Posts Tagged 'Boobs Etc'

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Plus Sized Sexy!

We've all known for a long time that fashion models are tiny on every scale, with their bony bits sticking out everywhere, but it's not as noticeable as it is in the photo below, from Plus Model Magazine, in which a normal-sized naked woman holds a "normal" sized fashion model. OK, it's an excuse to see naked women hugging, but maybe you'll just learn something about society's pressure on women towards tininess in the process.

Beery Boobs!

It's so sad when someone so young has such a big drinking problem. Just look at her downing that beer: somebody can't hold their alcohol well. It looks like she's just missing the, ahem, support she needs. Maybe she just needs to get things off her chest.


Porn Shoot!

I live in a boring place. When I walk down the street and look in people's windows, I see fat people sitting on couches, beneath paintings of old men praying or jesus and school pictures of grandkids. This guy walks past a hotel, and sees awesome tits in the window. Or maybe I just need to look in more windows, I dunno. Anyhow, he has more pics, apparently done at an Aloft Hotel someplace.

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Breast Squeeze Charity!

See, I never find out about this stuff until after it happens. It seems that, over in Japan, last weekend you could donate money to a charity and then touch some boobs. The last time I went down to the Lions Club Pancake Breakfast they kicked my ass out for touching breasts, so charities must work differently in Japan. However, part of the festivities last weekend were a "masturbation marathon", so, in a sense, I did participate.

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Bouncy Bouncy!

The animated GIF is the greatest invention for boob-lovers ever. They're short, focused, and they loop, over and over, until you've got tunnelvision and are completely hypnotized. Just like when you've got huge boobs and poor bra support and you're at a rave.

Octomom Porn!

For fuck's sake, I guess I just better get it over with. Blah, blah, octomom, "leaked" footage, weird plasticy face, masturbating topless, yadda yadda yadda. There, now you've got all that's important about this, and move in with your fucking lives.

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Boob Stickers!

Apparently, somebody decided that, as long as the areola was covered, that was enough boob blockage. That person was made the god of mankind everywhere. Coed magazine, fan of everything boob-but-not-quite-porn, spent weeks compiling over a hundred pictures of women with boob stickers covering their nipples. Enjoy.

Best Boobs!

Statisticians, is there nothing your grubby hands can make more empirical? According to SCIENCE! the perfect breast has been determined, based on Page 3 Girls' most-favorited boobs. I mean, come on, BOOBS, but the most interesting feature is that the nipple is supposed to point up by 45 degrees. I'm not completely sure I've ever seen an upturned nipple, and that may just be testament to the amount of substandard breasts I've encountered. No, that's not possible: there's not such thing as encountering a substandard boob. Every boob is a significant improvement over no boob. Unless you're really doing it wrong. But, even then...boobs. However, this is all about empiricism, so the only way I can truly know is to experience as many breasts as possible. I'll get right on that; I already have my clipboard ready.

Bouncy Bouncy!

There are tits, and then there are BOOBS! and that young lady down here totally has some goddamn BOOBS! This was originally found here, and I have no fucking idea what it means. I just can't stop watching it.


(Apologies to the original, I reformatted it to get rid of the seizure-inducing wiggles.)

Cora Knits Boobs!

Sometimes, when you've got a talent, you need to use it to help people. When Cora's knitting group's plan to help new parents by knitting things, Cora shook things up by going off the beaten path. While everyone else is knitting onesies and and tuques, Cora is knitting tits. You may be surprised: knitting boobs isn't all that uncommon at all, which makes me mad that everyone has overlooked the most fucking obvious Christmas gift for me. Seriously, people: warm cozy breasts are my most favorite thing in the world, and I want to fill a McDonaldsland ball-pit with them and just spend the rest of my life in there. Is that so much to ask?


Random Email Boobs!

I rarely ever actually see spam, thanks to software that's so much smarter than me, so it's a surprise when something slips through, and then there's the extra bonus of getting surprise random email boobs!

She wants me to email her so she can "answer back with my private images." I'll pass, sorry "ANGEL", if that is your real name.

Boob Squeeze Bra!

