I once saw Milwaukee Sexpert open for Jason Mraz at First Ave, but one of their namesakes has some recommendations of sex toys and other erotic aids, in time for National Masturbation Month. The best part: two of their recommendations are male toys.

Fox News' Sexpert wants to let you know, if your partner isn't interested in having sex with you, it's because you're not pretty enough, you're not adventurous enough, and you ignore their fantasies all day long. Those are the things you need to change in order to get laid, although, in my opinion, the biggest reason for people to avoid having sex with you is that you listen to fucking Fox News. Even their generic "rephrased from a The Frisky artice" sex advice has the sick stench of conservativism that makes dicks shrivel.