.

Five transgendered girls decided to cut corners on their body transformation, and instead went on the advice of a non-doctor who offered to inject silicone directly into their bodies. Whoops, who'da known that something would go horribly, horribly wrong at this so-called "silicone party"? Unfortunately, the non-doctor is still at large, while two of the customers are hovering near death.

Put some clothes on, whores! That's the tone of this article, by a woman who claims to have seen more breasts recently than David Hasselhoff. My question: how do you quantify the number of breasts seen by Hasselhoff lately?

Orgasms in women cause an interesting event in their brains: Many things turn off. While a lot of men would find this ripe for snide comments, I choose not to. I'm too nice for that.

Chinese Sex-Ed dolls are anatomically correct, and much comfier to snuggle with at night!

William Windsor lives his life as a little girl... While I can't object to his life choice, it seems unbelievably impractical. Oh, wait, he's got a lifelong trust fund -- go right ahead, mister! Again, proof that money can buy you whatever you want, even the ability to poop in a diaper all day long.

Pen Gillete and Paul Provenza filmed a huge part of the comedic world all telling the same joke, and made a film. While multiple comedians all telling the same joke might not be everyone's idea of a great time (as it might not if the joke were about chickens and roads), reviewers are all claiming The Aristocrats is the funniest thing ever. My problem with the film: I don't understand the joke. "The Aristocrats" is the punchline? Maybe the joke is more like chickens crossing roads than I thought.

The real problem in child porn has been caught: A guy who sells children's swimsuits from his home via the internet. No, he isn't photographing naked kid's genitals or children in sexual poses (both key indicators of child pornography, according to the law). No, he has photos of kids wearing a thong bathing suit on his website advertising the product, among photos of kids in other swimsuits. Fashion crimes may not be illegal, but I doubt this will ever stand up in court as a crime. Too bad the child advocates fighting child porn are diverting time and money into punishing this guy; there's plenty of kids in real peril and genuine sleazeballs out there creating child porn, that punishing some guy with a website showing completely clothed children is pure folly. I could go into the potential legal liability for parents who buy kiddythongs, swimming pools that allow kiddythongs, and government-owned swimming areas that allow kiddythongs, but it's too asinine to even think about.

And, speaking of teens and sex responsibility, Judy Blume's Forever is back with a new edition. Blume, in this interview, talks about what the book means today, 30 years after it's original publication, in the context of everything that's happened since 1975.

Parents are outraged that their kids would meet with their friends online and safely masturbate with each other...you know, as opposed to the preferred method of having body-on-body sex with one another. A sex expert interviewed tries to reassure parents that kids rarely have virtual sex, so this is an anomaly and not to be worried about it. Way to go, parents! Rest assured, if your kids are acting out sexually (which they are, because that's what teens do), they're doing it in person, actually having sex with each other, instead of those naughty chats with their friends from school. Oh, and the parents who are outraged are, of course, exempt from any responsibility because they have no control over their kids' internet use, right? My God, people, do you hear yourselves?!? Cheers to the kids for naming the arrangement the "Safe Sex Club." Jeers to the one lame kid who recorded video of a girl masturbating and released it on the internet. Child pornography charges for you, bucko!

A UK soap opera innocently showed an unregistered domain name in an episode, and quickly found out how fast pornographers work: before the show's regular viewers could put down their cat and waddle to the computer, the domain name had already been registered and redirected to a porn site. I've wanted to do this many times after seeing a fake domain mentioned on The Simpsons or The Family Guy, but I waddle much too slow.

How to Get Your Husband to Slow Down and Caress Your Hair and Love Doing It: Detroit Free Press writer Susan Ager looks at alternatives to sex-manuals promising mind-blowing intercourse. Having given up on her own library of sex manuals, Ager talks of growing beyond the superficial desire for ultimate sexual gratification, hoping for a more mutual, friendly form of satisfaction. Oh no, she doesn't talk of giving up sex: instead she has taken notice of what fills the space between sexual escapades. Her imaginary happiness-manual title may just be The Joy of Not Even Touching.

Verbal sexual content on TV is more powerful than the visuals, according to a U of Michigan researcher. 2/3 of the respondents were women, which may be a big indicator in why the results were this way: women do prefer erotica and suggestive stories, where men like to see what's going on. It's still interesting to see this applied to prime-time TV shows like Friends, That 70s Show, and Dawson's Creek.

the '.xxx' domain is now a reality, and may be available as soon as this fall, for the awe-inspiring price of $60. High prices, no incentive to drop the .com domain names...it might not take off as fast as people would like.

Condom ads come to prime time. It's kinda surprising, since no unmarried people have sex and all married people procreate without impedment -- who's their target market? Oh, wait...I caught a touch of orthodoxy for a second, but I'm feeling better now. Use condoms, people. They help prevent a lot of painful crap. Sidenote: these new commercials exclude Trojan Man and sexual innuendo. Thank you, Trojan, for ending the funny; it was annoying.

