People on Etsy are fucking crazy. They can make the weirdest shit into the weirdest other shit, and people pay money for it. Just look at this gallery of penisified sex toys available at Etsy. Yes, that cigar really is marketed as a dildo. In fact, a quick search for the word 'dildo' on Etsy gets a BUNCH of results. The number of sexually frustrated people on Etsy must be enormous, but I probably could have figured that out anyways if I thought about it long enough.

Via. Plus, it seems this week is turning into toy week here at RBT. It's still Masturbation Month for a couple days anyways!

Although these are gorgeous, I don't think they can be used for their normal purpose. All you're asking for are porcelain shards to be driven into your hand. Unless you're punching kittens, because then you wouldn't be hitting so hard, because, really, who would punch a kitten as hard as they could? Nobody, that's who.

Via.

Poor, poor Etsy-seller boyfriends. Sure, she wears cat-eye glasses and likes the Decembrists and is an alternate on the roller derby, so of course you thought she's be the best girlfriend ever. Then you learn she crochets, and then one night, while you're both watching Power Rangers for the ironic sensibilities of it all, she holds out the cap she just finished and tells you to put it on. With the zap of a camera flash, you have now been immortalized as the guy with the dinosaur hat on Regretsy. Is the crazy-chick sex really worth it? IS IT???

Via.