Posts Tagged 'Film'

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Australia Owns Porn!

Well, aside from the mail inspectors, who have enormous amounts of porn as "evidence" and "examples", it seems the Australian government is funding a porn collection of their own. The Australian National Film and Sound Archive keeps a porn stash, thus preserving the hot and horny integrity of Australian culture, thus hopefully negating some of the damage done by Yahoo Serious and that bad battery-commercial guy.

Top Gun Star Gay!

...yes, sensationalist, but it's fun to pretend that Tom Cruise is still in the closet. Top Gun star Kelly McGillis has revealed that her sexuality is more fluid than most, and she's attracted to women. This is despite two previous marriages and two children, which goes to show that coming to grips with finding women attractive can take a while; I was lucky, I was attracted to women from the start. The ongoing threat of Lesbian Overthrow continues, men: prepare to be aroused - if I learned anything from porn, it's that being dominated by two lesbians is the best torture ever.


Pervirella runs from the masturbating monster, is saved by Amazons, but is taken captive. Sorry, I think my random sentence generator went, no - that's really the only way to explain this clip, from a much larger naughty movie called Pervirella, as discovered by - who else? - a website full of scifi geeks. Congratulations, io9, that masturbating monster will haunt my dreams.

The Girlfriend Experience!

It must be Film Festival season: Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience is being shown at Tribeca, and a trailer has been released. This is the movie with the - omygod - real life porn star in it! They so rarely have been seen in the wild, except as a joke or when the 'mainstream' actors get weird about sex on screen. I've heard good things about it, but mostly because it's naughty; it will probably be a bit to artsy for people who are looking for titillation.

Stripper For Reunion!

Ah, the life of an avant-garde filmmaker: make crazy crap happen and film it, and you've got it made! Case in point: filmmaker Andrea Wachner decided not to go to her reunion, but RSVP'ed anyway. In her place, she sent a lookalike stripper to pose as Andrea, and film the shenanigans. As you might expect, Punk'ding your fellow alumni doesn't get you any brownie points. Unsurprisingly, nobody has picked up her 'documentary' for distribution yet. She's a freelance comedy writer, so I suppose, well, it might have been funny; remember, humorists: if the people who think you're funny are a) your family, or b) they were drunk, you're actual level of funniness is suspect. That said, I may have to find that youtube video: the stripper she hired is rather hot in that Lisa-Loeb/Liz-Lemon/Lana-Lang (Lisa Ling? Lucy Liu? Lori Line? Langelina Lolie?) sort of way. (via)

R-Rated Look At X-Rated Industry

Something for the Netflix queue: Naked Ambition, An R-Rated Look At An X-Rated Industry. It's not so much a film about porn itself, but a visit to two recent AVN awards, which is like going to a tech tradeshow to see how your grandpa uses a celphone. I'm hoping it's like the featurette on the Girl Next Door unrated edition, "The Eli Experience", in which a witty high school student visits AVN and hob-nobs with the porn industry; I could have watched that for a feature-length film.

Marilyn Chambers On The Set!

This site has a great bio (a few years old, though) of Marilyn Chambers, including stories of her time on the set of Behind the Green Door. She smoked pot?!? I'm offended; anyone who needs to get high before filming a psychedelic-trapeeze-interracial-bukakke scene, they don't deserve my respect. Aw, sorry - I can't feel that way about Chambers; she was too awesome to think poorly of.

Withnail and I: On The Set

The FirstPost has an excellent, but short, photogallery of actors on the set of the loopy British comedy Withnail and I; it was on some all-movie cable channel a while back, and it was great, in that 'droll-not-sure-what-they're-kidding-about' way that's so much fun in British cinema. Harry Potter's uncle plays a pushy gay guy - that makes it awesome to begin with.

Zach & Miri: Good Porn!

Kevin Smith has a new job: porn director! BlueBlooded has watched Zach and Miri Make a Porno and decided the director has some talent for filming believable sex. It might have something to do with Smith having a big enough budget to hire some well-trained actors, but there's been plenty of big-budget movies with some poorly-done sex scenes, that it might appear Smith just has a talent for filming fucks. This new up-and-comer is one to watch the next time the AVN awards roll around!

Sexiest Sci-Fi Scenes!

