Posts Tagged 'News'

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Yoda's A Daddy

A 111-year-old lizard has done what you'll wish you'll be able to do in a few decades: impregnate someone 2/3 your age (she's 70). "He is now enjoying the company of three females and might breed again next March, Hazley said." Again, stuff you're not going to do, ever, let alone when you're over 100 years old.

Rare Car Not-So-Rare

Unable to own a genuinely rare car, a group of Ford Mustang buyers are suing the carmaker for not artifically limiting the production of a limited edition Mustang. In 2007, only 100 were to ever be produced -- but Ford made 100 more in 2008. Wait...aren't car collectors the ones who can tell the difference between two years' of cars, even if the bodies were the same, by serial numbers and engine stamps? I vote to take these so-called "car collectors" Greasemonkey Identification Cards away. A 'Franklin Mint' version of a car isn't really a collectible car.

Men: Complicated In Bed

In an article written by a woman from the island of Amazonia, where no man has stepped foot and lived in over ten thousand years, a new Kinsey Institute study shows that there's little rhyme or reason about what turns guys on. Good luck, ladies: we're just as hard to predict as you are!

Girlie Mags Cause All Evil

The UK Parliment is doing...something...about telling the world that 'lad mags' (as they're called over there) give men unreasonable expecations about the beauty and sluttiness of women, because all entertainment magazines portray truth and reality, just as Popular Science gives me unreasonable expectations of flying cars and microwave weapons, or Cosmopolitan gives me unreasonable expecations of experiencing 10 hot ways to have oral sex. Oh, and you should check if members of your party write for said magazines first, or else the public will cry hyp! ocracy!

AmAp: Ads Excel

American Apparel: greatest online advertiser today. Their near-softcore banner ads with vaguely-unattractive models has intrigued bloggers for months.

Bullet-Proof Bra

German police have a new part to their uniform: the so-called "bullet-proof bra". It's not bullet-proof on its own; it's designed to be worn underneath a bulletproof vest, to prevent bra-related injuries that might occur if a woman was shot in the chest while wearing a unisex bulletproof vest. All I can imagine is the premium hot chicks will pay to have bras with "POLIZEI" embroidered across the bottom. Hold on, let me reflect on that image for a while...

Oil Changes Not War Crime

Changing lug nuts and oil filters is not a war crime, says the defense lawyer for Osama bin Laden's former driver. U.S. lawyers say people have been waterboarded for less, and begin the process for rewriting war-crime qualification list.

Poverty Organ Harvest: Bad

Sadly, it has just been brought to my attention that buying a poor person's internal organs is considered inhumane. Now how am I going to get that fifth testicle?

Olympics Cyclist Nude

British cyclist Rebecca Romero, along with Triple jumper Phillips Idowu and swimmer Gregor Tait have been photographed naked, performing their sport, for an advertisement for "a sports drink." You can see the two guys in the article's slideshow, but here you get to see a toned, nude body on a bike:

Teachers, Students, Sex Ed

The headline reads, "Teacher-Student Relationships Key To Learning Health And Sex Education", but, sadly, it has nothing to do with hot teen-on-teacher-action (which is sick, you perv). What the article is really trying to say is: don't give the creepy old, somewhat-masculine female gym teacher the job of teaching health & sex-ed. Students who respect and trust the teacher get more out of the class.

Berlusconi's Boob Trouble

Silvio Berlusconi has pulled an Ashcroft: the Italian prime minister has opted to cover up a bare-breasted piece of classical art (seen here), to conform to popular opinion that naked women are ugly, disgusting things and should never be seen. As with Ashcroft, the background boob seems to be photographed with intent to give subtle commentary; Ashcroft, to reference his censoring nature -- but for Berlisconi, as a reference to misogynistic comments he's made about women to the media.

7 Most Ridiculous Porn Sites

Eh, it's a mildly amusing list, mostly including parodies and non-porn-with-porn-sounding names, but who can pass up the opportunity to pretend BJ The Clown is what his name sounds like? The scary thing is: the truly ridiculous porn is far less funny than you'd think. People with bizarre fetishes take themselves rather seriously.

Iowa: Strippers Are Art

The State of Iowa has ruled that stripping is protected speech, thus moving nude dancers from the 'obscene' column into the 'art' column. The story has a twist, though: the reason the strip club was in court in the first place wasn't a run-of-the-mill obscenity trial...a seventeen-year-old in the audience started taking it off, and -- oops -- she was related to the local sheriff. The difference between a nude seventeen-year-old being art versus being obscene had a huge degree of weight in the matter. The court's decision was that a strip club reasonably constituted a theatre, and as such the dancing is an artistic performance, thus excepting it fro! m the obscenity rules.

Distracted By Nude Passenger

A driver ran a red light, crashing into another car -- the driver tho caused the accident claimed they were distracted by the naked person in the back seat. Even cooler: the distracted driver was a woman. Aside from the accident, this was almost the sexiest speeding ticket porno ever -- "really, officer, the naked woman distracted me." "Stay in the driver's seat, citizen -- I'll check it out." bow chicka bow bow!!

'Quirky' Jobs On The Rise

The days of growing up to be a farmer, policeman, secretary, or manager are gone: insurance companies, who base rates on the type of business done, are having trouble shoehorning things like 'badger consultant,' and 'feng shui advisor' into current job title descriptions as these obscure niche jobs become more commonplace than ever before. While I can still call myself unique, filling in 'freelance sex blogger' on job applications just doesn't have the same uniqueness.

Drugs & Sex 24/7

When John Wallen saw his renters leave because of the high crime in the area, he decided to bring attention to the situation with a banner reading "DRUGS & SEX FOR SALE 24/7". At least, that's what he's telling people -- I sure hope people don't get the misconstrued idea that he's consolidating the street drugs and prostitution into one tidy apartment building complex, or his cunning plan may not work as well as he thought.

Penis Obscuring

Very important information, presented humorously: how to hide your erection from the world. The video would like me to believe that erection-hiding is important to one's social life, but when my bulge extends down to the kneecap in my dungarees, I've decided it's more an asset than a liability. Your mileage may vary.

The Twin Cities

The Frisky has a 'guide' to Minneapolis/St. Paul, just down the road from here. The SK gals and I did a roundup in 2005, and Smitten Kitten (at a new location, apparently) is the only overlap. Either the fun stuff we found has disappeared, or there's definitely more than anyone can fit into a quick round-up; my guess is the latter is true. Lili's Burlesque looks like it's still around, and out of everything we saw this was probably the coolest; too bad Frisky missed it.

Sex Surrogates Succeed

Despite accusations of prostitution masquerading as medicine, a survey of patients who've used a sex surrogate are overwhelmingly positive. Ask a non-medical sex worker, and they'll tell you that many of their customers are emotionally hobbled in some way by loneliness or social discomfort -- what could be better than having a psychiatrist supervising and advising? We do it for other social anxiety problems or mental illness, putting patients in real-world situations under guidance of a mentor, and sex shouldn't be seen as such a different thing.

Sex Toys OK in TX

If you've been having trouble buying dildos in Texas lately (and who hasn't tried?), you'll be pleased to hear that the Texas Supreme Court has ruled that laws prohibiting adult toys are unconstitutional and a violation of privacy. In the last three hours, hordes of middle-aged housewives stormed into Texas from Oklahoma with their "pleasure party" sales kits in hand -- it's complete, orgasmic bedlam.

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