Durex condoms created a survey, asking what American's top sex fantasies were. The results are rather blase: At the movie theater! In the library! In a car! That's probably because those are the only ones that would possibly have more than one person giving the same answer. All the single answers - "in my mom's closet!", "down at the Ben Franklin Store!", "while my violin teacher is watching!" - scored so low that they don't show up on the list, even though 98% of everyone gave something strangely specific. Only the boring people gave answers boring enough to have quantifiable results. Come on, people: be more creative, there should be no statistically relevant sexual fantasies. Be unique, otherwise you're just boring like everyone else.
See, here, dear readers, this is why I get paid the big bucks: to uncover weird corners of the sexual internet for you. This is something I've run across way too often to overlook. Today, we're talking about men who play with Anime dolls. Not the lifesize RealDoll crowd, but little, Barbie-doll sized ones.
OK, Japan is weird to begin with, so it's no surprises that sexually explicit figurines are a common thing over there. They love their hardcore anime, so why not have little statuettes and action figures of your favorite cartoon whores?
Yes, that's a bookshelf figurine, approximately 1/8 scale, but the tits look about 1:1 for most normal adults. But, hey, you've got fully grown men buying these things, so you have to trust their sensibilities when producing your product. I'm sure, ladies, when you first go to a guy's apartment and see shelves and shelves of these figures - with their clothes temporarily on, of course, the guy's not a sleeze - you might want to give a little more thought to your opinion of the guy. If you're on the same page when it comes to tiny women with huge breasts, by all means, you're exactly the gal he's looking for.
Of course, you can't just leave sexy little naked figurines like that alone. When it comes to fan-created pornographic video, the "cumming on figurines" crowd are some of the most enthusiastic and productive group of 'em, as their Reddit club shows guys love orgasming on miniature women.
As you might guess, having a immovable and unresponsive statuette isn't nearly as fun as if you could pose them. Here comes the next step in the doll worship continuum: the ball-joint doll, or BJD.
Sorry for the nightmare fuel; that's what a plain unembellished one looks like. The fun is getting to build your own, choosing clothing, hair, and even different body parts to fit your particular needs in a jointed tiny woman doll. Volks is the premiere maker of these dolls, but several other companies are also in the market:
I looked around for pictures of men cumming on a BJD (such an exciting life I lead), but they're not as common. The appeal of moving into jointed sex doll territory is this magic of modern technology:
This isn't just a standalone toy, though: it is designed to use the modularity of the BJD mannequins, replacing the fun parts that you want soft and sexy while leaving the rest of the ladyparts on a 1/8th scale to a normal-sized human.
And, yes, it does look about as much fun as you might think:
Really makes a small penis look downright intimidating, doesn't it? All of this is peripherally related to koonago, literally "small lady", or "shrinking woman" pornography. There's a degree of domination, of course - which should make it no surprise that giant-woman-small-man is significantly more common - and on the further edges having a tiny woman crosses over into vore territory, but that's a bit beyond the scope of today's discussion. The thing that impressed me most about this affection for tiny women is that it has little to do with youth - it teeters on the edge but never quite goes there - and is more about an actual tiny adult women facing off against a giant penis. And who isn't turned on by that?
There's a fetish for everybody, including people obsessed with how hot passenger safety is. Jalopink has a gallery of seat belt fetish pictures, which has more to do with huge breasts bound by nylon straps, but more accessible than the average BDSM. But, hell: big tits? Count me in, anyways.
Ever feel the overpowering urge to have sexual relations with thousands of pounds of raw power? Er, are you sure? No? Objectophilia isn't just a Boston Legal joke: this guy has had sexual relation with many cars, and - gasp - a brief affair with the helicopter from Airwolf (that slut). If you're in the UK, supposedly he's going to be on TV talking about fucking cars, which they are calling 'mechaphilia', as if we needed another word for sex; it's like eskimos and snow, but much, much more penis.
The Folsom Street Fair, "the world's largest leather event", will be taking to the streets this September, subjecting the world to a culture of happy, self-aware people who tend to do things that the average person would find scary. As sort of a 'poke' at the average, nuclear family, Folsom's advertising for this year features an average, nuclear family...made up of an interracial conglomeration of hotties and beefcake, each decked out in a different genre of fetishwear.
Oh, boy, do the "Family Values" nerds not like being poked: It's homosexual! People are nude in public and nobody's stopping them! Perversion is perverse! "San Francisco also features a homosexual organization whose members dress up as nuns." Dear God, what is happening in the world?!? It is completely unacceptable that one of the more sex-friendy (with limitations, of course) religions, Catholicism, would be mocked by a sexual minority - hell, Catholicism should be embraced by the sexual subculture for recognizing sex is supposed to be fun. Christian evangelical politicos? They definitely need to be mocked. You see, it is completely impossible for a family to include both a black woman and a U.S. Marine and a guy with tattoo sleeves. Stifling religious control is required to imitate those social icons which represent the truth of American culture: imaginary families invented for television during the censorship of the Code years. When these religious types attend a leather fetish event, they do not deserve to be offended so. Remember, everyone: family values are designed to exclude and punish those with differing worldviews than this imaginary construct of an appropriate family: without guilt, how else would people know that getting kinky at an approved, sanctioned kink event was wrong?
Durex condoms created a survey, asking what American's top sex fantasies were. The results are rather blase: At the movie theater! In the library! In a car! That's probably because those are the only ones that would possibly have more than one person giving the same answer. All the single answers - "in my mom's closet!", "down at the Ben Franklin Store!", "while my violin teacher is watching!" - scored so low that they don't show up on the list, even though 98% of everyone gave something strangely specific. Only the boring people gave answers boring enough to have quantifiable results. Come on, people: be more creative, there should be no statistically relevant sexual fantasies. Be unique, otherwise you're just boring like everyone else.
