Now that the Federal shutdown is in its second week, all those IRS tax collectors, National Park rangers, Head Start teachers, and all other sorts of people furloughed are getting very, very bored. Sex toy store Vibrators.com wants to help with this: they're giving away free sex toys to laid-off Federal workers during the shutdown. I guess if Congress is going to tell Federal employees to go fuck themselves like this, it may as well be done with a fine sexual masturbatory aid.

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Digging through these old Easyriders is fun - you learn so much! I found the sextoy below in one of their 'recommended purchases', right below the beer-can sling you hang around your neck and a folding shotgun. An audio-controlled vibrator? That's awfully high-tech for the seventies; I didn't even know similar products still exist, updated for the iPod generation. One difference is (and the picture doesn't show it) that the 1970s version had a separate amp box, which doesn't sound too comfortable during practical use. I imagine that, a handy person could take out the low-powered amp it came with and put in a nice Mcintosh tube amp for rumblier lows. That's the thing with off-the-shelf audio equipment: it's always a good idea to replace the important parts with something a little more high-end.

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You know, there are times when I look at that foot-long vibrant purple fake penis in the window of the local adult bookstore and I think, "why aren't there more realistic fake penises in this big wild world?" The New York Toy Collective has teamed up with a 3d printing upstart to produce anatomically correct plastic penises scanned directly from the real thing. My first reaction, just looking at the picture? My god, they're tiny. Eh, but who am I to judge, somebody paid a couple hundred bucks for that little plastic cock, so they must not be complaining.

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