Posts Tagged 'Politics'

Conservatives Still Love Porn!

This sounds familiar...yes, back in 2009, but re-emphasized in a new study. Conservative regions just can't get enough porn - most porn searches come from red states, despite conservative attempts to reign in and destroy the porn industry and sexual freedom in general. They do make a good point, though: those with a more progressive libido might only have the internet as an outlet for their predilections, while people living elsewhere can, you know, just go have weird sex without threat of arrest or abuse.


Nudist Party Sheriff!

Dave Olinger of Oak Harbor, Washington, wants the position of Sheriff of Island County. Dave happens to be 87-years-old, mad as heck, and likes to sun himself completely naked. His wife blames Jon Stewart for Dave's new interest in politics, which makes him all right by me. Part of his issue is that the current sheriff advertises himself as a Republican candidate - something rather vile to do for a nonpartisan elected position - so Dave's first intention was to run as the Nudist Party.

Trust me, googling "Nudist Party" does not get you information on party affiliation, grassroots initiatives, or political platform FAQs.

Anyhow, Dave wants to keep Whidbey Island safe from political shenanigans for the old, liberal, nudists that call it home. See, just look at the kindly coot, wouldn't you want him as your sheriff?


CPAC Nookie!

Wherever Conservatives go, everyone's surprised by the amount of sex that follows. Sure, Liberals probably fuck the locals just as much, but they're at least happy to admit it. Conservatives hate any sort of just-for-fun sex -- when speaking to the public -- so there's a certain amount of schadenfreude in reading their non-sexy and barely poetic attempts to get laid via Craigslist. Can't you guys just masturbate to pictures of women being turned away from abortion clinics or kids going hungry? We all know what turns you on: you'll be much happier if you just admit it to the world.


Republican Butt Plugs!

As if Republicans don't already have a collection of these already, some pollster has recognized the look of Republican candidate graphs and decided to make butt plugs out of 'em. Strangely, the Bachmanns and the Santorums get the smallest of 'em, when they deserve the biggest, so go figure.


Lingerie Councilwoman League!

Having a career to fall back on is an awesome way to look at life, and Ms Kellie Gillispie has got a political career to fall back on if her high-profile sports career, as a member of the fucking Lingerie Football League doesn't pan out. She has even made a statement about how this won't interfere with her political career, and it's proof of how fucked up the U.S. is that she even needs to make a point of addressing the fact. She plays football in a bikini with bows on it. Is that seriously a big impact? And don't do that 'think of the children' crap, they see plenty of swimsuits throughout their life, and that doesn't include ones in which women play the same sports as men. Having a politician with a good attitude towards these "morality" issues is a good deal; hopefully a progressive mind continues through the rest of her politics.

More from this gallery >>

People Who Said Nigger Today!

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and IMHO one of the more important holidays of our year. It's not necessarily about being black, but about stepping up and making the world around you a better place for those people around you, regardless of their categorical characteristics. What makes America great is the idea that we're a body of people who all contribute to make our country better each and every day. Seriously; the unknown neighbor who plowed my sidewalk while I was at work is part of it; having a black president is part of it; giving everyone - men, women, minorities, the poor, the sick, everyone - the right to vote is what we've got, and that kicks ass. While we've climbed so very high and moved so many mountains in the past century, gone to the moon and created cable TV and made email that can circle the world and connect distant lands in an instant, there's still fuckheads like these, featured at PWSNT. It's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and so many people don't get it - and it's not that they don't get it, but that they're so removed from this awesome world that in exercising their first-amendment rights they only show just how empty, scared, and painful their shitty lives are. Calling a spade a spade1, showing on this fine day just how much is left to be remedied, must remind us to not rest on our laurels and continue what MLK Jr had in mind. I heard this at lunch, Cory Booker, Mayor of Newark, talking about what he thinks today is all about. Listen to him, fuck all the racist shitheads.

Abstinence-Only = Over!