Thanks to this new invention from China, the amount of clevage you display is variable, ladies. With a slight tug on the strings, your sweater puppies can go from "au naturale" to "subway rush-hour packed" in just seconds. Purple check-mark indeed!

Warning! video contains numerous views of women's breasts being squeezed together by lacy things. Make sure you've got an hour or so open in your afternoon before you start watching it.

Sophia Vergara Then And Now!

I doubt I have to convince you, but Sophia Vergara has been hot since the 20th century. In 1998, she did a commercial for Bally's, with the awesome underboob-shower-shot seen below. That's the same kid in the Bally's commercial as in the Got Milk photo. Twenty years pass, and she's like some sexy vampire, the kind with big boobs that doesn't glitter. Incidentally, that's my favorite kind. Anyhow, if you prefer your masturbatory fun to arrive in magazine form, Sophia's bikiniing it up in a recent Shape magazine.

Edie McLurg!

You all remember Edie McClurg as the busybody secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the neighbor on Small Wonder, and as the voice of a number of cartoon characters. I was surprised, when doing a little IMDB browsing, that her profile alludes to her lesbianism with the statement, "Longtime companion of columnist Liz Browning." While I totally respect this: she strikes me as a classy lesbian, if it is true, but when I searched for her name on the internet, I found that her name is on some list used by those randomly generated "nude celebrity pics" websites. ACME Girls has links to some of the other sites, which, sadly, do not actually have naked pictures of Edie McClurg., however, rates her body: her breasts are a 75, and her talent is an 86 ( a score on par with Bebe Neuwirth, Meg Tilly, and the mom on That 70s Show). As for her lesbianism, I could not find any further reference to it.

"Milked" doesn't have much to do with milk itself -- focusing more on boobies (which do not seem to be producing milk at the time, but could at some point). The site is full of visual experimentation: animated GIFs, flash animations, and 'stereo' images (called anaglyphs). Pleasantly, all contain breasts or a sex act. What better way to experiment with software, than to do it with something so pleasant as naked ladies?

If the animated boobies above aren't enough for you, the truthfully-named has pirated pretty much every boobie-bouncing animated GIF you've seen on everybody else's website, all on one page. I got so dizzy, I almost fell out of my chair.

Reflectoporn shows user-uploaded photos...self portraits, reflected in a shiny surface. Many are in mirrors, which offer a clear image, but others are in televisions, faucet taps, and an homage to the infamous "ebay kettle". Unregistered browsers only get a few photos; registered users can see more.

Holy crap -- a newspaper published a story calling for parents to act responsibly about their kids' online porn viewing? Amazing! They've actually got a lot of good information (although they jump to the 'seek professional help for your kid' a little too quickly for my likings, and refer to the kid always as male). If parents did these things first, who'd have a problem with online pornography? The "think of the children!" camp wouldn't have much to complain about.

Fire Fetish!

You know, I wrote a long, boring uninteresting post on another porn spam, but a popup crashed my browser and I lost everything.

In the meantime, I found this site with some cool fire fetish photography -- nothing overly nasty, but with the low light and the flames, it still looks awfully scary...but, that's the point, isn't it?

Perl, Bitches!

Geeks out there will appreciate that my website is written in 100% Perl. Perl isn't the greatest of languages, it isn't the prettiest of languages, but I'll be darned if it isn't the sexiest of languages.

You doubt me? Just look at the fun these ladies are having with their Perl manual. Oooh, ladies - I'll make your 'O-Face' a regular expression!

I would, however, be remiss if I didn't point out that the erotic Perl website above was written in PHP, rather than Perl. Kids today and their fancy new languages don't know how to get off like us seasoned pros can!

Largest Breasts!

Although this is scary, man, it's hard not to look. Norma Stitz claims to have the largest breasts in the entire world, apparently even certified by Guinness Book of World Records. I'd believe it; she lets you have a LOOOONG GOOD look at them, even without paying for access.


I'm just going through my naughty bookmarks, and so I thought I'd share.

If you're a photo fan, autopr0n has a nice no-fluff index of sites. The comments are amusingly accurate as well! Also, everything appears to be free, a bonus in this payporn world.

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