Asexuality is overlooked, but shouldn't be discounted as abnormal any more than homosexuality should. Think about the people you've known...me, I can think of several people who had no interest in sexual relations with anyone.

Jury, please vote: is "Crying While Eating" a fetish website? I'm leaning towards 'no,' but crying is not absent from porn sites.

In this time of economic troubles, Ron Miller works two jobs: porn star and criminal defense lawyer. I smell a HBO series! His site: dirtyoldlawyer.com.

Valerie Boucher, who paid for her college through prostitution, is organizer of Forum XXX, a conference for sex workers being held this week in Montreal.

UK theatres, usually accustomed to editing or banning US films for questionable content, are now allowed to show Deep Throat. It will be assigned the rare "R18" designation, similar to the NC17 stateside, and will be shown alongside the documentary Inside Deep Throat.

The latest musician being boycotted for sexually explicit lyrics: Bruce Springstein. His song Reno, from The Boss' new album, describes anal sex & prostitution, and for that has been excluded from Starbuck's sales list. It reminds me once, while shopping through jazz CDs, how shocked I was to see a Josephine Baker re-release with a "Parental Advisory Lyrics" label on it. If jazz, the 'one true American music form,' and the superbly American Bruce Springsteen are censored for violating America's personal morals -- are the censors reflecting what our society truly is, or some perverted idea of what our society wishes it was?

GoDaddy's boobs are a point of controversy, if you didn't already know. The company says they've seen record sales, and 28% approval rating of the ad. However, the opposition cites a 25% 'dislike' rating, with 42% of women disapporoving. GoDaddy's advertising cadre responds, arguing the women have a double standard with what's OK on TV: "Is that the same 42% of women who watch Desperate Housewives every Sunday night?"

Parents Television Council, to demonstrate the extensive raunchiness on cable TV, has condensed it all down into a 6-minute video linked at the bottom of this page. The page is worth a read, too, if you're interested in programming your Tivo for the 'good stuff'.

Kelly Carson, the actress portraying porn star Kimber Henry on Nip/Tuck, owns the lookalike sex doll prop that appeared in an episode. Carson says about her plastic doppelganger: " "She sits in my living room, where I have her fully dressed - a different wig, because I couldn't keep the first one and reading a book. She's good decor."

A condom store has responded to the Pope's condom ban by donating thirty thousand "Madonna" condoms to the LA Lesbian and Gay center (who, no doubt, are also on the Pope's 'naughty' list).

Watching this woman explaining a Michael-Jacksonesque bird mating ritual has to be the sexiest thing I've seen today.

Under pressure from the populous, a local access channel changes rules, requiring locally-produced programs, in hopes of keeping pornography off the air -- whoops, non-local religious programs violate the new rules, but locally-produced porn can stay on the air. So, out-of-region pornographers and church leaders end up on the same side to complain. Anti-pornographers haven't figured it out yet: when you make rules that don't violate free speech, you're going to affect everyone, so either suck it up or leave it alone.

The new 'teen sex fear' is something called 'daisy-chaining'. Most likely it's like those jelly bracelets and oral-sex parties -- an outbreak of once or twice and a lot of rumours -- but, hell, I couldn't get laid to save my life in high school, and it's this easy now? Geez.

Alabama is considering a bill to ban "gay" books. "I don't look at it as censorship," says State Representative Gerald Allen. "I look at it as protecting the hearts and souls and minds of our children." Exclude the Bible for it's sex and violence and church-and-state separation, this guy whould have an aneurism.

Restauranteur throws out lesbians for kissing -- restauranteur gets smacked with sexual discrimination fine.

If you're a master S&M hentai artist, drawing your actual rape conquests in comic-book form will get you caught. The odd part of the story is that he was ID'ed by his penis...when she slept with him for the 'first time' despite knowing he was married. Sounds like there's more to the story than just duct-taped humiliation rape -- but isn't that always the case?

Industrious India artisans use condoms for lubrication -- and not in a sexual way. They lubricate the thread for sewing machines, and help polish metallic thread.

The spermicidal sponge is back! having gotten FDA approval, and should be back in the regular marketplace soon.

Wife calls police because the husband is really drunk and fucking his sister in the bedroom. Police arrive, tell him to unmount and get dressed; man continues with the act anyway. Welcome to scenic Alabama!

This collector of erotic art, 65 years old, is pleasantly quotable: " I am surprised that not all men collect such items because everyone is interested in the topic."

Orgy For World Peace is a live sex site that donates revenues to non-profits. People pay for masturbatory entertainment, poor people overseas get fed. Could this plan be any cooler?

One of Playboy's "Real Desperate Housewives" talks about being a 31-year-old lifelong fan of the supposedly 'man's' magazine.