After nearly a decade of government support for abstinence-only programs, the Obama administration has cut support in the new budget. It's a rough economy, you know, can't pay for every dumbass program the government has created! Most of the $300 million sex-related budget goes to programs proven to delay sexual intercourse and promote pregnancy and disease prevention, which at least accepts the fact that a huge chunk of the population is going to lose their virginity in their teens, no matter what the President has to say about it. Don't worry, overreacting parents: your church will be more than happy to fill your kids' heads with abstinence-only teachings - it'll still work as well as it ever had.

Never Met A Gay!

An awesome quote from the time of the Supreme Court decision legalizing homosexual acts:
"I don't believe I've ever met a homosexual", [Justice] Powell replied. Chinnis said that seemed unlikely. Later the same day, Powell came back to Chinnis and asked, "Why don't homosexuals have sex with women?" "Justice Powell," he replied, "a gay man cannot have an erection to perform intercourse with a woman." The conversation was especially bizarre not just because of its explicit nature but because Chinnis himself was gay...

This is why, people, you don't want others to make decisions about your private life - that is, unless they know the right person to ask about the rights and wrongs of it. There's probably somebody, within arm's reach, who can give you the other side...and if not, you lead a sheltered life and should not be deciding for the rest of your society what is morally just and responsible.

Politics and Sex: Bad!

Poor Ray Lam: this youngster tried to run for political office in his province, but he had to drop out because he was acting like every other fucking twenty-something idiot on Facebook, posting pictures of himself doing PG-rated clothed suggestive touching with, my guess is, political supporters. Yes, unprofessional, but the problem here aren't the expectations political behavior. It's the expectations of not looking like a horny idiot in public. Sure, he's gay, but what could possibly be the motivation to put photos of you touching a woman's breast online - so your coworkers at Best Buy can marvel at you, wondering how you could be so awesome as to actually having touched a breast in your life? Dude, you're on Facebook, you're not that cool.

Paddy Pantsdown!

A new children's book has been released: More Sexual Secrets in the Life of Paddy Pantsdown, a sequel to "Sexual Secrets in the Life of Paddy Pantsdown," which earned a Peabody and the Caldecott Medal in 1991. In this story, which builds on the previous book's story of Pantsdown's affair with his secretary, we learn more of Pantsdown's earlier sexcapades. In the new book, rapscallion Pantsdown finds he needs help with his mathematics homework, and gets sent to a tutor. Using color illustrations and a limited vocabulary on par with Dr. Seuss, the story of Paddy Pantsdown recalls how the tutor initiated a sexual relationship with Pantsdown, thus proving that UK newspapers are fucking twee when it comes to cute headlines and nicknames for scandalous politicians, and when somebody who was in a scandal nearly twenty years ago writes a biography, only the sex parts of the book are worth writing about.

Topless Italians!

The problem most people have is that the mostly-nude Italians in this classical piece of art are their politicans: Silvio Berlusconi and Minister of Equal Opportunities Mara Carfagna. Insult! they cry, wishing deeply that Berlusconi was also as hot topless as Carfagna.


Movie stars promote it, it's seen as chic and debonair, and society accommodates it at every turn. It's smoking back half a century ago, which this writer sees as a parallel to our current opinion of pornography. Well, sorta: first scroll down to "distinctions with a difference" which erodes 90% of the argument, and then it boils down to this: in the 1950s, society as a whole moralized against pornography, but let people decide for themselves on smoking. Today, smoking is controlled by society, while people are allowed to decide for themselves about pornography. The mechanism for both changes in attitude is markedly different, and it's unfair to think that pornography will follow the same path of cigarettes, even in the writer's own arguments. It would be helpful to believe what the writer has to say if she'd cite her sources: she claims porn incites sexual assault, causes divorces (one very biased source there), gets people fired, that the business has high margins and low cost just like tobacco - but when you write for a university think-tank, nobody expects you to actually know anything: as long as you write convincingly, nobody will take your FranklinCovey planner away. Watch for next week's article, "Pornography is the new child-beating" and "Pornography is the new locking up of pregnant teenagers" as other comparisons to the wholesome 1950s as viewed through very limited cultural contexts but fleshed out with thousands of words of speculation.