Because FleshLight has a lot of money to throw around, the dating-tips tweety Simple Pickup -- which seems to only focus on skeevy pickup lines -- has been given $10,000, which they're hiding around LA hidden inside fleshlights. So, West-Coasters, if you find a FleshLight lying in the street, just shove your fingers in there and pull out what's inside! If you're lucky, it'll be money -- if not, well...you might need to get some shots, but fortune favors the bold, don't let it discourage you!

Via.

More proof that sex makes everything awesome: people who have sex four times a week make more money. Sorry, it's not as effective as "fuck bitches get money", because what's really happening is that people who get laid regularly are happier, more satisfied, and all around better people than the undersexed competitors in the workplace, and all that positivity only means bigger raises. If you don't believe me, just try it out a while -- because, really, once you're having sex four times a week, you won't be quite so worried about your paycheck if it doesn't work out the way you expected.

Origami Penis Via.

Every so often, you need to clean out between the cushions of your couch. Just look at how much change I found, along with some naked chick that never went home. It's a treasure trove!

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Once upon a time, I could've joked about how this gal is playing with Monopoly money, with it's artsy pictures and funny colors, but now that the dollar is tanking I have to be content with the fiduciary pleasure of this woman's 'safety-deposit box':