Mooove over, hormone-laden cows! Plastic is now to blame. An estrogen-mimicking chemical commonly used in your food-storage containers is making men aggressive, women fatter, children start puberty earlier, and permanently damages the sex organs, according to a number of studies. For God's sakes -- stop using plastic! You can drink milk again, though.

College students are not as promiscuous as one might think. Half had one or fewer partners, showing most people were just as sexually disappointed as I was.

Whadda ya know? I've come up with a new feature for RedBloodedThing! It's amazing how often this stuff shows up in the news - downright sickening. It's far less rare than one might think. The new feature is unamusingly called...

Everyone loves the female teachers, right? First-year teacher Elizabeth Stow, 26, had sex with three different students during her short term at the school, along with throwing in a DUI around the same time, just for fun. A few days ago, as seems common with these losers, plead not guilty, but the judge may sentence her to 10 years based on the evidence on hand already.

Freckle-faced Gwen Anne Cardozo, 33, seduced a student while teaching at Wasson High School. She admits to having sex with the student, 17, three times a week over the span of two months -- but denied it until threatened with a lie detector test. Colorado has stepped up the stakes, thankfully; she could get life in prison if the Parole Board deems her a 'continuing risk,' but at minimum 8 years.

Australia isn't immune from sick bastards, either...the teacher is not named, but his crimes are: sexually assulting two male students, aged 12 and 14, while working at two different Catholic schools, spanning 16 years. My guess is these weren't the only two students he abused. I could make Catholic jokes, but it's not worth it.

This bruiser, Anthony Laufgraben, 34, a former Cardozo High School teacher, was caught trying to solicit a 14-year old boy on the internet for sex in a New York park. Oops -- the 14-year-old boy, happily, was an undercover cop, who gladly accepted Laufgraben's advances until there was enough to arrest him. His punishment? 6 months in jail and 5 months probation.

Other new technology trips 'em up, too -- Jesus Partida, 35, teacher at Saucedo Scholastic Academy, has been removed from his position and is pending charges when the mother of a student found at least two cellphone text messages on her daughter's phone from Partida, soliciting sex acts. Of course, Partida denies the accusation. They always do.

Also from the Chicago area, Waukegan High School teacher Raymond Tobias, 64, was was charged with sexual misconduct for inapproprate contact with a 16-year-old student while she was making up a test alone in his classroom. When she asked a question, Tobias brushed up against her breast inappropriately seven times. Finished with her make-up test, Tobias asked the girl to stay while he corrected the test, positioning the chairs in a way that had his leg between her thighs. Smartly, the girl told her parents, who contacted police.

How would a first-grade teacher get charged with sexual contact with a minor? The article doesn't say how Richard Becker, 41, earned his badge, but if it has to do with a first-grader, maybe it's better we don't know.

GI Joe can't keep his hands to himself, either. ROTC instructor Edwin Danny Reaid, 54, has resigned his teaching position following 8 sexual abuse counts total, stemming from inappropriate and nonconsentual contact with a student under age 16. This story has an interesting quick-fact: in 2003, 21 NC teachers had their licenses revoked for sexual contact with a minor, and only 8 did in 2004.

Don't limit the scorn to teachers.

Assistant Girl's Basketball Coach at Independence High School, Michael David Shannon, 35, has been charged with sexually abusing a 14-year-old girl.

A Hawaiian dance instructor Daniel E. Jones, 20, has been charged with sexual assult of three 13-year-old girls and one 14-year-old. The owner of the dance studio has come out to support Jones...I doubt many parents would feel comfortable sending their children to dance class there anymore.

This guy, however, keeps getting hired despite his history. Wise parents have been much more vigilant than the schools in checking teacher backgrounds: on suspicions, parents checked into the history of Sean Ford, 35, finding out that the coach of their children had sexually abused two of his players in the past. A winning volleyball history seems to be more important to the schools than finding out why he was fired and banned from the campus of a previous coaching assignment. Strangely, the school board simply removed his teaching certificate -- and made no recommendation to police, citing they weren't sure he broke any laws, allowing him to move from one school to another after being discovered. Florida should take a few lessons from Colorado.

This Florida teacher, however, didn't get away with it -- Carlos Diaz, 42, of Coral Gables High School, touched a 16-year-old student's genitals inappropriately (not that teachers ever have an appropriate way). Police were put on the case, and he awaits trial.

Standards for defining premature ejaculation have been set -- in general, men 'finishing' 1.8 minutes or sooner is premature, compared to the average of 7.3 minutes for regular men.

Hungary is considering allowing prostitutes in malls -- as long as they take the act to a more suitable venue. Local governments are allowed to create "zones of patience" for the oldest profession, but none have done so yet.

Norwegian teens called "Russ" act out prior to graduation, doing tasks like sex in public, reading pornography in public, or kissing a policeman, to earn knots in their tassel. Someone, as a joke, added 'unprotected sex' as a knot-earning task. Hilarity ensued. Those wacky Norwegians.

