A hundred and fifty years ago, prostitutes flocked to the Bay Area because there were a lot of sweaty rich men around there and few women. That was the gold rush, but today a different kind of gold rush is happening: sex workers are setting up shop in Silicon Valley, to service all the young, single men getting rich writing apps. Apparently all it takes is wearing geeky t-shirts to play yourself as a nerdy hooker, but, really, they should learn some Ruby on Rails before jumping into such a high-tech career.

Illustration Via.

My old page showing boobs in a rack room has gotten linked by Reddit, which has pointed me to another example of IT staff with nice tits, selling rackspace in a former soviet nuclear bunker. Boobs? Boobs!

Via.

Somebody with a CNC laser cutter got too close to the machine one day, and - bam - laser-perforated shirts were born. Poor Jeffrey, though, didn't make it - while his T-shirt looked awesome, they were still missing a few pieces of him when the coroner arrived. Anyhow, now there are awesome t-shirts that look kinda like 70s-perforated-jerseys, but in cool patterns. I, of course, want to see these on braless busty women, but I'm weird that way.

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Hey, nerd, spending all day looking at porn on the computer because you don't think you can get a hot chick? Loser! Turns out, geeks and nerds have more to offer than they realize, provided they can crawl out of mom's basement and actually go out and meet a woman. And it's not like the 80s movies, where she has to be a geeky chick, too: a normal woman might like your glasses-wearing, too-short-pants-stylin' ways, too.

When quizzed on their use of sex toys in bed and their willingness to care about their partner's sex enjoyment, nerds were more giving than men in fitness-related jobs, proving that nerds are fucking grateful to find a woman willing to give of herself in the bedroom. Personal trainers, business owners, construction workers? They're hot, who needs to try harder? I'm not sure where I fit: my paycheck says I'm a manual laborer, but the amount of math and design in my job leads me to call myself a nerd much of the time. That makes me both god's gift to women and an excellent lover. What's a guy like me to do?

Yes, yes it is:

You might argue that linux geeks aren't hot, but you'd be wrong -- sure, like a cross-section of society, some of us are a little funny-looking, but you have to check out the high end of the bell curve: we've got some hotness hiding in our ranks:

Geeks out there will appreciate that my website is written in 100% Perl. Perl isn't the greatest of languages, it isn't the prettiest of languages, but I'll be darned if it isn't the sexiest of languages.

You doubt me? Just look at the fun these ladies are having with their Perl manual. Oooh, ladies - I'll make your 'O-Face' a regular expression!

I would, however, be remiss if I didn't point out that the erotic Perl website above was written in PHP, rather than Perl. Kids today and their fancy new languages don't know how to get off like us seasoned pros can!