Posts Tagged 'Playboy'

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Hef Selling Playboy?!?

It's probably an obvious move, given Playboy's troubles in keeping with the pack in the era of modern pornography. Hef is talking to Brit Richard Branson about selling off Playboy and its holdings to the UK millionare, which makes sense on a couple levels. First, Virgin isn't a sloppy business and has its hands in all kinds of media. Second, have you seen Richard Branson? He's all kinds of hot and dreamy, very much a modern version of the Playboy that Hef was portraying in the 1950s. There had been talks about passing the reins on to Maxim a few years back; if there's anything Playboy can benefit from, it's avoiding the lad's-mag genre.

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A Girl's First Playboy!

A young Jamaican writer has crossed a line so few dare: she read a Playboy. And, of course, she reviewed her experienced, as the first time she had viewed an adult magazine, which has a cute "visitor from Mars" sensibility about it. "It turns out that Playboy has the same layout as any woman's magazine" and "But, if that doesn't work for you, there is also one of her in the buff, of course with the truck" are excellent naiive observations. She, surprisingly, reaches the conclusion (possibly because of the statements ubiquitousness), that men buy Playboy for the articles, and the nudes are a bonus.

Playboy: Sexual Harrassment!

Writer Corri Fetman, seen here showing off her legal briefs, is suing Playboy's digital arm for sexual harrassment, citing that executive Thomas Hagopian spent much of his productive time groping her, sending her explicit emails, and then punishing her for not responding, rather than "driving their strategic vision to optimize its potential," as his hiring press release describes his job. Hagopian had spent much of his career in cable TV, no doubt (thanks to cheap late-night advertising rates) he had been regularly exposed to Joe Francis' inspiring girls-going-wild business model, the likes of which Playboy has been lacking: abusing the women that help you make money. As with Joe Francis, Hagopian is still "the accused" rather than "proven asshole", but with Playboy's dwindling profit and resources, it might be something they'll want settled out of court - maybe they'll just give her Hef's house.

Be A Playboy Mansion Neighbor!

Have you always wanted to hang out in your back yard and talk with your neighbors over the fence? Now, how about if those neighbors are hot, young, nubile silicone-enhanced bleach-blondes? Hugh Hefner is selling off his private residence, next door to the Playboy Mansion, for a cool $28 million. Presumably it's because he's finally moving into the room he'd prepaid for at St. Godiva Old Folks' Managed Care Facility. He should have called about those 'reverse mortgages' that let seniors keep their home without any monthly payments! Oh, OK, no more old-people jokes; Hef gets to touch more perky breasts before breakfast than I have in my whole life, so he deserves more credit than that. The other neighbor is the LA Country Club, which probably means Hef spent most days in his back yard yelling at rich people to come get their balls off his lawn. You have no idea how hard it is to be the neighbor of both a country club and a haven for hotties.

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Playboy: Getting Worse!

Sadly, Playboy's empire continues to crumble: subscriptions are down 11%, losses in the millions, and they even had to cancel their Superbowl party. There's some good news in their full press release, though: Playboy's TV ventures increased in profits, bringing in $5 million. Nobody wants Playboy to fail: where would all those photo-airbrushers and naughty cartoonists go to work at?

Carmen Electra Swimsuit

I really don't understand this - I believe the position Ms. Electra is sitting in is the only position one can sit in that swimsuit. Move even the slightest, and you've got things poppin' out everywhere. It's a good thing she's just getting her picture taken:

Proud Playboy Mom!

The daughter of Bo Black, a public figure in Milwaukee, has appeared on The Girls Next Door topless, in a bid to get in the 55th anniversary issue of Playboy. Mom, however, is fine with it - she already went through the public wringer over her Playboy cover in 1967. Sure, Bo wasn't nude in any way, and Playboy's purpose has changed in this modern era of Hustler and online hardcore, but, hey, her daughter has some fine, fine assets and shouldn't keep them under wraps!



The daughter's modelling website. Sorry, nothing nude...yet.