Screw's Al Goldstein is back in the porn business, after homelessness and a stint at a Kosher deli. He's been hired to market online porn.

Girls get a serious talk, boys get 'wink wink nudge nudge' according to this article. Parents don't give boys enough of The Talk -- which might solve a lot of parents' concerns about teen sex, since so often the boys are considered instigators. They might not be instigators if they'd get something more than a 'go ahead, but maybe sorta try and be careful' message.

A dominatrix gave up her sexy job and entered the government workplace... only to be harrassed by her manager -- a former client. The story ends happily in lawsuits and a settlement in her favor. Hooray!

Nashville authorities say they can't prosecute people for filming a gang-bang film. While they could wait for the film to be produced, review the film for obscenity, and then prosecute if it meets 100% of the obscenity definitions, it doesn't sound like that'll happen.

college newspaper printed a nearly-nude photo of a stripper. The stripper -- who was performing, in public, on campus -- thinks her privacy was invaded. Um, don't perform in public, young lady.

11 towns have sued a sex boutique owner -- and all 11 have lost. Here's a little story about his life, an RV for a home and city after city telling him he's doing something wrong.

South African men are getting a rape wakeup call. In a culture that has considered rape a commonplace occurrence for women, men are finding themselves at the business end of a violent penis, too. "Some of the men say they know they are not safe anymore and have condemned the actions of men who rape men." How about you join the civilized world, take a look at how it feels, and leave off the last 'men' in that sentence, hmm?

The guy who's married to the sister of the guy who married Julia Roberts is a pornographer. The Enquirer thinks it's relevant. Somehow. Eh, who cares. I just want to know how Kevin Bacon is taking it. (The pornographer has a Bacon Number of 4; Roberts and Bacon were in Flatliners together)

"Forty Deuce," a 4-part series about a new burlesque club, premieres tonight.. The New York Post said it wasn't sexy, but what do they know? They think news about celebrity dating habits is sexy. Bleh. I'd rather watch women in feathery costumes gyrate than hear about Parker Posey's love-life.

The List of sexiest careers is out! Firefighters and flight attendants are at the top.

Trump's followers prefer money to great sex. Losers. Who would sleep with these people anyway, if that's their attitude about sexual encounters? "Sure, honey, it was great -- it just wasn't $800,000 GREAT."

Internet Sex Sting Results In Arrest Of Cumming Man -- note to reporter: read headlines closely before submitting them, please, or else the internet will laugh at you.

Police cite "art night" at Erotic City as obscene; they tried to circumvent anti-nudity laws by giving patrons pads of paper & pencils, and calling the dancers 'nude models' -- viola, it's an art event! Gotta give them points for trying.

The India Telegraph has a story on polyamory. Positive: It portrays it in a friendly light. Negative: It does it's best to play off cute-sounding insider terms to make it palatable, kinda like furries did.

What body shape is sexy? Jane Ganahl of SF Chronicle gets the word on the street.

STRICTLY SEX WITH DR. DREW is looking for people to come on their show. Especially people like YOU, Mr. Foot-Fetish Erectile-Disfunction-Suffering Virgin Who Is Afraid Of Having Sex With Pregnant Spouse Or Recieving Oral Sex.

Japanese women turn to male prostitutes for companionship, because their husbands don't want sex. Too much hentai & hookers is the problem, reportedly. I say: What the fuck is wrong with Japan?

Kids talk more about sex simply because they know what it means -- not because they're doing it. Well, rumours of oral sex parties and jelly bracelets still make the rounds, but all other signs say kids are far less promiscuous than rumours would lead us to believe.

A landlord gets his ass handed to him in court in sex-for-rent extortion. There's one porn-site premise that fails miserably in real life.

Pre-teens are selling condoms on the street -- I'm mixed on the kids reactions. They say they don't know what the condoms are for; hopefully they learn before they get much older.

Cable TV 'oops' puts strippers on accidentally. Why doesn't this ever happen when I'm watching? Dammit.

Conservative Jewish leaders are considering gay rabbis and same-sex marriages, following the lead of the Reform branch of Judaism. I say, do it -- show the Christians how it's supposed to be done.

A school rejected an 800 dollar donation from an adult store, on the basis that it falls into the same 'questionable' category as alcohol and tobacco companies. What I wonder: Would Barnes & Noble be rejected for their Playboys and erotica books? How about the Cable TV company that carries Pay-per-view porn? Or a lingerie store? Sad: Without the $800, the fundraiser was unsuccessful in buying the new climbing wall for the school.

Women are behind the porn cameras, and other behind-the-scenes areas, turning pornography into a woman-controlled, feminist, medium.

