It's sad when Playboy has to get it's content from Sports Illustrated, isn't it? Well, I guess the epicness of Kate Upton's awesome tits covered in nothing but a thin layer of paint isn't to be missed any which way.

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Now, if you look really closely, you'll see that Nicki Minaj is actually wearing some very subtle facepaint. You'll have to stare long and hard, because it can be hard to see with all the distracting details in the rest of the photo:

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These will appear in something called V Magazine, but I warn you, they're actually lizards underneath their skin and the lady from Lost knows the secret!

I'm behind the times on this -- probably because it's an email viral thing, and nobody likes me enough to email me. No matter -- as payment for ignoring me, I will subject you to my skinny ass dancing & stripping for you, courtesy the Gap's "Watch Me Change" program (requires Shockwave).

Wish you were an erotic artists? The Nonist has a starter course for you, scanned from a 1970s erotic coloring book. Very stylish and obviously retro, these would look great ironed on a t-shirt. If you don't mind being hassled by mall cops for obscene t-shirts. But they let Spencers in the mall, so what's up their ass? They should mind their own business.

If you don't want to give up art saturated with breasts, Dino Cortez has galleries of his own breast-painting art. That is, he's painting upon actual breasts; the classical artists did fine painting pictures of breasts themselves, but Cortez has turned busts until canvases.

If you've ever wondered how to find lesbian scenes in movies, some afficianados have created The Encyclopedia of Lesbian Scenes -- complete with descriptions and stills.

Katie Fey gets wet and soapy in a series of videos; her disturbingly piercing gaze might be kinda scary, but I doubt you'll just look at her face.

As I've said before, soapy sex is a bit hard to come by, but this Asian couple couldn't restrain themseves, starting with some cooperative washing and ending with sexual congress. Now she's all dirty again, dude! >This couple has the same problem -- she spends all that time getting soapy and clean, only to be defiled by a good fucking.

This set has a 1970s-ish Payboy-feel to it, but that's not all bad - photographers did their work with minimal airbrushing back then. This nameless beauty soaps up, both in wet clothes and unclothed - she even smiles like a real person once.

Lovely Anne takes a bath, and actually looks like she is comfortably enjoying herself, unlike Emily 18 who appears to have been tossed in the dungeon and forced to bathe endlessly. Her creepy looks don't really pass for 'sensual,' instead appearing more like she's been locked up far too long.

This "nasty porn star", Raven Riley, can only see out of one eye. She is in the bath -- she should wash out some of that styling crap and pull her bangs back...then she wouldn't have to turn her head strangely like that anymore.

Anna, if you can trust the title, is both "18" and "busty", and she shows it off in the bubble bath. She seems quite bored, as though she's posed this way for you for the 10th night in a row and it's getting old...she's got a 18-and-busty friend, Anita, who's got video of her in the bath, too.

Danya takes a bath, pouting annoyingly for the camera, but fluffing around in the bubbles nicely. The thumbnails are cropped; the large versions are much better. Amy's sudsy thumbnails are cropped, too, but she doesn't look angry or pouty. She smiles for the camera, as though she's inviting the viewer to join her. The pouty, angry ones just look annoyed to be bothered in the bath.

In a turn of NPSP (Non-Porn Soapy Pics), S&S Chemical has given us a very sexy lady in the bath -- with the decidedly unsexy caption "POLYBOOST Polymers add fragrance and beauty to candles." Pornographers take note: if you add bland, uninteresting corporate taglines to photos, you might get more social acceptance. "No, honey -- it's not porn, it's an instructional video for application of polyethelyne barriers!"