I'm the cook around the house, and I love my cast-iron frying pans. I've thought a couple times I should get a cover for the handles, since they can get pretty hot. If I felt like holding on to a small, crocheted penis, I could order one of these -- they're called "manhandles" and I don't think I'm the right audience for them, but if the insinuation is that A) kitchens belong to women and B) women love touching penises, well, then I guess these are totally awesome. Not sure how that fixes my frying pan issue, but, well, I'll pass on the penis potholders, sorry.

Sometimes, when you've got a talent, you need to use it to help people. When Cora's knitting group's plan to help new parents by knitting things, Cora shook things up by going off the beaten path. While everyone else is knitting onesies and and tuques, Cora is knitting tits. You may be surprised: knitting boobs isn't all that uncommon at all, which makes me mad that everyone has overlooked the most fucking obvious Christmas gift for me. Seriously, people: warm cozy breasts are my most favorite thing in the world, and I want to fill a McDonaldsland ball-pit with them and just spend the rest of my life in there. Is that so much to ask?

Via.