Time reflects on porn's place in society -- it goes into quite a bit of detail (5 'pages' online), nothing overly new or shocking, but it's a nice summary on pornography during porno chic.

The GoDaddy Superbowl Babe did naughty videos, and you can watch it at Wrestling-News.com. Go quasi-porn! Downside: her boobies aren't as great as you think.

UNH's Feminist Action League is quite busy -- causing trouble by excluding a man from an event & breaking rules about using the venue, and then backing the rights of a woman regarding sexual comments about her in another school paper, and finally demanding the restoration of a violence-against-women class that had been cut for funding reasons.

Sex work in New York is a dangerous thing -- thanks to uncaring police and violent johns, according to a new report by the Urban Justice Center (see full report). The reason women turn to prostitution? Making ends meet.

Earlier sexual maturity leads to STD immunity, according to a new study. Don't take it the wrong way, though: it's not earlier sexual activity -- that doesn't help. Girls who started period earlier, had higher estrogen levels earlier, were less likely to have infections despite sexual activity.

This news-story illustration is too cute, even though the article is just run-of-the-mill Have The Sex Talk info.

Bath house and sex club patrons are being sex smart, using more protection and acting more responsible, thanks to education programs. Go sex-ed!

Nancy Sinatra talks about being Frank's daughter, what boots mean to her, and how to sing 'like a 16-year-old who screwed truck drivers'.

Being too tired for sexis a major complaint for Americans, according to a poll. A third of those who don't get a good night's sleep say it affects their sex life, as opposed to 8% of good sleepers.

A frat is suspended for filming a porn, supervised by Shane's World. It's a run-of-the-mill story -- but why does the news website add, "One Chico State student died and another nearly died at two other fraternities during initiation rituals this year." In my opinion, filming porn is much better for safety and morale than hazing. Go porn!

"In the midst of a rise in gay activism and the coverage media gives it, Watchman Media launches its ""Gay Is Not Normal Campaign" in USA." The movement plans to "warn all those snared by the falsehood of homosexual happiness." This offensive message brought to you by the magic of free online press release services.

As you may have noticed, Bits'n'Pieces, the news-link section, has it's own page now -- I'm going to update links as often as they catch my eye. I'm hoping it'll attract more readers: I like more readers. Bits'N'Pieces will still show up in the blog like it already does; but it's homepage is easier to read, sorted by date, and has the ability to comment on the news.

Want to look at porn stars without being sleazy? Photographer Timothy Greenfield-Sanders took artistic pictures of 30 pro porn stars, and is exhibiting them in Santa Monica, along with publishing a coffee table book.

What do sexy models think about their profession? icNewcastle asked, and got the answers. Well, kinda...mostly, they're simply showing that the sexy girls in the magazines are really real people...who wants to see that, right?

And, now for a rather large collection of...



I've run across the confluence of youngness and bathing this week, apparently. Either that, or I'm feeling my age. I linked to these young girls last week, but there's a while bunch of younger types this time around. Little April looks positively illegal, with both tiny breasts and braces. I can't get turned on by her -- she looks the younger side of 12. They say she turned 18 last year; hopefully the braces are off by now. The movies are actually quite long, #3 being almost entirely masturbation.

These ladies are a bit older, but by getting barely PG-13 & wearing child-like underwear they seem to be acting like they're younger than they really are. Strangely, I'm starting to get into the partly-clothed nudity-free photos -- not because of youthfullness (ick) but more because of the 'tease' of it. Princess Blueyes never takes of her cute monkey panties, has her top on for half of the 26 photos, and shows neither nipples nor pink. Somehow, it's still goddamn hot. an unnamed "lesbian sorority cheerleader" (as if they really need cheerleaders) takes a clothed bath in uniform, leaving panties, masturbating with the running water, but never takes the panties off. A 'City Style Girl' takes a bath in & out of her bra, also without showing nips or pussy. Tiffany Teen frolicks in front of the mirrors, soapy as all get out, but in t-shirt and panties. Kate bathes in a top and panties, shows a little of her mound, but no nipples; the thumbs are cropped, the fullsize show a lot more.

Seanna Teen (from the same site as Tiffany, above) takes a long time to get into the bath, but gets nice and soapy for 9 photos before heading for the shower.

She must be from the UK -- the website says so! The thumbnails are cropped, and the fullsize show quite a bit more.

This might be a repeat, but I can't pass up videos. Tawnee Stone gets soapy in a series of bathing movies. They're painfully short, but an innovative person could splice'em together.

Here we go -- I like these much better than the little-titted teens. These are real women, with huge racks. She even calls herself "April Chest", bathing and getting soapy in this series of good-lengthed videos. Tanya Danielle shows us both her 'first names' does the same, both from the same site. Busty Amateur Boobs seems to use bathing as a regular advertising gimmick, doing it with more than one of their unnamed models. The first of the two is soapier, but has an odd 'look' to her, while the second is cuter, but less soapy. Audra looks unbelievably cheery about being photographed in the bubble bath, and I'm not complaining.

