Posts Tagged 'Apple'

Sue Apple For Porn!

Some guy has finally found who is to blame for all the nasty, nasty porn on the internet: it's Apple. Specifically, it's Apple's internet-connected devices, which provide access to all that, mmmmm, nasty nasty porn, oooh, that's available on the internet. It's the same reason I sued Ford for my beer-belly, because they made it oh-so-easy to head down to the drive-thru liquor store rather than walking there. The bastards, making me fat and making this dude's dick all chafed. This is what happens when you let corporations run free.


Get Your Powerbook To The Mac Store

Cosmo has some good news for computer geeks: they say that ladies are likely to find a guy if they go take a gander at the toys coming and going from the Apple Store. "You can check your email among cuties," they say, "take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise."
Not to mention that the guys who shop at the Apple Store can actually afford a Mac in the first place: picking up a guy in the computer section of Wal-Mart browsing the $499 all-in-one PC bundles is probably not the prime cut compared to a guy whose Powerbook is having battery problems. And if you're lucky enough to live near one that never closes, a guy might be lucky enough to encounter a gal trying to hook up with somebody sober at 2am. For guys like me, of course, this is a huge boon: all we need to do is scrounge up an iPod, shower and dress nice, and we might look like we're worth some one-on-one time with a Cosmo-reading babe looking for a Mac guy of her very own. Guys do need to be on their guard, though -- keep an eye out for the Mac-owning babes, not the Cosmo-reading predators. For crying out loud, if she owns a Mac and is unencumbered, she's worth your time, guys!