Posts Tagged 'Nerd'

Nerdy Hookers!

A hundred and fifty years ago, prostitutes flocked to the Bay Area because there were a lot of sweaty rich men around there and few women. That was the gold rush, but today a different kind of gold rush is happening: sex workers are setting up shop in Silicon Valley, to service all the young, single men getting rich writing apps. Apparently all it takes is wearing geeky t-shirts to play yourself as a nerdy hooker, but, really, they should learn some Ruby on Rails before jumping into such a high-tech career.

Illustration Via.

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Date Nerds!

Your Tango thinks you could do well to date a geek, which is a nice change from the useless stories about how to attract attractive, affluent men. They only give 4 reasons, because doing a list of 5 or 10 was too hard to come up with more reasons. Number 4 is the kicker: while the first three are about how 'nice guys' are nice, the fourth one is all about how he'll put up with you changing his fashion sense. Ladies, just what you want: a nice, compliant guy without an ego, who'll let you dress him up like those attractive, affluent men you really want. This pretty much guarantees that, in two or three months, you'll be that hot crazy chick he was banging until he finally couldn't take it anymore. Good luck, ladies!

Nerd Boyfriend!

Want to look all nerdy and shit like William Faulkner or Emo Philips? Check out sparse fashion blog nerd boyfriend, thus ensuring that the only chicks you attract have cat-eye glasses, bad haircuts, a Moleskine poetry journal in her purse, and a crazy streak that'll keep the bedroom happy and the restraining orders a'flying. Fuck, that actually sounds kinda fun. (via)

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Boobies And Linux's Tux

You might argue that linux geeks aren't hot, but you'd be wrong -- sure, like a cross-section of society, some of us are a little funny-looking, but you have to check out the high end of the bell curve: we've got some hotness hiding in our ranks:

How Nerds Should Dress

MIT, home of all things useful, has given some smart tips to build the basic wardrobe. What good would $500 wingtips do if you can't find a good, basic shirt? And, believe me, some nerds I've know look at fashion that way. The MIT fashion project plan is dry, simple, and explainitive, exactly what a logical and factual Vulcan of an MIT student can understand. Other than those Media Lab guys -- they're essentially art majors with long hair, huge pecs, and intriguing wonder they get laid all the time. Anyhoo, MIT is hoping that they can improve their students' images by giving them a list of how to dress. Both male and female students get advice from the list (although, as with the guys, the Media Lab gals are hard to improve...mrowwr!), but as any nerd porn afficianado can attest to, nerdy gals are far sexier than nerdy guys, on the same logarithmic Sexitude Scale, which was probably developed my some MIT student in the first place. Really, the list applies to anybody who has trouble figuring out what to wear in the morning, which accounts of about 80% of the single guys I know. With a little MIT advice, you can go from this:to, wait -- which one was the 'before' picture? Crap, maybe it was the other way around. It's such a gray area...kinda like judging fine wine solely by the quality of the label. Sure, great wines can afford a real graphic designer, but some of the best wine comes in bottles made by the winery's grandson, liberally using the Papyrus font, but crappy wine in a...hmm....Talking about those Media Lab guys got me off topic, then I messed up the "Which John Hodgman is Sexier," and now I mixed up my wine metaphors. Good thing I can dress myself.

Perl, Bitches!

Geeks out there will appreciate that my website is written in 100% Perl. Perl isn't the greatest of languages, it isn't the prettiest of languages, but I'll be darned if it isn't the sexiest of languages.

You doubt me? Just look at the fun these ladies are having with their Perl manual. Oooh, ladies - I'll make your 'O-Face' a regular expression!

I would, however, be remiss if I didn't point out that the erotic Perl website above was written in PHP, rather than Perl. Kids today and their fancy new languages don't know how to get off like us seasoned pros can!