She may not be a natural redhead, but I wouldn't kick her outta my bath. She gets nice and soapy in the rather high-quality photos.

Why settle for one asian woman, when you can get two? Soaping each other down is the icing on the cake!

Crappy porn tip #88712: Borrow scenery from a high school. Sadly, I've seen this same badly-painted castle background in a number of other bath pics, so this might not be new to you. The model looks bored, despite having a ring in her right nipple.

She must be a real-life housewife -- the website tells us so! The ugly borders on the thumbnails aren't on the large pics.

Can they really call it voyeur if she's clearly acting for the camera? Do we really care? The ten movies are tiny but are long enough.

A school-board member & lawyer is arrested for prostitution -- but here's the kicker: it's a man, who had requested sexual favors as payment for legal services. Now there's an interesting application of anti-prostitution laws. It has a bit more 'sting' than run-of-the-mill extortion.

A public-education film on Dutch culture has been edited for being too obscene -- it included bits on "gay marriages, topless beaches, women's rights and drugs." The concern was that posessing the video, intended to help immigrants acclimate to Dutch culture, would break strict Islamic obscenity laws.

Talk to your parents about sex, lest they be too naiive to know what to do when the topic is forced upon them -- according to Jess Beaton of Johns Hopkins U. and CosmoGirl

A modern Bible for girls including sex talk is producing outrage amongst religious-folk -- but in checking the actual website for the bible, I'll bet those opposed to religiously-opressed sex-ed will be outraged, too. Does mixing sex & religion ever work?

In other news, hiring a prostitute is legal in North Dakota. This and the South Dakota law were both prompted by attempted "sting" operations where people were arrested for immoral things that weren't illegal. Goes to show conservative morality is struggling to punish people for doing that aren't illegal...yet. North Dakota is reviewing a new bill to fix this 'problem' so they can bring charges against someone soliciting a prostitute in the future.

MSNBC safely and cutely talks about amateur porn. It's mostly a fluff piece, nothing new to the reader, but it's still worth a scan. I like that he has to define "MILF" for the uneducated readers.

You've only got fifteen months left for an erotic massage in South Dakota. Old laws said penetration was required, but all that changes July 2006. Happily, several other neighboring states still stick by the 'penetration' rule.

A gay nudist cruise was barred from deboarding at St Kitts, because the port didn't approve of the lifestyle. The captain said he's "captained gay cruises before and I've never encountered anything like this." Admittedly, it must take a LOT to surprise a captain of gay nude cruises.

There's a new economy of sex workers growing in the UK: unionized, professional, and considered an acceptible profession by law enforcement and locals alike.

Some where in Denmark is a porno-based reality show - but I can't find any english-language stories. Damn my Swedish heritage! Here, Have another link, apparently to the official site -- and another news story.

Sexual frustration -- what's a person to do? I don't need the help, but some of you might find it useful.

Now that I've figured out the handy "Bits 'n Pieces" part of my blog I'm posting a lot more, but not anything of substance. I could go back to reviewing Spam emails, but that's a lot of work, and they're all the same. I could talk about getting laid, but that's more interesting for the participants. I don't have any Obligatory Soapy Pics right now, so there's nothing to add in that case. What should I talk about? I need a good topic, something to write a couple hundred words about each week. *think think think*

Tit-Elation is almost up and running -- there's not a lot of content there yet, other than stuff I uploaded turning site testing. If you write erotica, sign up as a submitter (it's free, regular writers get paid) and submit your writing. Getting in on the ground floor is a good idea. Gracie's also planning on expanding into book publishing, so if you've got a novel/novellete sized story, she might be interested in talking to you.

You've heard about cockfights...MegaStar brings you Nipple Wars. If only they can turn this into a screen saver... MegaStar's Babe section isn't too bad either.

Remember these? Lewd postcards featuring embattled husbands and chubby ladies. Ah, times were simpler back then.

At the end of this links page there's a video of Bathtub Girl at Lars' Barbeque. Who knew? She was a real person!

SpicePlay isn't recommended for any particular reason: I post it as an example of an odd genre of adult websites. It's got the regular features of an online community, but it's designed around having sexy, naked girls getting people to spend money. Sites like this really blur the lines of what's real life and what's fantasy pornography...but, many other "real media" sites blur the line by adding paid personals, sex tips & sexually-charged stories, and discussion areas. Identifying which is which will become more troublesome - if you think it's trouble at all.

Tacoma, Washington is working on passing a law to prevent places from catering to sexual intercourse, like bathhouse and sex clubs. They say hotels and motels are exempted, but what about bar bathrooms where they charge a cover? What about a frat party that asks for a donation of canned goods during rush week? What about rented vacation home, with bearskin rugs and a roaring fireplace? Where's the line drawn for "paying admission to have sex there" -- when it comes down to consensual sex anyways?

