The family's gone, you've opened all the presents, you've got two more days off until you have to get back to work, have a gander at these tits and relax a while!

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Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...so these ladies thought it'd be a good time for some kisses under the Christmas tree! Merry Christmas Everyone!

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Hello, ladies! Um, hello...ladies? I can see that you're pretty occupied right now, but if you'll turn your attention to my penis over here, we can....well, whatever. You two keep going at it, I'll just be sitting over here masturbating.

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Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize there were two - oh, I'm still invited? Well, I'm not sure where I would fit. My, how gracious of you ladies: you seem to have plenty of places for me to "fit". How considerate!

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Yes, the Indian and the Cowboy below are gonna do all the nasty, nasty things you're expecting, which isn't my problem. As somebody who grew up on or near an indian reservation, I've been raised that both of these stereotypes have racist undertones that make me queasy. The "indian" however, is so fucking cute that I'll only cry a little while masturbating to their dirty, dirty lesbian sex.

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"Hey, you - yeah, you two the temp agency sent over, get the fuck back to work! Jesus christ, they never send over anybody who can do the work. Yesterday it was midgets, the day before it was the armless guy, and today they send two huge-breasted lesbians. This Walgreen's is never going to get built."

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You two fine women seem to be such good friends: you go to the store together, do laundry together...oh, my. This bathing together seems a bit more "familiar" than I'd expect, what else do you-oh, I see. I'd like to volunteer as something you'd like to do together, too!

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COED magazine, conniseurs of the art of semi-nude horny photography, have identified one common move that really gets the juices flowing: The Tandem Boob Press. "Tandem Boob Press" would be an awesome name for a book publisher, but, sadly, all it is....IS THIS!

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Holy fuck, that's hot, even though there's no nipples or cunt visible. 'Sceuse me, I need to go do something in the bathroom for a couple minutes...

...yes, sensationalist, but it's fun to pretend that Tom Cruise is still in the closet. Top Gun star Kelly McGillis has revealed that her sexuality is more fluid than most, and she's attracted to women. This is despite two previous marriages and two children, which goes to show that coming to grips with finding women attractive can take a while; I was lucky, I was attracted to women from the start. The ongoing threat of Lesbian Overthrow continues, men: prepare to be aroused - if I learned anything from porn, it's that being dominated by two lesbians is the best torture ever.

Oprah always asks the hard questions: why are lesbians taking over? Answer: because they can. Guys - in general - aren't as sexually flexible as women, but when a woman is presented with some asshole who thinks his dick is god's gift to women (and what man doesn't think such things?) a woman is far more inclined to switch-hit when the pitcher is right. Toss in reduced risk of pregancy, a likelihood of common pasttimes, and (in the Oprah article's case) being famous enough to have your pick of attractive women, and you're in like Flynn. Plus, there's not as much of a social stigma today as in the past, when you had to tell people you were two spinster schoolmarms helping each other out, and nobody wants to pretend to be a schoolmarm, for christ's sakes. In standard Oprah-style, there's also an enormous version of the article on her website.