What's sexier than a movie written by and for men who have probably had serious difficulty getting laid during their life? Nothing, that's how. Topless Robot, an erectionally-arousing phrase if I ever heard one, has compiled a list of the 7 sexiest film sex scenes ever. Computer-Human sex? VR-coitus-interruptus in Demolition Man? Methinks the TR writer has had his own difficulty in accomplishing sex himself.

Plato's Retreat

A new movie is out for those of you who think orgy facility documentaries are fascinating: American Swing documents Plato's Retreat, a swinger's club in New York during the late '70s disco days, largely relying on an interview with the proprietor before his death in 1999. I know of Plato's Retreat from some history-channel / VH1 / discovery-channel quasi-documentary, which spent most of its time recapping after frequent commercial breaks, but it was intriguing enough that a documentary just on Plato's could definitely be a viewport into that 'free love' era of recent time; double-bill it with Inside Deep Throat, and you've got a night of seventies sexual nostalgia.

Sneeze Porn!

Andrew Sullivan of The Atlantic has exposed his deepest, darkest fantasy: watching people sneeze. Oooh, it's so naughty - but Sullivan takes it too far, and includes that video of a panda sneezing. Now he's just made things so, so very wrong: pandas aren't sexy, they're the national identity of China. Naughty The Atlantic blogger pervert.

Porn Censors Get Hard!

...or, rather, that's their worry. British censors are worried that, if they were alone during their porn viewings, they'd be more likely to get aroused and distracted from their jobs. Until lately, they've always watched porn in a group, but the rough economy might mean censors having to view Teen Ass Cum Sluts XXIV all on their lonesome. If I were a censor, I'd agree - I'd like to have somebody with when porning it up. Oh, no, they wouldn't be another censor, but she'd appreciate the film anyway, if you know what I mean.

Dr Manhattan: PENIS!

I never read Watchmen, don't know anything about it, but I do know this: Dr. Manhattan has a huge blue penis. Well, it's no longer a human blue penis, sadly, as Dr. Manhattan's body was altered by a Hulk-like accident, resulting in his being more than human. If anybody were to try to measure said superhuman-penis, I'd wager is is three apples tall.

Travis Bickle's Jacket

Everyone with a stubby mohawk needs one of these - a replica of the Taxi Driver military jacket. It's sorta like "V is for Vendetta", but without the high-minded anarchy:


Stripper = Oscar!

I had no idea: the Oscar usually goes to the stripper, or the prostitute, or the sexually-flawed female character. According to the article, it gives women a chance to really act, to fill a complex and nuanced role, which might tell you something about most of the women's roles. The stripper/hooker roles, though, are often positive, sympathetic roles, which is something the Oscars might have, but the real world seems to ignore.

Oh, Mighty Isis!

I barley remember The Secret of Isis, which was on when I was younger - apparently, the seventies' free-flowing sexuality means that actresses who had performed partly nude in the past made it into children's TV without a sniffle. Silent Porn Star has proof - and we were all excited when the rumour of at he Pink Power Ranger doing softcore porn? That wern't nothing!

The Dirk Diggler Story

Who doesn't like Boogie Nights? The music is pretty much all I have on my iPod. Paul Thomas Anderson, the genius behind Marky Mark's hugemungeous penis, started it all with a short film that became the basis for Boogie Nights, called "The Dirk Diggler Story," available on Google Video:

I Called It!

I freakin' knew that "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" would do well - unlike the people that, you know, actually made the movie. Coming in on the tail of Oscar-buzz season, in which big-name, artistically-wraught films with high audience expectations fill the theatres, Paul Blart fills a void that people have been missing for a couple months: dumb, physical comedy that parents can take their kids to and aspires to nothing more than a $20Mil opening weekend. The modesty of their expectations was rewarded by the Kharma gods, and the film has made more than twice expectations.

3D Porn!

China always kicks our ass when it comes to using new technology - now, a porn producer is making history: he's filming the first 3D porn film ever. According to the director, "There will be many close-ups. It will look as if the actresses are only a few centimetres from the audience." Er, well, maybe that's why it hasn't been done before...I don't think anyone has really thought about what it'll look like to have a fifty-foot woman's hoo-ha protruding off the screen, ready to devour any who get too close. But, well, that 'outside the box' thinking is why we trust China with all our production needs, right?

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