A brothel posing as a colon hydrotherapy clinic caught police attention because there weren't any female customers. Who watches a colon irrigation shop long enough to see if women go in?

Gerard Damiano talks about his life -- a very average life which just happens to have included writing & directing Deep Throat.

Having sex regularly makes you more happy than a high-paying job. No wonder I'm such a happy guy! I wouldn't complain about having both, though.

Real sex doesn't sell in the movies...put in gratuitous, funny, or mysogynistic sex in, sure, but films focusing on the reality of sex just don't do well.

The Washington Times has a nice summary on what's going on with female sexual offenders and abusers, summing up the "teacher sleeps with student" headlines that titillate us on a near-weekly basis.

A frumpy statue of Queen Victoria is a sex icon in Bangkok, a fertility symbol that for a hundred years childless women have made pilgrimages to in hopes of being blessed with child.

There's a law in the works to prevent high school cheerleaders from getting all "Bring It On" anymore. A law against sexualizing minors...in Texas? Amazing! Hopefully they'll still allow Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to shake their "thang".

Australians are rather lame in their sexual experiences...well, just as lame as most people, having sex less and less excitingly than you'd see on TV. This realization is part of a new book, Doing it Down Under - The sexual lives of Australians.

A blow-up sex doll activates in the mail -- causing a bomb scare. The mailer said he's returning the doll because "it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment."

A survey by tootimid.com says people often fantasize about exes, co-workers, and celebrities WHILE having sex with their partner. Only 57% actually think about their partner; celebrities came in at the lowest, while exes were the top non-partner. Ex-partners!

UK distilleries are to be barred from making advertisments suggesting that alcohol can get you laid -- what, the only good part of getting drunk can't be a selling point?

British Telcom has put child-porn blockers on their networks and are shocked -- shocked -- by the number of perverts hitting the firewall. "The exact number of people trying to look at the sites is unclear because some may be making repeated attempts."

What do you get when you mix nudes, body paint, and the zodiac into one thing? You get the Nude BodyPaint Zodiac!

A pregnant woman was told that she was fired because the porn store was losing money, but then her job was posted in the want-ads. Oops -- doesn't the store realize men find pregant women sexy, too? If sexshops are worried about employees turning off customers, then they should stop hiring ugly people.

Workers in Scotland are more likely to have workplace affairs -- it's gotta be the accent.

Pin-Up Tributes has loads and loads of vintage babes -- not a lot of pictures, but maybe enough to help you figure out who the cutie in that one mag is.

Now that explicit sex isn't so distant as it was before Kinsey and porn chic, is sex getting boring? Guardian writer Natasha Walter's point is that explicit sex in art & the media isn't nearly as shocking as it once was; she ends with, When everything has been said and everything has been shown, being explicit is simply too easy; being sexy is the difficult thing.

What's a porn king look like? Here you go. I'd think he'd wear a crown, or carry a sceptre or something....

Show-Me State Wants a Little Less to Show by passing laws restricting strippers and exotic dancers in their work...what, Missouri has nothing else to worry about than strippers? How about cleaning up St Louis for a start, eh?

Rebellious women in the UK are striking back against their parent's women's lib generation -- by yearing for the 1950s housewife lifestyle.

Sex Life, eh? I've been reading more sexblogs lately, trying to find content for putting up here, but there's something slutty about that. A blog that only links to other people's websites? That makes me more of a portal, less of a blog. But, what am I supposed to write about?

According to the other sex blogs, I should be either:

• Writing about the tiny, boring bits of my life; or,
• Writing about my sex-life

My life is too boring to really get into, and the three of you out there who read this blog wouldn't find it very interesting.

My sex life, however -- that's more interesting? Admittedly, I'm the favorite toy of a sex-loving woman, so there's no lack of loving around here. Yesterday, she posted this, about Russ Meyer's death:

Thank God I already started my day with a good screw in the shower ~ otherwise, this would be a horrid way to start my day...

Yes, we fucked in the shower yesterday; hot, wet, soapy, multiple-position sex in the shower. Gracie, however, without batting an eyelash, tossed it into normal conversation. Now, she tends to do this all the time anyway (she exhibits great control around my family, thankfully ;) but I get quiet and giggle quietly to myself when it comes to discussing my sex-life. Her -- it's just a part of her day. She could just as well have said any sort of positive thing about her day; getting paid, talking to a friend, etc.

She chose sex -- which is always one of the best parts of the day anyway -- and she's OK with it. And, for fuck's sake -- I'm a skinny, socially retarded, unappealing nerd. Getting laid a dozen times a week should be printed on my T-shirt and worn with pride!

So, maybe I'll start talking about that more. If I start documenting each event, it might become mind-boggling over how much I actually do get laid. In the couple months we've been living together, I think I've had more sex than the rest of my life combined.