Making Naughty Movies

In 1969, Vivitar ran this ad in Playboys -- and while Playboy was naughty, most advertisers played up the suaveness rather than the nudity aspect of the magazine. Vivitar ran with it and worked some female objectification into their ad.
They apply "take charge" in quite a few ways for a little ad. First, the selling point of the camera is that you can plug it in -- give it a 'charge' -- to the wall outlet (as if running out of battery interrupts the chance to stop every 5 minutes to change the film reel). Plus, they say you can "take charge" by seeing more through the viewfinder...but our geeky filmmaker looks like he's going to take charge by spiriting away his sexy subject to the darkroom for a quick fuck. Not that there's anything wrong with that; she looks ready to take whatever he's got in those fine slacks to give her. That's what he needs the AC power for -- plug in the camera, lock the trigger on, and film himself rocking this lady's world. Bully for the horn-dog in nerd-glasses!

Bits 'n' Pieces!

A condom store has responded to the Pope's condom ban by donating thirty thousand "Madonna" condoms to the LA Lesbian and Gay center (who, no doubt, are also on the Pope's 'naughty' list).

Watching this woman explaining a Michael-Jacksonesque bird mating ritual has to be the sexiest thing I've seen today.

Under pressure from the populous, a local access channel changes rules, requiring locally-produced programs, in hopes of keeping pornography off the air -- whoops, non-local religious programs violate the new rules, but locally-produced porn can stay on the air. So, out-of-region pornographers and church leaders end up on the same side to complain. Anti-pornographers haven't figured it out yet: when you make rules that don't violate free speech, you're going to affect everyone, so either suck it up or leave it alone.

The new 'teen sex fear' is something called 'daisy-chaining'. Most likely it's like those jelly bracelets and oral-sex parties -- an outbreak of once or twice and a lot of rumours -- but, hell, I couldn't get laid to save my life in high school, and it's this easy now? Geez.

Alabama is considering a bill to ban "gay" books. "I don't look at it as censorship," says State Representative Gerald Allen. "I look at it as protecting the hearts and souls and minds of our children." Exclude the Bible for it's sex and violence and church-and-state separation, this guy whould have an aneurism.

Restauranteur throws out lesbians for kissing -- restauranteur gets smacked with sexual discrimination fine.

If you're a master S&M hentai artist, drawing your actual rape conquests in comic-book form will get you caught. The odd part of the story is that he was ID'ed by his penis...when she slept with him for the 'first time' despite knowing he was married. Sounds like there's more to the story than just duct-taped humiliation rape -- but isn't that always the case?

Industrious India artisans use condoms for lubrication -- and not in a sexual way. They lubricate the thread for sewing machines, and help polish metallic thread.

The spermicidal sponge is back! having gotten FDA approval, and should be back in the regular marketplace soon.

Wife calls police because the husband is really drunk and fucking his sister in the bedroom. Police arrive, tell him to unmount and get dressed; man continues with the act anyway. Welcome to scenic Alabama!

This collector of erotic art, 65 years old, is pleasantly quotable: " I am surprised that not all men collect such items because everyone is interested in the topic."

Orgy For World Peace is a live sex site that donates revenues to non-profits. People pay for masturbatory entertainment, poor people overseas get fed. Could this plan be any cooler?

One of Playboy's "Real Desperate Housewives" talks about being a 31-year-old lifelong fan of the supposedly 'man's' magazine.

Mooove over, hormone-laden cows! Plastic is now to blame. An estrogen-mimicking chemical commonly used in your food-storage containers is making men aggressive, women fatter, children start puberty earlier, and permanently damages the sex organs, according to a number of studies. For God's sakes -- stop using plastic! You can drink milk again, though.

College students are not as promiscuous as one might think. Half had one or fewer partners, showing most people were just as sexually disappointed as I was.

Old Porn Mags!

A coupla nights back, my gal invited me to paruse her pornography collection. Four or five boxes of magazines, ranging from hokey 1980s Hustler to classy 1960s Playboy, to some strange nudist magazines from the 1950s.

This experience taught me that pornography is supposed to be a solitary thing. It's linked to your imagination, something introverted, and not designed to be cooperative. Mostly all we did was make snide comments about the women and men, point out horribly crude cartoons, and gaze in wonder at the poorly airbrush-obscured gentials in the nudist mags.

On my own, I'da probably gotten turned on by the pics -- but with Gracie there, it's doesn't compare. Right there's a woman who I can actually touch, kiss, fuck, and hold - no imagination required. How can porn beat that? We had our laugh, sorted them into "keep" and "sell on eBay," and went into the bedroom to give ourselves a hardcore pornographic experience of our very own. No imagination required!

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