In case you missed it, the urban legend that a vodka-soaked tampon can make a woman drunk is so totally, totally wrong. I could have told everybody that, with this quick example: let's see, men, what other mucous membranes can we try? How about, first you snort some vodka, and then we drip some in your eyes. Let's see if you stop screaming long enough for us to decide if you're drunk yet. Morons.