I hate tennis shoe bloggers. There's a zillion of them, and their posts fill up my RSS reader because fashion bloggers love a constant stream of clothes shit. As a proper gentleman, I have three pairs of footwear: steel-toed Thinsulate boots for work, a nice pair of dress shoes, and my Converse All Stars. So, it entertains me to no end that there's a guy who shreds all those fancy-shmancy trainers and makes freaky shit out of their parts. Way to go, Mr. Repurposed Materials Artist!

Via.

Since we're talking about feet and I've got shoes on my mind -- If you're out shopping for some ass-kicking kick-ass boots, promise me you won't pull any of this bullshit:These are Gucci boots, priced at $990 at Nieman Marcus. Yes, they're in the men's shoes section, even though they look like cast-offs from a Joan Jett video. Nearly a freaking grand for some ugly ass boots. No, those buckles are useless -- they zip on the side away from the camera (although, according to Gucci, the buckles are "antiqued", which means "I'm pretending to look like someone who actually wears boots with buckles"). So, let's add it up -- four fucking buckles, laces up the front, and it zips. Two of the buckles apparently hold down a flap over the laces, which isn't such a bad idea, if these were practical boots in any sense.Here's what you need to do if these even remotely appeal to you: go to a store that sells boots, ask for "engineer boots", and try them on until you find ones that fit. The single buckle over the ankle doesn't make for a great fit, so try on a bunch. Some will feel like galoshes, really wide around the ankle and toes, but if you sample enough you'll find the right ones for you. Engineer boots are all relatively similar in construction, but the soles are probably one of the big things to check -- some have really smooth bottoms, some have waffle soles. The boots hold your ankle relatively stiff, so a smooth sole might be too slippery for some floors. If the fifty dollar ones fit, great, if the $200 ones fit, good for you. If anyone tries to sell you thousand dollar boots with "antiqued" buckles slapped on all over, kick them in the crotch.

Until I catch the eye of manufacturers and start getting review samples, I feel like I'm stuck giving obvious information. Still, looking at the "men's fashion" blogs out there (which are still stuck in metrosexuality, it seems) are missing the average guy's fashion, stuff that doesn't cost a couple hundred bucks and you'd cry if you spilled anything on it because the label says the poufy shirt can only be hand-washed by eunuch monks of outer mongolia. So, here's my fashion tip, which evolves from a guy getting dressed in the morning.See, it's summer, but my fashion doesn't change much: jeans, t-shirt, whatever socks sorta match; Gracie says my socks don't match, but they're black and the same length, and that's close enough. In other footware news, last year I bought a pair of brown leather bowling-style shoes whose looks improve the more scuffed up they get. However, they're leather, my feet are sweaty, so I dug out my summer footwear -- Chuck T All-Stars by Converse:In my dad's generation, these were pretty much all you had, aside from what we'd call 'dress' shoes today. Black or white were the poor kid's versions, but if your dad had a good job, you might be able to get red or blue ones, but that'd be a stretch (dad wouldn't want to spoil you, you know). By the time I was a kid, they were retro, and my parents bought me Chuck Ts of my own. Sadly, I was a poor kid, too, so I got the discount-rack Converse that were, for the most part, the previous year's 'special edition' monstrosities (like these from this year). One year, I got All-Stars with Rolling Stones lips all over them, another year they had thicker treads and were billed as 'outdoorsman' Chuck Taylors. When I got my own money, I went for the best kind of All-Stars: Black. They were what guitarists, artists, mechanics, and pizza delivery guys wore. Yeah, I wasn't aspiring to high-income careers, but style isn't about looking like a million dollars. That's what the fashion blogs are missing -- looking like the somebody you want to be.So, for years I've always had a pair of Chuck Ts in my closet, not to wear to work (it's asking to lose a toe), but for knuckling around in. I also picked up a pair of white All-Stars, just for a little variety and a half-assed attempt at acting like I pick my shoes to match my outfit. Last week I picked up my paycheck wearing the black All-Stars, and the hot tattooed chick at work complimented me on my footwear -- scuffy leather bowling shoes, no reaction, but All-Stars, they did the trick.