Posts Tagged 'Fox News'

Sexting How-To!

Just in case you had no idea how to flirt via celphone, Fox News wants to make sure you know how to do it right. As with most mainstream-media's attention to sex, about all they broadcast are the most shocking and unrealistic aspects of this huge social 'problem'. 'IAYM' - I am your master? Who the fuck 'sexts' that? 'NALOPKT' - Not a lot of people know that? Is that really that common of a sexting sentiment that it needs a long and cumbersome abbreviation? It sounds like a IIRC and IMHO companion, and not sexy. Anyone who's had flirted or had sex in chat - which is what, essentially, sexting is - would know that the kind of phrases that evolve into abbreviations would be things like "ILYN" (I lick your nipples), "SYC" (Sucking your cock), "OYDIN" (Oh yeah, do it now). I just made those up, but Fox News is welcome to quote them next time they want to sound 'in the know'. When you get to the end of the article, though, the last three or four tips on sexting safety are pretty good, although #2 is only setting you up for laughter. "Excuse me, but would it be OK if I sent you a sexually-oriented text message later, using a variety of unsexy acronyms that I learned from Fox News?" No, lady, that ain't gonna fly.

Sex Problems, By Fox News

Fox News' Sexpert wants to let you know, if your partner isn't interested in having sex with you, it's because you're not pretty enough, you're not adventurous enough, and you ignore their fantasies all day long. Those are the things you need to change in order to get laid, although, in my opinion, the biggest reason for people to avoid having sex with you is that you listen to fucking Fox News. Even their generic "rephrased from a The Frisky artice" sex advice has the sick stench of conservativism that makes dicks shrivel.