*giggle* HOORAY!

---

Aw, hell, I need to post some links anyway, they're worth it:

US soldier in Iraq forgets to empty the Recycle Bin. What was in Recycle? Naked pictures of herself. Part of me cries, 'foul,' mostly because she's so damn good looking: consider the alternatives. However, her guns are rather impressive...

Not sure if I linked to this before, but it's classy design mixed with horny imagry: PornoCombo

To the MAN who DID his hoochie on my hood!! -- again, looks manufactured, but still entertaining anyways. It's a VOLVO, for fuck's sake!

The Ethical Hedonism Manifesto -- Eh, hmmm....yes, all good stuff, what what will be done with it now? Others have published their manifestos, nailed them to church doors, built a cult following, but this may well be lost in the overpowering internet chatter. It's also not particularly shocking or unusual.

Evil Girls Get Nasty -- The splash page lists "Devil Girls" (definitely evil), "Bizarre Toys" (showing a girl with a cross in her cunt - also evil). "Cool Girls?" Unnaturally dyed hair, eh, kinda evil. "Huge Dildos"? Since when is THAT evil. Their definition is rather lax. This site is from the same guys with the alien porn yesterday. Gotta love the fringe!

Welcome back, Sex-Kitten! My SO's website hasn't been updated in over a year, but after a site redesign it's up and running again. It's actually very cool; it's still the old site, but it looks sharper, cleaner, and classier now.

I hate "linkblogs," but I don't have much to say about stuff, so here's more interesting links:

An animator/artist named Joe Williamsen had created an object he calls the "Hunter;" essentially a cartoony woman done in photorealistic style. He animated it using entirely computer generated methods first -- but then he got the idea to use motion capture and a real model. Is the result some sword-and-sorcery action film? Nope; it's a stripclub version of Run-DMC's Walk This Way. I like it this way better. Bouncy.

I'm honestly surprised that outer space alien sex can mage enough money online to be a viable business line. Well, on second thought...why does this surprise me?


And, as always for good measure...
Gratuitous Soapy Pics!!!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

And, this is becoming a bit obsessive for me...

There's porn sites showing hot women posing sensually in the bath...but, then there's regular commercial websites doing the same thing. They don't show as much pink, but the images look like they're pulled right from porn sites like the ones above. So, a new feature:

Obligatory Soapy Non-Porn!!
1 - 2

As with all things sexual in the Far East, politicians are ineffectively denouncing the lewd practicies. The new one is about Betel Nut Girls - they've been told to cover up.

Binlang, from what I can gather, is a legal 'drug' (inasmuch caffeine and nicotine are) derived from the betel tree nut. Bin Lang is happily marketed on streetcorners by a Oriental version of the cigarette girl. Scantily clad young women stand on the street, selling betel nuts to whomever happens by -- they are the Betel But Girls!

However, they're being told to cover up -- but not because of problems with the women's bodies. They're worried about car accidents. Remember, Taiwan is a place where almost 80% of the population would support a prostituion-OK district on the island after officials cut back on the formerly legal prostitution trade. Living in the U.S., it doesn't feel all that prudish here -- but then compare ourselves to other countries like Taiwan, we're positively puritan!

Organize now! A group of young ladies are Taking one for the country - by grouping up, visiting a bar near a military location, and letting a little no-strings fun happen with GIs who are shipping out. Part of me thinks, "come on, ladies, you're just making an excuse to have no-strings sex..." but, then that may also be the reason it's good.

It's getting bad these days - you can't even sell X-Rated movies from the back of a truck. This guy tried just that, and made it quite a while, advertising on the CB radio and parking down the road from a truck stop.

After going head-to-head with city officials, Joe Byrer backed down and closed up shop.

Really, I admire his business sense -- it's a market without internet access, without easy transportation to a porn store, and a mobile, transient customer base. Who else is gonna get these guys their porn? Mr Byrer did, without breaking laws (bending maybe), and made a few bucks at it. Congrats, Mr Byrer!

"Pornography is repeating the same image over and over. These are thought- out images that deal with sexuality. These are ideas that are fleshed out by my friends. ''

• Eric Kroll, in an interview about his work

As you can see on the right, I read Adult Backwash. Over there is a writer calling herself 'Gracie' -- and she's a retired prostitute. Sorry, sorry -- "retired escort".

She intrigues me, mostly because I can't really wrap my mind around the entire concept of prostitution. What does a guy get out of it that's worth the money?

Still, there's some promise in the business end of hookers (no, not that end). Here's Gracie's take on the legalization of prostitution, from her website Sex-Kitten.Net.

Earlier today I was toodling around online, and I was accosted by a pop-up advertisment.

I was being questioned -- "Is there PORNOGRAPHY on YOUR computer?"

My first thought was: "man, I really hope so!"