Put 'em up pardner, and gimme some of those KitKats over there...

More from this gallery >>

Dave Olinger of Oak Harbor, Washington, wants the position of Sheriff of Island County. Dave happens to be 87-years-old, mad as heck, and likes to sun himself completely naked. His wife blames Jon Stewart for Dave's new interest in politics, which makes him all right by me. Part of his issue is that the current sheriff advertises himself as a Republican candidate - something rather vile to do for a nonpartisan elected position - so Dave's first intention was to run as the Nudist Party.

Trust me, googling "Nudist Party" does not get you information on party affiliation, grassroots initiatives, or political platform FAQs.

Anyhow, Dave wants to keep Whidbey Island safe from political shenanigans for the old, liberal, nudists that call it home. See, just look at the kindly coot, wouldn't you want him as your sheriff?

Via.

Happy new years'! Drive safe, or get a cab: the cop that pulls you over will not be this not, nor as welcoming.